[yawns] Boy, this sure has been a friend-aversery thingy. You know who my best friend is?
Sleep. Come on, even Beakley fell asleep, I think?
[Beakley is snoring with her eyes open]
It's a spy thing. And yeah, it might be sleepy time.
Sleep? N-No way! It's only 4:00 A.M.! That's so early!
VioletJudging from your sunken eyes, elevated heart rate and irritability--
Violet
I'd say you're suffering from a serious lack of sleep.
Uh, yeah! Because I've been planning so many exciting activities for this party! I'll be surprised if we ever sleep again. [yawns, then chuckles] I'm gonna go splash some cold water in my face so we can party even harder! Ha-ha! [runs off to the bathroom]
KKids
[all exhausted] Yay.
[Lena and the others wake up, returning to reality]
I'm awake! I'm me again! We did it!
Violet
Wait, we should test to be certain that this isn't a dream.
That's right. We might still be dreaming. [lifts up the sleeping bag sheets; annoyed] Ugh. It's fine. Fine, we're awake. It's fine. Whatever.
[Webby, Lena and Violet, weapons in hand, approach the front door of McDuck Manor, which is being accosted by pounds and moaning. When they open the door, Gladstone Gander tumbles in.]
UNCLE SCROOGE I NEED YOU [falls to the ground]
[The girls stare at Gladstone. Violet raises her stake.]
Stand down, Violet. It's just Donald's lucky loafer of a cousin, Gladstone.
Mmmm, if he's so lucky, why is he crying?
BECAUSE THE WORLD IS BROKEN! [blows his nose on Lena's shirt] It happened last night...
[Flashback...]
I had just been given a ride by a gent who needed help breaking in his new stretch limo.
[Gladstone steps out of the limo and waves to it. Shortly afterward, he is blasted by a strange green energy beam and looks lethargic.]
I was feeling peckish and a little drained. I found myself outside an All You Can Eat shrimp buffet and I screamed with joy because I love shrimp. I strolled inside to be named the 1,000th customer and awarded a free meal, but get this: no confetti? Or balloons? I asked for food and you know what they asked for in return? PAYMENT! I opened my wallet, it was EMPTY. Not ONE twenty dollar bill conveniently flew in, either, so I had to go to a bank! But it was...closed? Did you know things could be CLOSED? So I went to the ATM around the corner and asked it for twenty dollars! And you know how much it gave me?
Violet
...Twenty dollars?
[Flashback ends.]
Yeah! Not the usual accidental sack of rubies! THAT'S when I knew something was up and I needed Uncle Scrooge to fix it!
[Gladstone paces around the area, knocking things over and almost tripping.]
I had to WALK here! It took HOURS! No one offered me a ride, no passing hang gliders scooped me up and not ONE gust of wind whimsically carried me! IS THIS WHAT LIFE IS LIKE FOR YOU PEOPLE!!?
[Gladstone falls chin first to the ground.]
OW! Why weren't there PILLOWS THERE!?
[Louie and Violet enter the Spice-a-torium to get the Sword's Guard piece and come across John D. Rockerduck]
Ah, Cristoph, old friend, hello!
Violet
Cristoph?
I'm looking to spruce up the decor in my torture dungeon and I heard you were in possession of Swanstantine's Sword Guard.
CCristoph
Oh, dear, Serpent, you've put me in such a pickle. I don't want to incur your wrath, but I also want this man's 50 pounds of gold.
[exiting the bathroom] All right, Condiment Duke, or whatever you call yourself, John D. Rockerduck shall have his guard! What's this hullabaloo?
Violet
F.O.W.L. beat us here?! You had to stop for that liver kabob.
I don't have to tell you what happened to the King of Si-Ham when he crossed me.
CCristoph
I'm sorry, mein freund, but the Silver-Tongued Serpent demands the Guard, and he's not to be displeased.
[laughs] Silver-Tongued what? He's a mere child, a drooling, blabbering, buttercup. And I'm me, the heir apparent of the Rockerduck fortune, ruthless rustler, and the greatest land baron of the American West… In America!
CCristoph
Well, it seems we will settle this the way we settle all feuds.
DuckTales (2017) · 345 quotes
