Huey Duck quotes from DuckTales (2017)

Huey

Junior Woodchuck Rule 727. Sometimes the bravest thing an explorer can do is walk away.

Huey

[after Zeus reveals himself] THE KING OF THE GODS?! GET OUT!!! Oh, so many questions! Do you control all storms, or just lightning? Does being immortal also make you impervious to pain? Do you cry?

Huey

The suit is not Gizmoduck, you are. That's a Robotics Badge, and a Philosophy Badge right there.

Donald

Stop helping me, and put on your life vests! What if the boat goes down while the babysitter's here?

Yes, Uncle Donald.

Donald

Where is that babysitter? [picks up his phone and calls the babysitter's number] Where are you?! What? I didn't give you a new address. [Huey and Louie smirk at each other] Well, what time can you get here?

[in the middle of nowhere] I… don't know.

Donald

[annoyed] Crazy old bird.

Donald

[annoyed when the boat's engine starts up] Where's Dewey?

Louie

Sleeping.

Huey

Who's Dewey?

Louie

[looks at him as Donald walks back to the boat] "Who's Dewey?"

Dewey

All right, boys, we'll get to Cape Suzette and back before anyone realizes we're gone. So long, Dorkburg! Hello... [notices Donald glaring at him] Uncle Donald? What... What's up?

Donald

[shoves the triplets into the back seat of the car] I can't leave you boys alone for one minute.

Dewey

You were supposed to get him out by 10:00, Hubert!

Huey

You were supposed to signal before you started the boat, Dewford!

Louie

We never get to do anything.

Donald

[sitting in the front seat and turns the rear view mirror on the triplets] Boys, if we want to keep our home afloat, [sighs deeply] we've all got to do things we don't want to do. [sets the coordinates on the car's GPS]

Destination: McDuck Manor.

Huey

McDuck Manor? As in Scrooge McDuck?

Dewey

The bajillionaire?!

Louie

You're finally gonna sell us.

Donald

I'm not gonna sell… [sighs] He owes me.

Dewey

We're gonna meet Scrooge McDuck?!

Louie

That guy's amazing!

Huey

What?!

Dewey

I heard he's so epic, he defeated a rock giant and carved a statue of himself out of its leg!

Huey

I heard he's so smart, he solved the mystery of the chupacabra. Turns out it was just a shaved bear!

Louie

I heard that he's so rich, he only hunts for treasure to swim in it!

Donald

All right, take it down a notch. It's only for a couple of hours.

Dewey

A couple of hours with the most exciting duck in the world!

Beakley

Talk to your nephews.

Scrooge

[grumbles and reads the newspaper, then lowers it when he sees his nephews staring excitedly at him; startled] So, do children still like... marbles or uh...

Huey

Are you really our uncle?

Dewey

How old are you?

Louie

What's your net worth?

Huey

What's the deal with you and Uncle Donald?

Louie

Ooh, is this fork real silver? Can I have it?

Huey

How come you never visit?

Louie

Oh, cause you're so old and moving is so hard?

Dewey

You owe us, like, a lot of birthday presents!

Louie

You used to be a big deal! Whatever happened to you?

Scrooge

[slams the newspaper on the table, losing his temper; shouting] BEAKLEY! [later, then throws them into an empty room] You are going to watch 'em. Watch 'em! Huey, Louie, the third one.

Scrooge

In the short time I've known you, you've wrecked my home and my money bin, unleashed several ancient evils, and almost got me killed. Twice.

Huey

Four times if you count each monster as an individual time.

Scrooge

Launchpad, have you ever piloted a sub before?

Launchpad

I sunk a helicopter in a wave pool once. Same thing?

Scrooge

[sigh] I've done more with less. No matter, I'm back! Unchartered territory. Bold new discoveries!

Huey

Hello, bingo! I love road trips! I've got snacks, a playlist of traditional sea chanties, matching family road trip shirts!

Scrooge

I appreciate the enthusiasm, but there's no time.

Huey

But according to the travel itinerary--

Dewey

[pops up and rips up the itinerary] Boo! Adventure isn't about planning, it's about doing!

Scrooge

Mr. McQuack, chart the course. Next stop, the lost city of Atlantis! [everybody cheers] In about 16 hours!

Huey

[pressing play on a radio] Shanty time!

