Zane Donovan quotes from Eureka

Zane

There's only one thing I want from you, Jojo. A sandwich.

Zane

Please don't let me die in this crap town.

Zane

Don't you look at me in that tone of voice.

Zane

Anything else you want while I'm in there? Launch codes? Defense plans? TARDIS blueprints?

Zane

(instructing Jo) Drop and give me 50 harmonic issolations... Cupcake.

Zane

[while being arrested] Excellent response time. You guys take Lake Street?

Went up by Lincoln Park. Less traffic.

Carter

[about the price of Zane] Whoa! Twenty-five thousand for this guy?

Zane

[to Allison] For thirty, I'll throw in dinner and a movie. But it won't go past second base. I'm not that kind of boy.

Zane

Obsession with firearms can be a sign of unfulfilled sexual appetite. I'm not saying that's you, but if it is, I'm at your service.

Zane

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Carter

Jo, Jo, Jo! Don't shoot the prisoner. Don't.

Jo

How about I just wing him?

Stark

This the new kid?

Zane

Who you calling kid, Spartacus?

Stark

Ooh, cocky, I like him.

Carter

You would.

Zane

I'm not eating that.

Carter

What? It's chicken.

Zane

Do you know how chickens are raised?

Carter

Aw, don't, just let me enjoy my meal.

Zane

Jammed together in a windowless warehouse, wading in feces until [slices hand across throat] they get decapitated, or pecked to death. [cheerfully] When you eat that chicken, you're eating all that hate.

Zane

Aw, c'mon, I have to sleep in here?

Carter

At least you're not wading in your own feces. GD has an apartment for you, but you're a criminal, and you don't deserve it.

Zane

You may think I'm a criminal, but my mom loves me and she wouldn't appreciate you insulting her boy.

Jo

Okay, what do you mean, they're stupid?

Carter

I mean, stupid. Like, like [acts 'stupid'] stupid. Stupid.

Jo

Carter, you can't catch stupid.

Zane

This may be my favorite conversation of all time.

Carter

How you feeling? You feel dumb?

Jo

No. You?

Zane

How could you tell? [Carter and Jo both nonchalantly zap him] OW! Gah!

Carter

You vacationed here when you were ten. Figured it's off the main roads, place to hide out for a couple days first.

Zane

Well, I guess my FBI file's more detailed than I thought.

Carter

Not in your file.

Zane

Well, then that computer of yours must have an amazing predictive algorithm.

Carter

Didn't use the computer. I called your mother.

Zane

[starts laughing, then abruptly stops when he realizes Carter is serious] You called my mother?

Zane

What's the project status?

Allison

Ah, well, everyone at GD wants to get their hands on the data.

Zane

Big Bang whores, every one of 'em.

Zane

Wow. If all church girls look like you, I might consider converting.

Jo

Well, you should join me sometime and find out.

Zane

Oh, I would, but I'm allergic, I'd have to get a new inhaler, it'd be a whole thing.