Rachel Green quotes from Friends

Monica

[to Chandler] All right, I'm gonna show you something a lot of guys don't know. Rach, hand me that pad please.[starts to draw]

Chandler

Well, you don't have to draw an actual woma-- whoa, she's hot.

Monica

Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones, you got one, two, three... four... five... six and seven.

Chandler

There are seven?

Rachel

Let me see that. Oh. Yep.

Chandler

[points] That's one?

Monica

Kind of an important one.

Chandler

Oh, you know what? I was looking at it upside down.

Rachel

Well, you know, sometimes that helps. [Chandler gapes.]

Monica

All right. Now most guys will hit one, two, three and then go to seven and set up camp.

Chandler

And that's bad?

Rachel

Well, if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Matterhorn.

Chandler

Well, you might, if it were anything like seven.

Monica

All right. Uh, the important thing is to take your time. You want to hit them all and you want to mix them up. Keep them on their toes.

Rachel

Oooooo, toes! [Chandler stares.] For some people!

Monica

All right. You could start out with a little one, a two, a one two three, a three, a five, a four, a three two, two, a two four six, a two four six, four, two, two, four seven, five seven, six seven, [starts shouting] seven. Seven seven SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN [leans back in ecstasy with eyes closed and holds up the number seven]... And there you are.

Rachel

Yeah, that'll work.

Ross

What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?

Joey

Big Fat Goalie.

Ross

Correct. [A stung Monica reacts] Rachel claims this is her favourite movie.

Chandler

Dangerous Liaisons.

Ross

Correct. Her actual favourite is-

Joey

Weekend at Bernie's!

Ross

Correct. [Rachel gasps] In which part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14? [Chandler thinks, then whispers in Ross's ear] Eww, no!! [Monica winces] Her ear! Monica categorises her towels. How many categories are there?

Joey

Everyday-use.

Chandler

Fancy.

Joey

Guest.

Chandler

Fancy Guest.

Ross

Two seconds.

Joey

Eleven?!

Ross

[clicking time]Eleven. Unbelievable. Eleven is correct. All right, that's four for the guys. Ladies, you're up. [The teams trade places, doing the double-fist bumps to each other] Thirty seconds on the clock. Five correct questions wins the game. The lightning round begins...now. What is Joey's favorite food?

Monica

Sandwiches.

Ross

Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?

Rachel

Fourteen?

Ross

No, nineteen.

Chandler

Thanks, man.

Ross

Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was...

Monica

Maurice.

Ross

Correct. His profession was...

Rachel

Space cowboy.

Ross

Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job?

Rachel

Oh, gosh! Does it have something to do with numbers?

Monica

And processing.

Rachel

And he carries a briefcase.

Ross

Ten seconds. You need this or you lose the game.

Monica

It has something to do with transponding.

Rachel

Oh, oh! He's a transponds...transponster!

Monica

That's not even a word! I can get this! I can get this... [Ross clicks time--they've lost the apartment] NO!!!

Joey

OK, for next time, what do you say?

Rachel

I have an extra ticket, an extra ticket, not two tickets. I have an extra ticket.

Ross

So the first time you asked a guy out he turned you down?

Rachel

He didn't turn me down. He's at the game isn't he? I got the date, I'm just not on it.

Chandler

I'm getting my nails done. You said it was going to be fun [Looks his fingers] which kind of it is..

Chandler

You said there would be guys. There are no guys .

Rachel

There is one right there

Chandler

That's a mail man.. That's our mail man.....

Rachel

Drive Phoebe to hospital if she goes into labor.

Monica

You don't have a car.. And your license expired .

Rachel

[Cries] There's so much to do and I have so less time .

Rachel

[to the passenger across the aisle] So then I realised, all the stuff that I had been doing-proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding-was all a way of trying to tell him...

[waking up, irritated] OH, OH, OH, OH!! I'm sorry, can I interrupt? I just want to say that you are a horrible, horrible person!!

Rachel

[surprised] Pardon me?

You say you love this man, and yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life! I have to agree with your friend 'Pheebs'! This is a terrible, terrible plan!

Rachel

But he has to know how I feel!

Why? He loves this Emily person! No good can come of this!

Rachel

I think you're wrong!

[sarcastically] Oh, no! [puts his fist in his mouth and is about to put on his headphones] And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you WERE on a break! [Rachel gasps]

Rachel

No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.

Ross

Same difference.

Rachel

Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.

Phoebe

Oh, no. I did that for someone once. I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.

Monica

I'll do it!

Ross

I'm just going to wander around in the rain.

Rachel

Uhh... it's not raining.

Ross

I can't catch a break!

Rachel

Monica? You're gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.

Joey

Oh, my!

Rachel

They're male nurses.

Joey

Not in my head.

[pointing at Joey and Ross] Now, which one of you is the father?

Phoebe

Oh no, neither of them are the father. The father is my brother.

Okaaay.

Rachel

I am so gonna miss seeing you freak people out like that.

Monica

We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!

Rachel

It was, like, this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!

Monica

And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!

Joey

Uhh, like, dark hair, bushy beard?

Rachel

Yeah!

Joey

Yeah, you fogged Danny.

Rachel

Please! We did not fog Danny!... Who's Danny?

Rachel

No, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna be screwed up for a long time. And besides, you know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.

Monica

Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married.

Rachel

You know what we should do? We should play that game where everybody says what they're thankful for.

Joey

Oh. I should be thankful for the wonderful fall we've been having.

YEAH.

Joey

I remember one day I was at the bus stop and this cool fall breeze came blowing out of nowhere and totally lifted this chick's skirt. Oh. And I'm also thankful for thongs.

Monica

Danny, you know Rachel? She's nice. She's not bad to look at, right?

Rachel

Thanks, Mon.

Well, of course.

Monica

Do you want to go out on a date with her?

Rachel

Monica!

Absolutely! Is Friday okay?

Monica

Friday's perfect. She can't wait.

[to Monica] On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly?