Donald Duck quotes from DuckTales (2017)

Donald

Go save your uncle. I'll keep these palookas at bay!

Donald

Everything is not fine.

Donald

Stop helping me, and put on your life vests! What if the boat goes down while the babysitter's here?

Yes, Uncle Donald.

Donald

Where is that babysitter? [picks up his phone and calls the babysitter's number] Where are you?! What? I didn't give you a new address. [Huey and Louie smirk at each other] Well, what time can you get here?

[in the middle of nowhere] I… don't know.

Donald

[annoyed] Crazy old bird.

Donald

[annoyed when the boat's engine starts up] Where's Dewey?

Louie

Sleeping.

Huey

Who's Dewey?

Louie

[looks at him as Donald walks back to the boat] "Who's Dewey?"

Dewey

All right, boys, we'll get to Cape Suzette and back before anyone realizes we're gone. So long, Dorkburg! Hello... [notices Donald glaring at him] Uncle Donald? What... What's up?

Donald

[shoves the triplets into the back seat of the car] I can't leave you boys alone for one minute.

Dewey

You were supposed to get him out by 10:00, Hubert!

Huey

You were supposed to signal before you started the boat, Dewford!

Louie

We never get to do anything.

Donald

[sitting in the front seat and turns the rear view mirror on the triplets] Boys, if we want to keep our home afloat, [sighs deeply] we've all got to do things we don't want to do. [sets the coordinates on the car's GPS]

Destination: McDuck Manor.

Huey

McDuck Manor? As in Scrooge McDuck?

Dewey

The bajillionaire?!

Louie

You're finally gonna sell us.

Donald

I'm not gonna sell… [sighs] He owes me.

Dewey

We're gonna meet Scrooge McDuck?!

Louie

That guy's amazing!

Huey

What?!

Dewey

I heard he's so epic, he defeated a rock giant and carved a statue of himself out of its leg!

Huey

I heard he's so smart, he solved the mystery of the chupacabra. Turns out it was just a shaved bear!

Louie

I heard that he's so rich, he only hunts for treasure to swim in it!

Donald

All right, take it down a notch. It's only for a couple of hours.

Dewey

A couple of hours with the most exciting duck in the world!

Glomgold

You're here because you're the best of the cheapest. With your help and my carefully crafted master plan, we'll find the fabled lost Jewel of Atlantis and finally make me the richest duck in the world! [laughs evilly] But first, here are your company IDs, also good for 40% off life vest rental in case of emergency. Gabby McStabberson. [Gabby comes up and takes her ID] Hack and Slash Smashnikov. [the Smashnikov brothers come up and take theirs] Donald Duck. Duck? Duck?!

Donald

Now remember, bedtime is at 9:00. And no sugar after 7:00. Oh, and…

Scrooge

I run a multi-trillion dollar business. I can handle a few juveniles for the weekend. You just focus on this new job of yours. Besides, I got a pretty low key day planned.

Donald

[showing the Smashnikov brothers some photos on his phone] Ah, little Dewey's first steps. And that's Huey in the playoffs. He was the water boy. [turns to Gabby] Oh look, that's us climbing the Grand Canyon, display at the supermarket. [laughs] I miss them so much, but we need this job. So, tell me about your family.

I was raised by warrior monks who spoke only the language of the blade.

Donald

[nervously] Uh-huh.

We've got intruders!

Donald

Scrooge?! What is he doing here?

Glomgold

Strange weather patterns in a mysterious location near treasure. I knew he couldn't resist. Hack, triangulate their sub's course. We'll tail Scrooge, and steal the jewel out from under him.

Donald

The boys?! Wait 'til I get my hands on- [angry squawking] I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

Glomgold

Oh, better idea! Nab the jewel, and kill them all. Somebody's angling for employee of the month.

Donald

I knew it! I knew I couldn't trust you with the boys!

Scrooge

Not the time, Donald.

Donald

Crazy old man, all you care about is your next adventure! This is the Spear of Selene all over again!

Scrooge

I was not responsible for the Spear of Selene!

