No way! The most romantic song ever was The Way We Were.
Uh, see, I... I think the one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on "Who's the Boss?"
Rachel: What song was that, Pheebs?
Um, Hold Me Close, Young Tony Danza.
S3 E1The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy
[Wheel of Fortune is on Joey and Chandler's TV and "_ount Rushmore" is on the board]
These people are stupid. It's Count Rushmore!
You know, you should really go on this show!
[Joey can't believe Chandler is dating Janice again.]
Look, what do you want me to say?
I want you to say that you like her!
I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna... pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Thanks for trying. Oh, and by the way, there is no "Count Rushmore"!
Oh, yeah? Then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?
[Thanks to a comment by Chandler earlier, Ross is picturing his mother when Rachel dresses up in her Princess Leia costume]
I hate Chandler. The bastard ruined my life.
JJanice
So, I hear you hate me.
I didn't say "hate", I was really careful about that.
JJanice
A little birdie said something about ripping your arm off and throwing it at me.
You got "hate" from that?
S3 E2The One Where No One's Ready
[Monica, not yet dressed for Ross's event, arrives shortly before they need to leave.]
It starts at eight. We can't be late.
We could not, would not, want to wait!
How can you not be going?
Well, I'm not gonna go... so I think that will accomplish the not going.
[Joey has just walked into Monica's apartment wearing everything Chandler owns as a comeback in an argument]
That is so-not-the-opposite of taking someone's UNDERWEAR!
Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?!
AMAnswering Machine
You have two new messages.
[Laughs] What a cool job. [Answering Machine voice] "You have two new messages."
[Answering Machine voice] "Please pass the pie."
You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is: You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
Look at me - I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando!
Ugh UGH!
Phew! I tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on. I better not do any - you know - lunges!
S3 E3The One with the Jam
Monica [gives Joey a jar of jam]: Joey, this is for you. It's blackberry currant.
Aww. [tastes it] OHHHH!
Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked [holds up one hand], or, or a big tub of jam. [holds up the other hand]
[nods] Put your hands together!
What happened to your jam plan?
I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now... Babies.
Well, you're gonna need much bigger jars.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about me having a baby.
What?
Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Well, aren't you forgettin' something? What, what, what is, uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
[looking over possible sperm donors] Okay, all right, how's this? 27, Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. [Everyone looks at Joey] Oh, my God. Under personal comments: "New York Knicks rule!"
Yeah, the Knicks rule!
S3 E4The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel
Don't do that guy thing where you go all distant and mean, just so that WE'LL break up with you.
You know about that?
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