Fanboy[notices some slime on the floor] Huh? Look, Chum Chum, slime! [looks at it through a magnifying glass] Come on, secret phrase. Show yourself. [The slime shapes itself to read "I DON'T KNOW"] Oh! Even the slime doesn't know!
What if we zoom in and enhance? [pulls out a bigger magnifying glass to zoom closer on the slime, revealing the Nickelodeon logo on the letter O in "KNOW"]
Fanboy
"Copyright Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Nickelodeon". That's it! If we can't get the slime to come to us, then we'll go to the place where the slime was born. [he and Chum Chum put on star-shaped sunglasses]
BBoth
Hollywood, California! [a background of Hollywood lowers behind them, then collapses]
But, Fanboy, how are we gonna get there? [removes his sunglasses]
Fanboy
[removes his sunglasses] Good question, Chum Chum. I don't… [brief pause as slime dangles above him until…] We'll take the plane.
[A fedora lands on Fanboy's head as the plane flies off. A map shows the duo flying to Hollywood with a trail of red lines behind them. The plane flies around wildly as they arrive at Hollywood while screaming. In live-action, Fanboy and Chum Chum, still in animation, crashland in Nickelodeon Studios. The security guard, Don Newhouse, faces them]
DNDon Newhouse
Beautiful Slime Day. I.D.?
Fanboy
[stands up as he dusts himself] It's nice to meet you, D. I, Fanboy.
[pops out of Fanboy's head] And I, Chum Chum.
DNDon Newhouse
[as the boys enter the building] Watch your head.
[Inside, the boys approach a door labeled "President"]
Fanboy
Nickelodeon President. [cracks his knuckles] I know how to get his attention.
[In his office, the Nickelodeon President, a man with a big mustache, talks on a yellow telephone]
PPresident
[laughing; on the phone] I love it! I love it! [as the camera zooms in on his face] But you can't do that on television!
Fanboy
[kicks the door open] Say hello to my friend. [shows Chum Chum, who is small, to the President] Chum Chum.
Fanboy
I'm Fanboy.
[Fanboy and Chum Chum listen to the Tomb of Kingboy story on the tape recorders]
FNFemale Narrator
Welcome to the audio tour of: The Tomb of Kingboy. [Fanboy and Chum Chum nod] Many years ago, there lived a young boy king -- Kingboy. He was tall and handsome and not the least bit annoying.
Fanboy
[commenting on Kingboy, who looks like him] Boy, they had some flat heads back then!
FNFemale Narrator
In those days, there lived a merchant named Lenses. He was known across the land for his grumpy temperament and terrible customer service.
LLenses
Here's your stupid- uh I mean... [kneels down] Oh, royal Kingboy, here is the beverage you requested.
KKingboy
Ooh! A Sandy Salty Slurp! [drinks his Sandy Salty Slurp, burps and throws the cup in Lenses' face] Oh, Lenses, Would you pull my finger? [holds up his finger and giggles]
KKingboy
[pokes him in the nose] How 'bout now?
KKingboy
[pokes him again] How 'bout now?
KKingboy
[serious] Lenses, I am your king!
[Lenses growls and pulls Kingboy's finger, gets covered in flies as Kingboy laughs]
Fanboy
I like that king! He's funny!
[Kingboy continues laughing and hits Lenses on the head with his staff]
FNFemale Narrator
Lenses grew tired of the king's hilarious antics, and he hatched an evil plan. Please press 12 if you wish to hear Lenses' evil plan. [Fanboy and Chum Chum do so] So, Lenses locked Kingboy in a pyramid. Lenses gloated about his cleverness, but his actions did not sit well with the ancient god, Chumnubis. Chumnubis cast a powerful curse on Lenses, that turned him into dust, so that he would be a nuisance to all for the rest of eternity! We hope you've enjoyed this audio tour of the Tomb of Kingboy. Please stop by our gift shop as you exit the Tomb.
FCFanboy and Chum Chum
Gift shop!
[They belly-bonk, giggle and exit]
If this bus keeps a-rockin', I'm comin' a-knockin'!
EEverybody
[gasps] Lunch Lady Cram?!
Lunch Lady Cram is my sister. [puts on her bus driver hat] I'm Bus Lady Cram!
Fanboy
Oh, yeah, you both have the same pretty snarl.
[seeing what they believe is the Glop Monster]
Urrrrr!! It's gonna grab us, and spin us around, and then swallow us in its fiery mouth!
We're gonna travel through its pitch-black gullet, tortured by the screams of our companions!
Fanboy
And just when we think it's done with us, it's gonna spit us out, THEN SUCK US BACK IN!!!
[Dollar-nator has hid himself, camouflaged as the Chimp Chomp machine]
Fanboy
Dollar-nator, you missed your chance.
Looks like we're gonna have to bring him out of his shell.
Fanboy
Uh-huh-huh!
[The Robo-mance song starts]
[after Fanboy screams from the sugar the third time]
Uh...Fanboy? I think you might have a toothache.
