Ed Stevens quotes from Ed

Ed

If you think parading two goons in fifteen hundred dollar suits is enough to intimidate me, then you are being stunningly foolish.

Ed

[to Carol] Let me cut to the chase: your boyfriend's an ass. Fry?

Ed

[to Mike, describing his moment with Carol] That was a movie kiss, a movie kiss my friend! I was Humphrey Bogart and Cary Grant rolled up into one.

Ed

[about Carol] I kissed her, right? Plant the ole seeds of doubt? She fought it all summer and now she can't fight no mo'.

Ed

I'm going to proceed to pummel Mike with my bare fists till the soul rises from his body, then I'm going to grab his soul by the neck and start giving it open handed slaps-

Ed

[To the prosecutor]]' The judge ordered you to get me those files by yesterday morning and it's now today morning!

Ed

[to Frankie] The relationships that you struggle with never work out in the long run. The ones that work, just plain work.

Ed

[on his version of ebonics, in his dream] I'm just a white guy from Ohio, I'm doing the best I can here.

Ed

[to Mike, as hecontemplates buying a "how to" guide] I'm sure you're simply a fantastic lover.

Ed

[on Carol's intentions] She just wants to bat me around like a kitty cat with a half dead mouse.

Ed

[to Carol, as she is moving in] Welcome to my humble abode... or as the plains Indians would say, my humble adobe.

Ed

If dreams are safe, then they're not really dreams, are they? They're plans.

Ed

[to Carol] I might not always agree with you, but I will always be with you and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out.

Ed

'[about Carol's ex] Every time I picture this guy in my head, he's taking on a new superpower.

Ed

[to Carol] We're a couple, but we can have a past.