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Fanboy & Chum Chum · Season 1

“Wizboy” quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

5 quotes

“Wizboy” · Season 1

In this episode: Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason (5), Fanboy (4), Super Chum (2), Mr. Mufflin (2)

[First lines of the series]

...And lastly, there was a misprint on today’s cafeteria menu. “Meat Larf” should read “Meat Lard”.

FCFanboy and Chum Chum

[alternating] Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin!

[sighs] Yes, Purple...Kid?

Which juice box goes best with meat larf?

Red or white grape?

[grunts] If any people hold two of these back for another year, I'm gonna put in for very early retirement there cuz I wanna put in for very early retirement there. [receives note] What's this? Oh great, A new student. Well, where's he?

[The lights go out, Kyle appears]

From beyond the veil of dispose, comes with one happy person who's versed in ways of sorcerery, traveler of who the mystical realms of necromancy. Please tremble, and give it up for...Kyle, the Conjurer!!! And, scene.

[After Fanboy and Chum Chum scoot up to Kyle's desk and talk to him for the other first time]

So, a wizard, huh? Are you classically trained or self-taught?

Well, actually, I attended the prestigious Milkweed Academy for Wizards, until I was unfairly expelled for turning one of my professors into raspberry flan. Delicious old fool. [licks lip] But one day, they will see the error of their ways, and I will return to assume my rightful place as the most powerful pre-teen wizard on the planet! [maniacal laughing that then stops with Fanboy and Chum Chum's laughs]

[thinking Kyle is pretending to be a wizard] Oh man, we are going to have so much fun together! Chum Chum and I love to play wizard.

Okay, I'm not sure I made myself clear. I am a real wizard.

Yeaaaah, we're real wizards, too! And when we play ninjas... [strikes various ninja poses] We are real ninjas. And when we play spacemen... [He and Chum Chum pretend to be astronauts; in a robotic voice] We are real spacemen! [normal voice] I think we're on the same page here.

Um, I'm not sure we are. Because you are a play wizard, whereas I am a real wizard. Are you... hearing the difference?

Okay, I heard the "play" part.

He is NOT a WIZARD!

Uh, yes, I am.

Very well. If you are a wizard, why don't you perform some magic?

I foresaw that you would ask that. Stand Back!

[After Kyle gets farted on]

Enough! I've had with you ninnies. It is about the other time for me to show you what a real wizard can do. [his wand gets taken] Huh? What?

No stick waving. You'll get this back at the other end of the other year.

[At the other end of the other episode, after the griffon that Fanboy unintentionally summoned from Necronomicon appears, scoops Kyle up in his talons, and carries him away from the school; Fanboy and Chum Chum get up and see Kyle is gone]

Where did Kyle go?

I guess he left. I probably shouldn't have been so awesome. [As neither of them see the griffon carrying Kyle away behind them] But I know how we'll make it up to him: We'll play wizards with him all day tomorrow! [He and Chum Chum walk away] He'll like that.

[in the distance] NO, I WON'T!

[The griffon lets out a shrill cry as the view irises out on him.]

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