Scrooge

Now Donald, don't-

Donald

Stop. I admit, I'm a little overprotective.

Louie

A little?

Donald

No matter what I do, these boys will get into trouble, so maybe you could teach them how to get out of trouble.

Huey

Uncle Donald?

Donald

It might be okay if the boys saw you every once in a while. [Huey, Dewey, and Louie cheer] Sometimes, like birthdays, or federal holidays, nothing too- [Donald's boat explodes in the distance]

Dewey

Ohhh, I may have left the engine running in the houseboat.

Scrooge

I may have a dozen or so spare bedrooms in the mansion.

Donald

Um, ocupado!

Scrooge

House meeting, now!

Beakley

This may be Mr. McDuck's mansion, but it's my house. So... my house rules. Exhaustive. Comprehensive. Where are you going?

Donald

I got unmentionables to wash.

Beakley

Rule 58: If you need something, ask for permission first.

Donald

[to his nephews] Did you hear that, boys? Ask permission.

Beakley

Rule 23: No one is above the rules... Donald. If you had simply asked for assistance, we could've avoided what I'm referring to as the "Undergarment Incident."

Donald

I can take care of myself.

Beakley

That is not your decision to make. You live here, you answer to me.

Donald

I answer to NO ONE!

Louie

Wait, are they gonna kiss?

Eww!

Outside, now!

Louie

I can't believe Uncle Gladstone is here!

Huey

He's so charming.

Dewey

And funny.

Louie

He's like the luckiest guy in the world. Uncle Donald, you must have had the best time growing up with him.

Donald

[sulking with jealousy] He's the worst. Just the worst.

Scrooge

Gladstone Gander is a complete layabout. I don't know why we're responding to his call.

Webby

It was a call for help.

Huey

And like Uncle Donald says, "Family always helps family."

Donald

Why did I say that?

Louie

Plus, he's easily our coolest uncle.

Donald

[offended] Hey!

Louie

Sorry, coolest non-trillionaire uncle.

Huey

Hey, come on, Uncle Donald is kinda cool.

Donald

[trying to guess how many fingers someone is holding up] Twenty-seven! Twenty-seven! TWENTY-SEVEN!

Louie

Ugh, give it up, Uncle Donald. Please.

Gladstone

No, no, no. Let it ride. You're about to-

TWO?! We have a winner! Congratulations, you won a brand-new Thunderclutch sports car.

Gladstone

Great, this is the second car I've won for-

Four?! You win again!

[trapping the Scrooge, and the Ducks in a lightning cage] You're not going anywhere.

Whoo!

Ah, phooey.

Dewey

What's all this?

Webby

Hey, guys! Every year I brush up on my survivor skills on a secret island! [Beakley clears her throat] I-I mean, a regular island where young warriors definitely don't combat the forces of nature and each other. You know, it's girl stuff.

Donald

[quacking in panic] I GOTTA GO! [gets into his car and drives off]

Huey

Why is everyone running off?

Beakley

[sighs] You would figure it out sooner or later. [whispers] Today is Mr. McDuck's birthday.

Huey

Okay, people, we are in crisis party planning mode! Louie, you start a guest list. Dewey…

Beakley

[interrupting] Absolutely not. Mr. McDuck has a strict no-birthday-party rule. He hates the reminder that he's…

Louie

Literally the oldest person he knows?

Huey

But our most epic relative deserves the most epic party ever!

Webby

Oh, I don't know. He hasn't had a good one since before his old butler, Duckworth died.

Huey

Like this stuffy old guy could beat the party I threw for the Junior Woodchuck Party Planning Committee. It was both work and play.

Beakley

[walking out the door] Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Webby

[catching up] If I don't come back, tell my story!

Huey

Nah, he's gonna love it! Huey's time to shine!

Huey

Come on, Uncle Donald! You can fix the houseboat when we get back.

Donald

Uh-uh. I'm almost done. We'll be on the water again in two days!

Donald

Seven days...

Donald

[sighs] I should get started...

Dewey

No rush!