BeakleyTalk to your nephews.
[grumbles and reads the newspaper, then lowers it when he sees his nephews staring excitedly at him; startled] So, do children still like... marbles or uh...
Are you really our uncle?
What's the deal with you and Uncle Donald?
Ooh, is this fork real silver? Can I have it?
How come you never visit?
Oh, cause you're so old and moving is so hard?
You owe us, like, a lot of birthday presents!
You used to be a big deal! Whatever happened to you?
[slams the newspaper on the table, losing his temper; shouting] BEAKLEY! [later, then throws them into an empty room] You are going to watch 'em. Watch 'em! Huey, Louie, the third one.
[as Scrooge struggles to put on an old dive suit]
Beakley
A little spring cleaning?
Maybe. Maybe not. Read this.
Beakley
Snow. On the Drake Barrier Reef.
First time in 50 years. That weather report aligns perfectly with the Papia Prophecy. A shift in currents may present a pathway to Atlantis! Lost city under the sea!
Beakley
This is because some children made fun of you, isn't it?
Nonsense. I'm no has-been, they're the has-beens. I am an am-now!
Beakley
This may be Mr. McDuck's mansion, but it's my house. So... my house rules. Exhaustive. Comprehensive. Where are you going?
I got unmentionables to wash.
Beakley
Rule 58: If you need something, ask for permission first.
[to his nephews] Did you hear that, boys? Ask permission.
Beakley
Rule 23: No one is above the rules... Donald. If you had simply asked for assistance, we could've avoided what I'm referring to as the "Undergarment Incident."
I can take care of myself.
Beakley
That is not your decision to make. You live here, you answer to me.
Wait, are they gonna kiss?
HDHuey, Dewey, & Webby
Eww!
DBDonald & Beakley
Outside, now!
[Episode starts with the Duck nephews, Webby, Lena, and Mrs. Beakley leaving the cinema after seeing a horror movie]
Oh, man, that is classic cinema!
Oh, and remember when the surgeon tried to cut the mole queen in half but then she multiplied into a million mole babies and then they ate him?! [imitates chainsaw noises and Webby makes growling sounds]
Beakley
[grabs Lena by the arm] You said this was an educational film. Suitable for all ages.
Uh, it's a cautionary tale about the dangers of mole monsters. And everyone could use a lesson on chainsaw safety.
[Launchpad is the last person to leave the cinema with a horrified look on his face and looks at the movie poster]
Lame! Where was the drama, the heart, the needlessly expensive car crash mayhem?
Even if mole-men did exist, why attack someone in the shower? With the water running, there wouldn't be enough traction to attack anyone above the knee. Totally phony.
What is with you guys? It says right on the poster, "based on an actual true novel."
[pulls out his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook] This is the only book I trust. If it's not in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, then it's not a thing.
Well, what about the legendary Terra-firmians of Duckburg?
[sigh] Let's see... Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl, terrible twos, nope. No Terra-firmians. Must not exist.
[laughing] What? Terra-firmians, the mythical underground race that live below our very city?
Children, children. There's an easy way to settle this. Let's go find them ourselves.
[when Beakley, Launchpad, Dewey, and Louie find them] Granny?
Launchpad, it's just the guys.
You would say that. [to himself] Have there always been three of them?
[nervously] I can explain.
Beakley
You're all in big trouble. [gestures to Lena] I assume this was your idea.
[scoffs] Sure, blame the mysterious rebel playing by her own rules.
Beakley
No back talk! You made me come all the way down here, drag two more children and one man-child right into danger.
Man-child? Where? [shudders] Easy, LP. Easy. One monster at a time.
Aren't you supposed to be crazy adventure family? This is like an afternoon field trip for you people.
Beakley
Well, there won't be anymore afternoon field trips for you. I can assure you that.
Hey, guys! Every year I brush up on my survivor skills on a secret island! [Beakley clears her throat] I-I mean, a regular island where young warriors definitely don't combat the forces of nature and each other. You know, it's girl stuff.
[quacking in panic] I GOTTA GO! [gets into his car and drives off]
Why is everyone running off?
Beakley
[sighs] You would figure it out sooner or later. [whispers] Today is Mr. McDuck's birthday.
[The triplets exclaim in surprise]
Okay, people, we are in crisis party planning mode! Louie, you start a guest list. Dewey…
Beakley
[interrupting] Absolutely not. Mr. McDuck has a strict no-birthday-party rule. He hates the reminder that he's…
Literally the oldest person he knows?
[Dewey bursts out, laughing, and Huey cracks a smile]
But our most epic relative deserves the most epic party ever!
Oh, I don't know. He hasn't had a good one since before his old butler, Duckworth died.
Like this stuffy old guy could beat the party I threw for the Junior Woodchuck Party Planning Committee. It was both work and play.
Beakley
[walking out the door] Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you.
[catching up] If I don't come back, tell my story!
Nah, he's gonna love it! Huey's time to shine!
[sulking as he practices for an interview] So, Roxanne. I suppose my greatest weakness is that I care too much.
Beakley
Fascinating. Well, Mr. McDuck, I can assure you that you will not come off "likable" doing any of that. Unfold those arms, drop the frown, "When dealing with the press, S.O.S." Be sincere, open, and smile.
Some find my scowl very appealing.
[Scrooge keeps guessing Donald's pantomimes correctly]
Oh, so that's why he picked Donald.
He spent 30 years guessing what Donald was saying, he must get good at non-verbal communication.
Beakley
Time!
[offended] That was a Mermanticore?! THIS is a Mermanticore!
Beakley
Mr. McDuck and Donald scored 34.
I'm sure you learned... something.
What? But I really am sorry! We hugged and everything!
I watched your brothers blink out of existence because you wanted a shortcut to riches!
You took off in that contraption without thinking about the consequences, or the people you would hurt!
[annoyed] I wonder who I got that from.
[Everyone gasps]
Beakley
See here, young man.
[holds up her hand] (Beakley, I got this.) Your little scheme to bypass the present almost cost us our future. This all stops now! You are grounded! No schemes, no treasures, and Louie Incorporated is done! Understand?!
Look, let me clean up, okay? Uncle Scrooge? Mrs. B? Come on!
[kicks the Time Tub; muttering grumpily as he walks upstairs to his bedroom] Stupid perfect scheme.
[Scrooge is trying and failing to come up with a plan to counter General Lunaris' invasion of Earth.]
RRRRGH Blasted tartar sauce!
[Camera cuts to Launchpad, Beakley and Manny across the room.]
Beakley
He's...strategizing. Everything's fine. Sure, we had an army before and now there's only an elite squad of five...
[Duckworth floats in carrying a ghostly suitcase with him.]
DDuckworth
I've decided you're doomed. My time would be better served preparing your places in the afterlife. Cheerio.
[Duckworth phases through the floor.]
Beakley
...not reassuring that he went down instead of up...
DuckTales (2017) · 345 quotes