Fanboy
A toothache? [sarcastic laugh] Oh, impossible. I brush my teeth all the time! Every tooth, every day.
Fanboy
Except for Toothy. Oh ho ho, he hates to be brushed. See? Ahh... [reveals a tooth in his lower left jaw which is dirty and broken, revealed to be "Toothy"]
Oh...goh...I think you'd better go to the dentist! [sees a fly land on "Toothy" and holds nose] And maybe an exterminator!
Fanboy
Oh, no! No dentist is coming near these pearly whites! And this charcoal grey.
But, Dr. Plaqula is fun! He has the best toys...
[Fanboy rolls his eyes and stares at Chum Chum with a "not interested" expression on his face]
...and the awesome-est free toothbrushes. And at the end, you get a lollipop!
Fanboy
Already got one! It's been stuck in Toothy for years. Ah... [reveals a lollipop stuck next to "Toothy"]
AHHH! [Points To The wanted Poster Of The Burgle Brats] The burgle Brats!
MMurphy
So, You've Heard of us? good! Now, Keep your hands up, and your mouths shut, and Nobody Will Need to change Their Diapers!
I Can't Put My Hands Up! I'm Almost at the record!
Fanboy
[Points To Boog] Boog, Keep Playing! [Points To Dollarnator] Dollarnator, Keep Filming! [To Chum Chum] Come on, mad-dog, we're on!
[Holds a pacifier] I'm Getting too old for this.
Fanboy
[after he drank the potion] Ta-da! [Chum Chum gasps] Huh? Huh?
Uh, maybe you need some more whoopee cushion air?
Fanboy
[turns around and realizes his face is still normal] Hmm. That's weird. The potion should’ve taken effect by now. [stomach gurgles; screams as his limbs start shaking and jumps into the air, beams of light shoot out of his hands, feet, and mouth]
[Fanboy lands on his desk and gasps; then Fanboy with a kooky face jumps off and guffaws] It's… It's… amazing!
[After Kyle takes F&C to his mountain]
Kyle, thank you so much for saving us from that mob!
Yes, well I had to ensure they wouldn't get their hands on that...WINNING CUP! Which I shall pluck from your ashes, once I char you...with the FIRES OF RAGNAR!!! [laughs evilly]
Fanboy
Seems a bit over-the-top...why don't we just share?
We can share the prize! Then, you can give Ragnar back his fireball.
Oh, thank you. That's quite nice of -- Wait a minute! NO! Kyle the Conjurer doesn't share! He SUMMONS THE FIRES OF RAGNAR...and TAKES.
Fanboy
Ooh, ooh, ohh! Let's just all write our names on the cup! That way, we can officially split, 50/50/50!
Well...okay. But you two have the knack for taking the fun out of everything. Oh-ho-ho, I see what you're trying to do! You wrapped the winning cup with a contract, written in invisible ink. And if I sign, I'll have no memory of the cup. And I'll probably be poofed out of existence. Heh. SO if anyone is going to execute a devious plot, it will be me: Kyle the Conjurer! Mark my words, this isn't over! I'LL BE BACK! [briefly disappears] Wait, this is my mountain. You go.
[Kyle zaps F&C, making them disappear]
[after the game is turned on]
Congratulations on your purchase of my latest und greatest Merchan-dazzle: Sigmund ze Sorcerer's Vizard Challenge!
FCFanboy and Chum Chum
Whoa!
Ugh, even his hologram is insufferable!
Fanboy
Me!, Oh he picked me!
Are you ready for ze ultimate video game challenge?
Fanboy
Yes!, My life's work has led to this moment.
Zhen, enter your vizard name.
[the boys have finished logging in]
Fandalf! Gorlock! Pyle the Insignificant, choose your controllers!
[Fanboy and Chum Chum see two black glove controllers with attached wands]
FCFanboy and Chum Chum
Awesome!
Wait, What -- what about me? Where's my controller?
Vands are for vizards! You will be the shoe.
Oh, Milkweed. Your forgotten son has returned-- [something falls and bounced on his head, landing on his hands] What the elf is this?
Fanboy
[when the lights turn on, showing they returned back to reality] Ooh!, It's a board game!
Milkweed Academy: The Home Game.
You mean I've been busting my shoe just to win a stupid game for children?!
Fanboy
Not just for children!, Fun for ages 8 to 888.
[slamming the board game on the floor] THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
[suddenly on orb hologram] But Kyle, you didn't foolishly think that playing a video game vould get you into ze most exclusive school in the universe, did you?
Yes, that is what your ambiguous marketing led me to -- wait. How did you know my name?
Hmm, how indeed Kyle?, Could be zat I am not the hologram, but rather ze real Sigmund surrounded by a glowly spell? Oh, Kyle. It seems zat you vill never learn! [Sigmund Laughs, Suddenly freezes and grunting] Vait!, Vhy am I not able to move ze limbs?!
Fanboy & Chum Chum · 198 quotes
