[Phoebe finds something in her can of soda.]
A thumb?
Ewwww!
I know, I know. I opened it up, and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker.
Maybe it's a contest, you know, like, "collect all five."
S1 E3The One with the Thumb
S1 E4The One with George Stephanopoulos
Hey Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Probably kill myself.
Excuse me?
Hey, if little Joey's dead, then I've got no reason to live.
Joey, omnipotent.
You are? I'm so sorry.
[Rachel opens her first paycheck.]
Isn't this exciting! I earned this! I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally... not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money?
Phoebe?
Hmm?
Who is George Snuffleupagus?
He's Big Bird's friend. [laughs]
S1 E5The One with the East German Laundry Detergent
It's amazing, okay? You just reach in there, there's just one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right? As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
We can? All right, I'm trying that.
You know what blows my mind? Women can see breast whenever they want, you just look down and they are there! How you get any work done is beyond me.
You know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things and, like, not even care.
[Long Pause]
... Multiple Orgasms!
[Chandler and Phoebe both get ready to break up with their significant others.]
This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.
It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
[Ross draws his laundry detergent]
What is that?
Überweiss! It's new, it's German, it's Extra tough
S1 E6The One with the Butt
[The gang watches Joey's performance in Freud!, a local musical.]
[in a German accent]Well, Eva, we've doon some excellent work here, and I would have to say, your problem is qviiite clear.
[singing]
All you want is a dinkle,
What you envy's a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang!
What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
I couldn't do it.
Good for you, Joey.
When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
S1 E7The One with the Blackout
PPhoebe
[singing]
New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour :: But to me it is not scary
'Cause I stay away from dairy.
You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.
JGJill Goodacre
[gives him a strange look and a stick of gum]
[thinking] Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
[All sitting around coffee table talking about their "weirdest place"]
Come on, someone go.
OK, I'll go, Senior year of college on a pool table.
That's my sister.
OK, my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.
Oh my God. What were YOU doing in a library?
Phoebs, what about you?
Oh um... Milwaukee.
Um... Ross?
Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All'. The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Ooh, Rachel.
Oh come on, I already went.
You did not go.
All right... the weirdest place, would have to be... oh... the foot of the bed.
Step back...
We have a winner!
S1 E8The One Where Nana Dies Twice
[after being told by everyone he makes a gay first impression even though he said "be vague about it"] So... what is it about me?
I don't know....You...you have a quality.
EEveryone
Yeah. Absolutely. A quality.
Oh, oh, a quality! Good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
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