Scrooge

Now Donald, don't-

Donald

Stop. I admit, I'm a little overprotective.

Louie

A little?

Donald

No matter what I do, these boys will get into trouble, so maybe you could teach them how to get out of trouble.

Huey

Uncle Donald?

Donald

It might be okay if the boys saw you every once in a while. [Huey, Dewey, and Louie cheer] Sometimes, like birthdays, or federal holidays, nothing too- [Donald's boat explodes in the distance]

Dewey

Ohhh, I may have left the engine running in the houseboat.

Scrooge

I may have a dozen or so spare bedrooms in the mansion.

Beakley

This may be Mr. McDuck's mansion, but it's my house. So... my house rules. Exhaustive. Comprehensive. Where are you going?

Donald

I got unmentionables to wash.

Beakley

Rule 58: If you need something, ask for permission first.

Donald

[to his nephews] Did you hear that, boys? Ask permission.

Beakley

Rule 23: No one is above the rules... Donald. If you had simply asked for assistance, we could've avoided what I'm referring to as the "Undergarment Incident."

Donald

I can take care of myself.

Beakley

That is not your decision to make. You live here, you answer to me.

Donald

I answer to NO ONE!

Louie

Wait, are they gonna kiss?

Eww!

Outside, now!

Huey

[double checking supplies in the boat] Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.

Webby

Hot dog costumes! [puts life vests covered in hot dogs in the boat]

Huey

I'm sorry, what?

Webby

You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Louie, goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on. Louie hates hot dogs, so he probably won't eat us.

Huey

Are you saying that Louie would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Louie

I do hate hot dogs.

Webby

Lena, this is Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

Dewey

Webby, we've been looking for you everywhere!

Lena

Cute, with the names, and the color-coded outfits, is that, like, your thing? You're all exactly the same?

[in unison] Ha! No way! We're all unique snowflakes! [beat] Well this usually never happens. This is really weird! Okay, stop talking! [beat] Antidisestablishmentarianism! SERIOUSLY?! Gah!

Huey

Seriously, Webby, where have you been? We've been worried out of our minds!

Webby

Well, uh, Lena and I...

Lena

Right, you were so worried that you left her on a beach and didn't show up for four hours?

Huey

We got lost.

Dewey

Thanks to old Captain Lost!

Louie

Why would you put me in charge of the map again?! This is not on me.

Dewey

[chanting] Captain Lost! Captain Lost!

Louie

[enraged] Ooh, you change the tone of that chant! [starts strangling Dewey as Huey tries pulling him away]

Lena

Yeah, they seem like a real tight crew.

Dewey

Oh, man, that is classic cinema!

Webby

So good!

Lena

Oh, and remember when the surgeon tried to cut the mole queen in half but then she multiplied into a million mole babies and then they ate him?! [imitates chainsaw noises and Webby makes growling sounds]

Beakley

[grabs Lena by the arm] You said this was an educational film. Suitable for all ages.

Lena

Uh, it's a cautionary tale about the dangers of mole monsters. And everyone could use a lesson on chainsaw safety.

Louie

Lame! Where was the drama, the heart, the needlessly expensive car crash mayhem?

Huey

Even if mole-men did exist, why attack someone in the shower? With the water running, there wouldn't be enough traction to attack anyone above the knee. Totally phony.

Webby

What is with you guys? It says right on the poster, "based on an actual true novel."

Huey

[pulls out his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook] This is the only book I trust. If it's not in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, then it's not a thing.

Webby

What about were-ducks?

Huey

Nope.

Webby

Tri-clopses?

Huey

Mmm, not a thing.

Webby

Well, what about the legendary Terra-firmians of Duckburg?

Huey

[sigh] Let's see... Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl, terrible twos, nope. No Terra-firmians. Must not exist.

Webby

[laughing] What? Terra-firmians, the mythical underground race that live below our very city?

Huey

No, that's ridiculous.

Webby

No, you're ridiculous.

Lena

Children, children. There's an easy way to settle this. Let's go find them ourselves.

Lena

[pushing a sign out of the way] Now what's behind here?

Webby

The old 818 train line. Famous for terra-firmian sightings. That's why it's closed off.

Huey

The signs say "Closed for renovations."

Webby

That's what they want you to think.

Huey

Who is they?

Webby

Exactly.

Huey

What?