Wanna hear something weird?
Always!
Rachel and me are still married.
What?
I didn't get the annulment. We're still married. Don't tell Rachel. Okay, see you later...
S6 E1The One After Vegas
What are you guys gonna do?
Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer.
Well, I think, I think... Ross already has one.
Yeah, yeah, that guy's finally gonna be able to put in that pool.
Ha, okay...
Now, this one's free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so you get the third one for free...
Laugh it up! ...but the joke's on you... because we don't need to get divorced... okay? We're just gonna get an annulment.
An annulment?! Ross... I don't think surgery's the answer here!
S6 E2The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
I just don't want my tombstone to read, "Ross Geller: Three divorces."
Don't feel worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, "Ross Geller: Good at Marriage!" Y'know? Mine's going to say "Phoebe Buffay: Buried Alive."
We were drunk! I would've married Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!
S6 E3The One with Ross's Denial
Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies. And you know about Naked Thursdays, right?
Yeah, yeah. I think I'm gonna find my own place.
Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing, man!
Ninety percent of a woman's pheromones come out the top of her head! That's why women are shorter, so that men will fall in love when they hug them! [Ross is staring at Phoebe] Oh, come on, Ross, you're a scientist.
Thanks for coming back. Okay, there's been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists.
PRPotential roommate
Great!
Okay, now before I make my decision, I just want to make sure our personalities match, okay? So I made up a little test. Now, I'm gonna say a word, and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
PRPotential roommate
I can do that.
Okay, here we go. Pillow.
PRPotential roommate
Fight!
Very good. Okay, G.
PRPotential roommate
String?
Excellent. Okay, um, doggy.
PRPotential roommate
Kitten?
Ooh, sorry. [sends her out the door] So close though, bye-bye!
S6 E4The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance
She didn't tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not going to waste a whole another hour there! I mean, I've only got a week left, you know? I've really got to start living now! [Picks up a car magazine and reads it]
Probably a residual check. Can you open it? I got... [shows his hands tied with string]
Benefits lapsed.
That's weird. I don't remember being in a movie called "Benefits Lapsed."
[chuckles] It's not a check. They are saying your health insurance expired cause... you didn't work enough last year.
What? Let me see that. Oh no! This sucks. When I had health insurance I could... catch on fire, you know or get hit by a bus. Now I gotta be careful?
I know what you mean, man, there's never a good time to stop... catching on fire.
Well, I guess I am gonna go get a job, I'll see ya later.
Ok, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
[mocking] Make sure you look both ways before you cross the street. [turns and walks into the door]
So, my reading was wrong - I'm not gonna die!
How do you know?
Because my psychic's dead! She must have read it wrong.
Oh, Pheebs, I'm sorry.
Hey, better her than me. Ooh! Let's bake cookies!
S6 E5The One with Joey's Porsche
Ross, just for my own peace of mind -- you're not married to any more of us, are you?
JJudge
Okay, you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Yes, your honor, and here are... are forms, all filled out.
JJudge
So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Fine, I'm mentally unstable.
JJudge
And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
What?!
Uh, yes, heroin and crack.
Crack isn't even an intravenous drug!
Well, you would know.
JJudge
Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Oh, come on!
Ross, please, I found the magazines!
JJudge
And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin...
Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche?
PBPasser-by
Maybe because you've got the keys?
Oh. Look who it is – my husband, the apple of my eye.
I wonder what age it is that you stop being able to put both legs behind your head.
Oh, I can still do that.
How are you still single?
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