Tess quotes from Eureka

Tess

Good news? Good news? The building is about to fall down! I broke a building!

Tess

If we can feel each other, how can we be dead? And, and why aren't there any other dead people around here besides us? Huh?

Carter

How do you know there aren't?

Tess

Hey! Calling all dead people! Club meeting in the rotunda! See?

Tess

You're smarter than you dress.

Carter

Yeah... What?

Carter

Red Sox fan?

Tess

How do you think I learned statistics?

Carter

That's the only math I ever passed.

Tess

Well, the only math regular people need.

I believe she just insulted you sheriff.

Carter

Ah, that's okay.

Tess

We were hoping you could help persuade them using your amiable Andy Griffith charm.

Carter

You know what? You have the unique ability to make a compliment sound insulting.

Tess

Who said that was a compliment?

Carter

[about the blob] I should be able to handle a mindless eating machine.

Allison

[glaring] You looked at me again.

Carter

Oh, no. The- No, no, I was the... you're pretty.

Tess

Ooh, nice save.

Tess

(eating pizza) Stakeouts are fun.

Carter

They're, they're more fun with, um, pepperoni, than with, uh, organic tofu medley.

Tess

You mean, thank you for the pizza?

Carter

That is a thank you for the pizza.

Tess

Mm, you want anything else? Um, I've got a protein bar, juice box... (gasps) Funyons!

Carter

(laughing) You always eat this much?

Tess

You always this smooth with the ladies?

Carter

... Yeah.

Allison

Tess, is your bio-lab up and running?

Tess

Oh, yeah, but I was expecting a little more E.T., and a little less Henry's ex-girlfriend.

Tess

Oldest story in the world. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy meets computer.

Carter

Well, everybody needs a hand to hold.

Tess

This is a really weird town. But I like it. Kinda.

Zane

What's that?

Taggart

It's her first day, trying to keep her in a positive frame of mind. (Tess thumbs-up back)

Zane

Oh. That's nice of you. Is it working?

Taggart

Yeah, I think so.

Tess

(on other side of glass, cheerfully) We are so screwed.

So get this, Mom was late this morning, and I didn't get to make it to Dre's, and I mean she's always on me about being late! Maybe now she'll realize that time is a relativistic construct and ease up!

Tess

(laughing) Yeah, I wouldn't count on it.