Friends quotes

613 total quotes

Chandler: Batman is so much cooler than James Bond.
Monica: What? 007 has all those gadgets.
Chandler: Batman has a utility belt.
Monica: 007 has a fancy car.
Chandler: Batman has the Batmobile.
Monica: 007 gets all the ladies.
Chandler: Batman has Robin.

Chandler: From now on it's gonna be the four of you guys and me and the Mrs. Little Woman. Wife. The old ball and chain.
Monica: Old ?
Chandler: Young hot ball and chain.

Chandler: In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and won!
Chandler: Ross came in fourth and cried!
Ross: Hey!! I welled up!
[Monica is laughing hard]
Ross: You find that funny? Maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets!
Monica: I already told him everything! You shush!
Ross: Once, Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewellery box she made!
Monica: Ross used to stay home every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Monica couldn't tell time till she was 13!
Monica: It's hard for some people!!
Chandler: Of course it is! [secretly backs off and mouths 'whoa']
Monica: Chandler once wore my underwear to work!
Chandler: HEY!!
Monica: I'm sorry! I couldn't think of any more for Ross!
Ross: In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm!
Chandler: That was you!
Ross: Whatever, dude! You kissed a guy!

Chandler: You have had lot of sex right ?
Joey: Today ? Some, not a lot.

Fireman: We found your firealarm in trash.
Phoebe: It's not mine.
Fireman: Yes, it is.
Phoebe: How do you know ?
Fireman: If you dump a firealarm next time, don't use a blanket that says "Property of Phoebe Buffay, Not Monica."

Frannie: Monica? What, what are you...?
Monica: What am I doing here? You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me? Why? Why wouldn't you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done? Stuart!
Frannie: I believe you know my husband.
Ross: So it's really a question of who could you have possibly done.

Joey: "Why God, why are You doing this to us?!?"

Joey: [watching a discussion between Monica and a neighbor] Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Chandler: Maybe. Isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Monica: [still talking to the woman] All right, I'll do it just this once! But you can't tell anybody!
Woman: [exasperated] Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, that's her.

Joey: Hey, Pheebs, check it out. [Shows Phoebe he's wearing a lacy women's thong]
Phoebe: Hmm, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.

Joey: It was awkward. We were both nervous.
Phoebe: Didn't you sleep together ?
Joey: Yeah.. That really calms me down..

Joey: Look at this clown. Just 'cause he got a bigger boat, he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way, jackass! Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coast is way over there.

Joey: Man.. I'm starving. What was I thinking at dinner ? "Do you want soup or salad?" Both.. Always order both..

Joey: Oh my.. How much do you weigh, Ross ?
Ross: I prefer not to answer that, as I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.

Joey: So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and --
Monica: What is DOOL?
Joey: Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, you're not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!
All: Oh!
Chandler: That's great!
Joey: And -- and -- and not only that, I'm gettin' a new brain!
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!

Joey: The question, Rachel, is this: does he like you? Otherwise, it's just a moo point.
Rachel:Uh, Joe -- a moo point?
Joey: You know, like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him too long, or did all that just make sense?