Lena Sabrewing quotes from DuckTales (2017)

Lena

That was actually pretty cool. Are you, like, in the circus?

Webby

Circus acrobats keep elephant hairs in their pockets for good luck. I don't know why I just told you that, or why I'm still talking, or why I pointed out the fact that I'm still talking, or-

Webby

Got it!

Lena

Nice. [holds up a fist]

Webby

[obviously very excited for the fist bump] Ohhhhh yeah! [bumps Lena's fist]

Lena

You wanna blow it up, don't you? [Webby nods] Psssh.

Webby

Lena, this is Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

Dewey

Webby, we've been looking for you everywhere!

Lena

Cute, with the names, and the color-coded outfits, is that, like, your thing? You're all exactly the same?

[in unison] Ha! No way! We're all unique snowflakes! [beat] Well this usually never happens. This is really weird! Okay, stop talking! [beat] Antidisestablishmentarianism! SERIOUSLY?! Gah!

Huey

Seriously, Webby, where have you been? We've been worried out of our minds!

Webby

Well, uh, Lena and I...

Lena

Right, you were so worried that you left her on a beach and didn't show up for four hours?

Huey

We got lost.

Dewey

Thanks to old Captain Lost!

Louie

Why would you put me in charge of the map again?! This is not on me.

Dewey

[chanting] Captain Lost! Captain Lost!

Louie

[enraged] Ooh, you change the tone of that chant! [starts strangling Dewey as Huey tries pulling him away]

Lena

Yeah, they seem like a real tight crew.

Dewey

Oh, man, that is classic cinema!

Webby

So good!

Lena

Oh, and remember when the surgeon tried to cut the mole queen in half but then she multiplied into a million mole babies and then they ate him?! [imitates chainsaw noises and Webby makes growling sounds]

Beakley

[grabs Lena by the arm] You said this was an educational film. Suitable for all ages.

Lena

Uh, it's a cautionary tale about the dangers of mole monsters. And everyone could use a lesson on chainsaw safety.

Louie

Lame! Where was the drama, the heart, the needlessly expensive car crash mayhem?

Huey

Even if mole-men did exist, why attack someone in the shower? With the water running, there wouldn't be enough traction to attack anyone above the knee. Totally phony.

Webby

What is with you guys? It says right on the poster, "based on an actual true novel."

Huey

[pulls out his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook] This is the only book I trust. If it's not in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, then it's not a thing.

Webby

What about were-ducks?

Huey

Nope.

Webby

Tri-clopses?

Huey

Mmm, not a thing.

Webby

Well, what about the legendary Terra-firmians of Duckburg?

Huey

[sigh] Let's see... Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl, terrible twos, nope. No Terra-firmians. Must not exist.

Webby

[laughing] What? Terra-firmians, the mythical underground race that live below our very city?

Huey

No, that's ridiculous.

Webby

No, you're ridiculous.

Lena

Children, children. There's an easy way to settle this. Let's go find them ourselves.

Lena

[pushing a sign out of the way] Now what's behind here?

Webby

The old 818 train line. Famous for terra-firmian sightings. That's why it's closed off.

Huey

The signs say "Closed for renovations."

Webby

That's what they want you to think.

Huey

Who is they?

Webby

Exactly.

Huey

What?

Webby

[takes out and opens her diary] The Terra-firmians are an ancient race built of two warring tribes. The Terries and the Firmies. They were once united under a proud king. After the king's untimely death, an epic battle began over who would assume control. But one day, the rightful prince will reunite the two tribes and put an end to their bitter conflict.

Huey

And what's that?

Webby

Oh, just a drawing of a candy I wish they made. Webbi-dings.

Lena

And that?

Webby

Me as a superhero. Look, can we just focus on all the exciting stuff I just said?

Webby

[when Beakley, Launchpad, Dewey, and Louie find them] Granny?

Launchpad

Ahhhhh! Those are moles!

Dewey

Launchpad, it's just the guys.

Launchpad

You would say that. [to himself] Have there always been three of them?

Webby

[nervously] I can explain.

Beakley

You're all in big trouble. [gestures to Lena] I assume this was your idea.

