Jo Lupo quotes from Eureka

Allison

You okay?

Jo

It's just my luck right? All the good ones are either gay, married, or robots.

Carter

[into phone] Hey, uh, Allison, it's Jack. Listen, um, people are acting a little weird and we...well, frankly you're acting a little weird. Um, but, we should really get together and sort this out before it gets any worse.

Jo

[manhandling Seth into the station] Caught him trying to burn down Fargo's house.

Carter

[still into phone] Too late.

Jo

You're no fun.

Carter

You know what'd be fun?

Jo

Ice skating!

Carter

Never mind.

Jo

Hey, what's this?

Taggart

Nothing. Gotta go. Carter needs us.

Jo

You designed a paintball battle plan?

Taggart

Give me that. You know, you are in clear violation of the paintball rules of engagement.

Jo

Me? You've got a regiment of splatter-bots ready to assault my rear flank.

Taggart

Oh, you'll know when I assault your rear flank.

Taggart

Smart mice. IQ's through the roof. Little varmints used vector formulas to keep me off their tracks.

Jo

How'd you catch them?

Taggart

Smart cheese.

Jo

Maybe it was just a one time thing. You know. Adrenaline. Heat of the moment.

Zoe

Making out with Taggart? More like a moment of insanity.

Jo

Not so loud. Look, I really need some outside perspective here. Please?

Zoe

You want perspective?

Jo

Uh-huh.

Zoe

You hooked up with a guy whose age difference with you is the same as me and my dad.

Jo

(Looks over at Taggart. Taggart waves. Jo waves back.) That did it.

Carter

Taggart said the combustion was caused by meson particles coming from a solar flare. I'm no astrophysicist but I don't think there are a lot of solar flares inside a house.

Henry

He's right.

Jo

Really?

Carter

Could you not act so surprised?

Carter

Do we have any suspects yet?

Jo

No, unless you count this long list of people around here who find Fargo as annoying as we do.

Fargo

Hey! That's not true... oh yes it is.

Carter

Joesefina Ballerina.

Jo Lupo

I will taser you.

Zane

Obsession with firearms can be a sign of unfulfilled sexual appetite. I'm not saying that's you, but if it is, I'm at your service.

Zane

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Carter

Jo, Jo, Jo! Don't shoot the prisoner. Don't.

Jo

How about I just wing him?

Jo

Okay, what do you mean, they're stupid?

Carter

I mean, stupid. Like, like [acts 'stupid'] stupid. Stupid.

Jo

Carter, you can't catch stupid.

Zane

This may be my favorite conversation of all time.

Carter

How you feeling? You feel dumb?

Jo

No. You?

Zane

How could you tell? [Carter and Jo both nonchalantly zap him] OW! Gah!

Jo

What was taken?

Polyethylene glycol.

Carter

[sarcastically] Ah, let me guess: permanent sunblock, instant cavity filler?

[confused] We keep those up front.

Lucas

You're not shallow, you just haven't explored your depth.

Jo

Oh no, no, no... No exploring on my watch.

Zane

Wow. If all church girls look like you, I might consider converting.

Jo

Well, you should join me sometime and find out.

Zane

Oh, I would, but I'm allergic, I'd have to get a new inhaler, it'd be a whole thing.