Gyro Gearloose quotes from DuckTales (2017)

Gyro

All right, let's finish this and go-- [notices Huey, B.O.Y.D. and Fenton have gone] HEY! [angry] INTERN!!!!!!

Bradford

[after Gyro interrupts a business meeting] I'm sorry, but we-

Gyro

Apology accepted, now try to keep up with my mind-numbing genius.

Scrooge

Gyro, what did we say about interacting with other people?

Gyro

[scoffs] The cards. Fine. [takes out index cards and begins reading] "Hello, Mr. McDuck... and others. Are you tired of all those single-use gadgets cluttering up your junk drawer? What a mess! There's got to be a better way!" [pulls out a small robot] Meet Lil' Bulb. A tiny, all-purpose robot that does it all.

Bradford

Wait, what does it do?

Gyro

It. All. Lil' Bulb is an artificially intelligent personal robot helper. He can make toast, find your keys, serve as a book light for your late-night reading. You'll never have to do anything yourself again.

Bradford

Mmhmm. And how will you ensure this one won't achieve sentience and turn evil like all the others?

Gyro

Only half my inventions turn evil. The other half are just wildly misunderstood.

Louie

[catches up with Gyro at the elevator; out of breath] Hey, Gyro Gearloose!

Gyro

If this is about the Gearloose Magnetic Backpack, I specifically said they should not be used as school bags. Blathering Blatherskite, one teen gets stuck to a moving school bus. [starts pushing a button]

Louie

No, no, no, no, no. Louie Duck, Scrooge's super-rich nephew.

Gyro

[releases the button with his finger and the elevator door opens] Keep talking, sir.

Louie

I can't believe Scrooge and that tired old board of his didn't see the potential in Lil' Bulb here. I'd love to invest, but I'm gonna need to test this little guy out first. Do you mind if I borrow him for the afternoon?

Gyro

Anything you say, rich nephew. Lil' Bulb, you be good. Don't you rise up against your masters.

Scrooge

You cannot get rid of the Bin. You may think they're crackpots and weirdos, but they're the ones who push innovation and creativity, and spur this company ever forward.

Gyro

Just a little malfunction! Definitely not evil!

Scrooge

Look, they're all mad as loons, and if you fire them, they're definitely going to seek revenge.

Gyro

Intern, try to think.

Fenton Crackshell

But that's all I do all the time.

Gyro

Well, do it better.

Launchpad

Eh, you probably couldn't fit a driver in that tiny train anyway. Uh, say, speaking of drivers…

Scrooge

Gyro, the board needs results. Ever since Bulb Tech backfired, you need an invention that, well…

Dewey

Won't turn evil and kill us all.

Gyro

Due respect, sir, innovation doesn't work that way. I can't just wake up one morning and say…

Dewey

How about a self-driving robot car?

Launchpad

A what now?

Gyro

Too many variables. A self driving robot car would turn evil like that. Nobody could…

Dewey

Well, Mark Beaks did. He just posted that he's having a demo later today.

Gyro

What?! That hack couldn't even program a microwave. We'll see about this.

Launchpad

Okay, cool. I'll just tell you my big news later.

Scrooge

Launchpad, I almost forgot.

Launchpad

Yeah?

Scrooge

Stop having mail delivered to my office. That's for incoming checks and death threats only.

Gyro

[calling for Fenton] Dummy! There's some dummies here to see you.

Fenton

At your beck and call, Dr. Gearloose. I heard everything. [notices Manny] Everything. I'm happy to prove my worth by aiding Mr. McQuack.

Scrooge

Impressive display, Beaks. You have really built something here.

Gyro

Or did he?! [pops up from behind a standee of himself] I couldn't be sure until I saw how it performed under pressure. The precision, the deadly grace. Oh, yes, I've seen it before. Ha ha! Beaks Tech is actually Bulb Tech! That's how he beat me to the punch! He stole my technology! [to a police officer standee] Officer, arrest this man!

Scrooge

Is this true?

Beaks

Of course not. I didn't steal it from him. I stole it from a public online forum, then "Beaks'd" it up.

Gyro

How would one of my inventions end up online? [gazes at Fenton and gasps]

Fenton

[examines Lil' Bulb; amazed] Oh, wow!

Gyro

[sharped with anger] You!

Fenton

You circumvented the kill switch. Why didn't anyone else on the message board figure that out?

Gyro

[furiously] You posted my top-secret plans on the INTERNET?!?!

Fenton

You were having so much trouble keeping your inventions from turning evil, so I, turned to the Net to crowd-source a solution? [smiles sheepishly]

Beaks

[as B.U.D.D.Y. goes haywire] Oh, we need a logic puzzle to fry its circuits! Uh, robot! What is love?