Lena

[scoffs] Sure, blame the mysterious rebel playing by her own rules.

Beakley

No back talk! You made me come all the way down here, drag two more children and one man-child right into danger.

Launchpad

Man-child? Where? [shudders] Easy, LP. Easy. One monster at a time.

Lena

Aren't you supposed to be crazy adventure family? This is like an afternoon field trip for you people.

Beakley

Well, there won't be anymore afternoon field trips for you. I can assure you that.

Magica De Spell

Ha ha! I would never have thought to feed Scrooge's family to the Hunter Stone before it ushers about his destruction. Well done Lena!

Lena

Next time you give me an amulet that turns into a monster, I'd appreciate a little heads up.

Magica

Uh, that monster has a name. Show Tiffany some respect!

Webby

Lena, I've found something. According to this, to stop an enchanted force, you must remove its power source, or beat it with a stronger magical totem. We can use our friendship bracelets! Friendship is the greatest magic of all!

Lena

That's... not how magic works.

Webby

What were you doing in Scrooge's room?

Lena

[shines the light on Webby] What were you doing there?

Webby

Oh, nothing. Definitely not collecting drool samples while he sleeps. [an empty vial rolls across the floor]

Scrooge

[seeing Lena and Webby in the Other Bin] What the blazes are you two doing in here?!

Webby

[realizing Scrooge kept his Dime in the first vault] Oh, of course! The Number One Dime was in the number one chamber. Duh!

Scrooge

No one thinks to check the first one. But you shouldn't be checking at all! The Other Bin is far too dangerous.

Lena

It's on me. We wanted to see your dime, and we overheard you were keeping it in here, and...

Webby

Sorry, Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge

You should know by now that if you want to know something, all you have to do is ask. Be straight with me, lassie. What if you were lost, or hurt, or eaten by the dragon?

Webby

[hugs Scrooge] Aw man, there's a dragon in here?

Magica

[in Lena's body] Big day, Magica, real big day. The eclipse is at hand, my plan is flawless! [retches and exits Lena's body]

Lena

Let me go!

Magica

Oh, that's right. I forgot you were here.

Lena

I won't let you do this!

Magica

Yeah, uh-huh, oh except at the moment of the eclipse, my powers will finally unleash, and I'll be an invincible juggernaut of DARK MAGIC! So, you know...

Uh, how long has your housekeeping staff been gone?

Scrooge

[in his dirty underwear] Three days. So how are my so-called "kin"? Miserable, no doubt, living on that disgusting boat. I'm obviously doing much better than they are. [spots a possum under a pizza box] Pesky possum! Keeps eating my anchovies! [chases it with a broom]

Scrooge

Sweet, playful marbles. Three to a bag. Red, green, and that rascal blue marble, always rolling whichever way it wants... and ungrateful the lot of them at every turn! After all I did for them, and they just throw it in my face!

Yeah, there's nothing worse than marbles. Tea?

Scrooge

I'm talking about family.

Ugh, tell me about it. They disobey you, run you ragged, don't follow through on elaborate revenge plots...

Scrooge

They spend your money, take over your home, cause trouble, worm their way into your head with fond memories that you cannae get out, no matter how hard you try!

Cheers to ridding fond memories!

Scrooge

[sits on a throne of pizza boxes] And then they leave without as much as a "thank you"!

Forget family. Who needs 'em?

Scrooge

I'll drink to that! [about to drink Magica's potion, only for a box to fall on his head and cause him to spill it]

Of all the idiotic- I mean, I'll go make you another.

Scrooge

You wee tenebrous traitor. We welcomed you into our home, only to have you unleash this repugnant beast-monger.

Lena

She's my aunt! She made me do it.

Scrooge

Hmmm. Family! Good for nothing! Left me completely vulnerable to this.

Lena

Please. Magica only got in here because you threw your family out. My family's good for nothing. Your family is amazing. You fight, and get into trouble, but it doesn't matter, because you, I don't know, love each other or something. Dude, I wish I had your family.

Scrooge

... You're right lass. Help me get my family back, and you'll have a place in it. We're all stronger together. Ready?

Lena

I'll see what I can do.