Henry Deacon quotes from Eureka

Henry

I'm leaving Eureka, because I'm tired of watching noble ideas being turned into weapons, and here we are, here we are at the mercy of a weapon that had been turned into a noble idea.

Henry

[starting wedding ceremony] Love is timeless, transcending everything we know, everything we understand, and giving us strength and comfort forever. What is past is now present, and what is present will become your future. That is what love is, never ending.

Carter

How long've you been in the tow business?

Henry Deacon

Oh, I don't do this for a living, I do this for fun! I just always liked fixing things. I was, uh, an engineer, back in the day.

Carter

As in trains?

Henry

Space shuttles.

Carter

Tell me Henry, you're a scientist, do you believe in ghosts?

Henry

Well, I believe in energy. When somebody dies, that energy has to go somewhere. So, theoretically I suppose it's possible.

Carter

Henry, You don't believe in aliens, do you?

Henry

No, I believe in Occam's Razor. It’s the basis for methodological reductionism.

Carter

... Oh, Yeah. So... still dizzy...

Henry

Okay, so, given two equally predictive theories, you choose the one that has fewer assumptions. So, a tree falls after a storm. The first hypothesis holds that the tree was blown over by the storm. The second - rival hypothesis - claims that the storm forced an alien spaceship to cash into the tree. See?

Carter

Y-no.

Carter

This ion beam thingy, that is what, exactly?

Henry

Irradiated uranium isotopes.

Fargo

Oh God!

Carter

Oh death ray. Why didn't you just say "death ray"?

Henry

I searched your entire database and there's not one single record of silos or irradiated isotopes or ionosphere particles.

Carter

Did you try "death ray"?

Carter

Okay, let’s say someone literally is speed-freaking. Uh, what signs would I look for?

Henry

Besides running at 600 miles an hour?

Henry

Fargo turns a relic of war into something beautiful and life affirming and then gets chastised, because it's actually trying to help us avert disaster.

Stark

He got chastised, because it's holding us hostage!

Henry

There's not much tissue left but I can run a DNA sample and get an ID.

Carter

Nah, I know who it is. It's, ah, fat, sweaty Asian guy.

Vincent

What?!

Allison

Carter!

Carter

I'm being descriptive - if I knew his name, I'd use it!

Carter

Taggart said the combustion was caused by meson particles coming from a solar flare. I'm no astrophysicist but I don't think there are a lot of solar flares inside a house.

Henry

He's right.

Jo

Really?

Carter

Could you not act so surprised?

It is an incredibly dangerous confluence of meteorological events.

Carter

Uh...

Henry

A perfect storm.

Carter

Thank you.

A spinning cyclone of instability, high up in the cryosphere.

Henry

Ice funnel of death.

Carter

Gotcha. Why don't you people just say "ice funnel of death"?

Henry

No, but nearly all the recorded data in Nevada was erased: Tapes in video stores, floppy disks in casinos, half the database of Area 51.

Carter

Area 51 is real?

Henry

[shakes head yes] No.

Henry

Did you talk to Jack today?

Stark

Couldn't avoid it. I did get to crush a childhood memory, so it wasn't all bad.

Henry

Besides, extracting AL26 from moon rocks would require a highly sophisticated process, you’d have to be especially trained...

Carter

You mean like, like everyone in town?

Henry

Gotcha. I'll check it out.

Carter

Bottom line: if Reverend Harper is responsible, we're in for a lot more.

Henry

[sarcastically] Yeah, like a plague of locusts, or fiery hail, or or total darkness.

Carter

You had to say it!