Gearloose

That's stupid! Robot, could I invent an element so heavy even I couldn't lift it?

Beaks

Ha. I definitely could.

Gearloose

No, you couldn't!

Gyro

You're gonna overload the core processor and kill us all!

Gizmoduck

Oh, I'd say that's overkill.

Initiating overkill.

Fenton

Dr. Gearloose?

Gyro

Intern.

Fenton

Can we have a word?

Gyro

Oh, here's two: leave now. Nothing can distract me--

Dr. Gearloose?

Gyro

[gasps and exclaims] Where did you get that thing?!

I haven't seen you since... I can't remember.

Gyro

Manny, get this dangerous machine out of my lab!

Huey

You know my friend, B.O.Y.D.?

Gyro

"B.O.Y.D.?" What idiot called it that? Its name is 2-B.O. And, yes, I know all about it. It is not your friend, it is not a boy. It is a failed experiment. I helped build 2-B.O years ago in Tokyolk, when I was just a lowly intern for the infamous Dr. Akita.

Huey

Aren't you overreacting? Look at him. He's a kid like me. Just wired a little differently. Besides, dozens of your inventions have tried to kill us, and you always say they're "wildly misunderstood."

Gyro

I understand 2-B.O. all too well. Don't get too close to it.

Gyro

Remember, no one can know we're here. We have to remain discreet.

Gearloose!

Gyro

Oh, no. Hide 2-B.O. Ah, Inspector Tezuka. Konnichiwa. What are you doing in Tokyolk-- [Tezuka grabs hold of him] Ow!

Keeping it safe from evil robots. You got a lot of nerve showing your mech-loving mug around here.

Gyro

We both know I was cleared of those crimes. Ow!

Huey

Crimes?

But your mentor, Dr. Akita, wasn't. So where are you hiding him?!

Gyro

I haven't seen Akita since he disappeared.

Huey

What is all this?

Gyro

It was Tokyolk's most advance research lab. This is where 2-B.O. was built.

Fenton

And where Dr. Gyro Gearloose was born! Was this your lab coat? Was this your stool? Was this your Trinocular Inverted Metallurgical Microscope? [gets dust in his eye] Ah! Dust in my eye! The dust of genius!

Gyro

All right, knock it off, intern.

Fenton

Huey, step away from B.O.Y.D. You don't know what he's capable of.

Huey

Sure, I do. He just saved me with his rocket feet.

Gyro

And that is the problem. His weapon systems are back online. We wait any longer and the city is doomed.

Huey

[breaks up the argument] Stop trying to make B.O.Y.D. something he's not. He didn't glitch once while we were having fun. He was just being a kid.

Dr. Gearloose, please, I'm a definitely real boy. Why can't you see that?

Gyro

[sighs] Because deep down, you're this. [hands B.O.Y.D. the tablet with a recorded video] This is 2-B.O.'s core memory. Dr. Akita and I invented 2-B.O. to be the city's prime defense robot, but during the test run, 2-B.O. lost control and attacked the city, until Tezuka finally took it down. 2-B.O. was the first invention I worked on that turned evil, and I have spent my whole life trying to live that down. 2-B.O., B.O.Y.D., whatever, is dangerous down to its core.

But, you said you could fix me, so I'd never malfunction again.

Gyro

Yes. By shutting you down for good.

Huey

[grabs hold of Gyro's arm] B.O.Y.D., run! Get out of here!

No, not again.

Gyro

No. Not again. Save Gizmoduck. I've got to destroy 2-B.O. for good.

Huey

You can't! This is not who B.O.Y.D. is! He's a--a definitely real boy!

Gyro

It's just made to look that way! You saw its first memories! [holds up the tablet] At 2-B.O.'s core, it's a weapon!

Huey

Wait, there's more there. Hidden under all those old memories!

Young Gyro

All systems online. Welcome to the world, 2-B.O.

[turns to the reflection] Am I a real boy?

Young Gyro

Hm. Definitely. [hugs B.O.Y.D.]

No, he's not. This is a defense drone.

Young Gyro

Isn't he more than that? Yes, he's dealing with some first-time jitters, but I think--

No. Now, go prep the monitors for the field test. [turns and walk to B.O.Y.D.] 2-B.O., you are a rare breed. The ultimate weapon. Overwrite all of Gyro's "Real Boy" programming, and execute protocol World Breaker.

Gyro

[shocked gasp] That was his core, until Akita overwrote my work. 2-B.O. never had a choice. You forced him to be a weapon!

Oh, intern, 2-B.O. is, and will always be, a weapon for destruction. For power. For evil.

Gyro

Not all my inventions are evil! Some are just WIDLY misunderstood!