Ever the gentleman, McDuck! [punches Scrooge, sending him into a stack of rugs] Consider your treasure hunt officially F.O.W.L.'ed up! [knocks the kids off their feet with her cyborg arm; into her earpiece] Agents, I have Top Hat distracted. Find that sword!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[The kids split up into three groups of two in order to retrieve the three pieces of the Sword of Swanstantine around the Istanbird marketplace before the F.O.W.L. agents do while Scrooge battles Black Heron]
Okay, if we wanna find the sword piece we're after, we can't do anything to alert F.O.W.L.
[to every person] You, sword? Looking for a sword! Looking for a sword here! Do you have a sword?!
Or we can blindly ask every person we see. According to Finch's journal, our piece of the sword resides in the "Heavens."
Aw, how am I gonna get to heaven when legends live forever?
We have to rely on our inner strengths. Keen observation. [she and Dewey look up and spot the Sword's Handle in the grip of the statue of Swanstantine the Great at the very top of a building; gasps] Oh, there it is!
[sees Gandra Dee, who's making her way to get there first] Oh! We could follow that F.O.W.L. lady and beat her to it.
[gasps] Agent Dee! Okay, okay, no problem. We can use those platforms to figure out a way up there first.
[calling out] Hear that, tech-head?! Prepare to get Control-Alt-Dew-leted!
As long as she doesn't realize we're here.
Oh, this is a heck of a predicament. [analyzes the two kids] On one hand, I don't wanna hurt you two, but in my other hand, I have a flash bomb. [throws the flash bomb at them, causing them to be temporarily blinded]
Uh, Webs?!
Dewey?!
I… I can't see anything!
It's a flash bomb! It should wear off in a few minutes.
We don't have a few minutes!
[Louie and Violet enter the Spice-a-torium to get the Sword's Guard piece and come across John D. Rockerduck]
Ah, Cristoph, old friend, hello!
Cristoph?
I'm looking to spruce up the decor in my torture dungeon and I heard you were in possession of Swanstantine's Sword Guard.
CCristoph
Oh, dear, Serpent, you've put me in such a pickle. I don't want to incur your wrath, but I also want this man's 50 pounds of gold.
[exiting the bathroom] All right, Condiment Duke, or whatever you call yourself, John D. Rockerduck shall have his guard! What's this hullabaloo?
F.O.W.L. beat us here?! You had to stop for that liver kabob.
I don't have to tell you what happened to the King of Si-Ham when he crossed me.
CCristoph
I'm sorry, mein freund, but the Silver-Tongued Serpent demands the Guard, and he's not to be displeased.
[laughs] Silver-Tongued what? He's a mere child, a drooling, blabbering, buttercup. And I'm me, the heir apparent of the Rockerduck fortune, ruthless rustler, and the greatest land baron of the American West… In America!
CCristoph
Well, it seems we will settle this the way we settle all feuds.
EEveryone
Spice-Off!
Lads, lasses, where are ya?
We got the Handle!
We got the Guard!
And we got the Blade!
Ahh, I knew you could foil those feculent F.O.W.L. agents!
I beg to differ.
SSteelbeek
Your Bazaar adventure is over. Get it? "Bazaar?" Ho-ho-ho, man! I gotta try stand up!
[closes his beak, shutting him up] Quiet! My patience is up. [walks over to the kids] Hand over the Sword pieces.
[to Huey] Come on, man! Duke it up again!
[on the phone with Bradford Buzzard] Mr. Director, mission accomplished. [holds up one of Webby's duck feathers] We got what we came here for.
Oh, boy! Jackpot! Wait, it's just an old dime. Oh, new pick.
[takes back the dime and reads a letter from his sister, Hortense] "Dear Scrooge, I am sending your angel niece and nephew, Della and Donald, to stay with you while their father is in the hospital. A giant firecracker exploded under his chair. The little darlings are so playful. I hope you enjoy them. Your sister, Hortense." [crumples up the letter and throws it in the trash can Duckworth's holding] I am a multi-billionaire businessman, not a babysitter. I do not have time for this!
Same old grouchy uncle. Today's gonna be a total bummer.
No way! Uncle Scrooge toppled the Colossus of the Nile. He discovered the Treasure of the Ten Avatars. So what crazy fun adventure do we have on deck for today?
I do not adventure.
I'm looking at a big room of gold that says different.
My expeditions were grueling, treacherous, and only served to build my company and my fortune. Nothing fun about them. These days, I've left all that behind to focus on a new kind of conquest… Corporate conquest.
Oh.
Oh, what a rush. We got them!
That was terrible.
That was classic.
Why did we reveal ourselves?! We could have landed the plane safely, captured them. I--
Embrace your wild side, Bradford. We're supervillains.
No, we are not. Your showboating is going to cost us the papyrus.
Please, there is no way that Scrooge and his brats are going to survive the… [the plane flys and lands past them]
YDYoung Della and Donald
We're alive! Yay!
Ugh, let's move.
Fenton! I'm sorry to interrupt…whatever you were doing, but I was searching the docks and found a piece of Agent Dee's clothing embedded with nanites!
Agent Dee, you say.
If we can reverse-engineer their signal, it could lead us right to her! Hey, what are you working on?
Oh, nothing. It's really not at all revolutionary or earth-shattering or even a little brilliant.
Did you create a virtual reality cloud space?! With thought-based environmental manipulation? Can I see it? Please, please, please?!
I'd love to. You can only access it through a VR helmet. The Gizmo helmet only responds to me. Ahh, if only I… [Manny comes in with a cart of VR helmets and foot-taps: "Here are those extra VR helmets you asked for."; sarcastically] Thank you, Manny. How convenient. No, Huey, stop! You don't understand!
[Huey puts on the VR headset and is teleported into the Gizmocloud]
Woah. Amazing! Incredible!
What the…?
F.O.W.L.?! Ahh! [grabs and throws a beaker at her but she dissolves it, waving her hand]
[beams in] Gandra Dee? How did you get in here… a place we've never been in together… villain?
Ugh, you are such a bad liar.
He was lying? Wait, Fenton, are you... working for Gandra Dee?!
No, not working for, working with.
But she's a F.O.W.L. agent! Are you a F.O.W.L. agent?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?! [Gandra summons a weighted blanket, covering him] What's this?! Some evil F.O.W.L. trap?!
No, it's a weighted blanket. It helps with anxiety.
Well, it can't stop ME from being ANXIOUS! I... I... curses, I'm totally relaxed now.
[turns to Fenton] I can't believe you let someone in!
It was an accident. But, he's not gonna judge us. Huey, Gandra and I have been working on the Gizmocloud in secret. Together.
[sits up as the weighted blanket lifts off his body] But, she's an evil cyborg.
Yeah, this kid seems real judgement-free. [sighs deeply] My whole life, I've tried to push the boundaries of science. But that means people don't always get what you're doing. Super-science can be dangerous. It's why I ended up having to experiment on myself. And why the only people who would fund my work are villains who don't care how much destruction I cause.
But what if there was a lab where you could perform any experiment with no chance of anyone getting hurt?
No one gets hurt because it's all virtual.
If you have an idea, you can make a gizmo! We could share it for free. Bring super-science to the world.
No. [gazes at Gandra] You attacked us. You stole stuff for F.O.W.L.
I've been tipping Fenton off to stop me before I do. I'm using their resources to build this place. Once it's done, I can quit F.O.W.L. for good.
We're so close to finishing, but the lab keeps glitching.
No! Please! Huey made me do this! [runs away] Do not arrest me!
Louie!
Red nephew? Red nephew? [gasps] Green nephew! [Huey presses the button, closing the doors] No, no, no!
Sorry.
Why do I keep going in this closet?!
Hello, Agent Dee.
Director Buzzard. I…
I hear you were considering leaving F.O.W.L.
Yes, that's right. I'm not scared of what people think anymore. I've got something better going on now, and that doesn't include F.O.W.L.
But I'm afraid your request is denied. [snaps his fingers, summoning some Egghead soldiers and they grab hold of her] And for using precious F.O.W.L. resources to build your little "cloud," I'll be docking you two weeks pay. Oh, and locking you up indefinitely. Take her to the Lost Library!
[as the Egghead soldiers take her away] What?! What library?!
You have your secrets, Agent Dee. And I have mine. [smirks evilly]
DDaisy
Ah, looks like I win.
Well, dag! Guess you hit the jackpot, too, Don.
Donald, allow me to bequeath you a bon voyage gift. May it help you pick up tiny items on your journey.
Journey?
DDaisy
Oh, he must be confused.
[covers Fethry's mouth; sweating nervously] Crazy Cousin Fethry.
Oh, so you're not leaving with your lady love to sail the ocean blue? And it won't just be the two of you on the houseboat, far away from your family which I'm not supposed to tell Dell--
Uh, what? You're leaving?
Gyro?
Hat nephew?
Huey?
Gandra? What's going on here?!
LLudwig
Bradford's Grand Plan.
Ludwig Von Drake? Impossible! You were ancient in the 60s. How are you not dead?
LLudwig
Well, between being captured and that Bradford forcing me to carry out his evil will, I was getting so busy, that I never got around to it.
Woah-woah-woah-woah-woah. What do you mean "evil will?" Bradford is just studying artifacts. It's what any Junior Woodchuck would do.
LLudwig
Ho-ho! Bradford wasn't just the first Woodchuck, he was the worst Woodchuck. He hated and couldn't stand adventuring with his granny-mama! He wants to get rid of it entirely altogether.
Bradford harnessed the Solego Circuit to create a dimensional void. It erases things from reality forever!
Do you know what this means? Bradford is collecting artifacts because he wants to rid the world of anything adventurous!
And he's not just getting rid of artifacts.
He's gonna erase my family! I GOTTA WARN EVERYONE! [runs off but bumps into Bradford]
What a disappointment.
Look what you've made me into! A base villain!
The Sword of Swanstantine amplifies who you are inside!
This is all you, ya buzzard!
Bradford, your contract is FLAWED!
What?! Impossible! I've worked on it for thirty years! Went over with the finest toothcombs!
According to this, Scrooge can be with his family as long as he doesn't adventure.
But family is the GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL!
That's... the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There's no way that-- [the Papyrus promptly disintegrates the contract] No NO! [he is drained of his power] I will not lose to Scrooge!
You didn't lose to me. You lost to my family. ALL of them!
[The McDuck family are joined by their allies, and Bradford crawls backwards in fear, only to find himself at the feet of Scrooge's other enemies]
Really? And you're supposed to be Scrooge's greatest villain?
He's not even wearin' a kilt!
Please, no! I'm not a villain!
No, you certainly are not.
[Magica turns Bradford into a non-anthropomorphic vulture and directs him to fly to her arm, and she and the villains depart]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's DuckTales (2017) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.