[Scrooge is trying and failing to come up with a plan to counter General Lunaris' invasion of Earth.]
ScroogeRRRRGH Blasted tartar sauce!
[Camera cuts to Launchpad, Beakley and Manny across the room.]
He's...strategizing. Everything's fine. Sure, we had an army before and now there's only an elite squad of five...
[Duckworth floats in carrying a ghostly suitcase with him.]
DDuckworth
I've decided you're doomed. My time would be better served preparing your places in the afterlife. Cheerio.
[Duckworth phases through the floor.]
...not reassuring that he went down instead of up...
[Glomgold leads a crowd to cheer his name after one of his cockamamie schemes actually assists in fending off the invasion.]
I did it! I DEFEATED SCROOGE MCDUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
Scrooge
We were on the SAME TEAM!
Scrooge
Would you knock it off with the song?!
Wait, that song. Is that the Tittertwill Bird of Knowledge?!
The whobada bird of what now?
The legendary mascot of the Woodchucks! Descended from the personal pet of Isabella Finch herself!
It wasn't distracting us. It was guiding us to Finch's treasure!
Scrooge
I cannae believe it. The last treasure of Isabella Finch!
It was under our noses this whole time!
SSrooge
It's more precious than I ever could've imagined.
The treasure is a book?! Boo!
Scrooge
It's Finch's Lost Adventure Journal! It contains all the adventures she had, advice she left for future generations.
She really did have the answer to everything.
Scrooge
Or almost everything...
The Missing Mysteries? This is a list of legends Finch never found! The Stone of What Was! The Lost Harp of Mervana! The Third Eye Diamond! This could help us find the greatest lost mysteries of all time!
Scrooge
Now that is an adventure. What do ya say, family?
HDHuey, Dewey, Louie, Webby & Della
Yeah!
[The mosquito that's been bothering Donald throughout the entire episode is soon revealed to be a robot spy controlled by F.O.W.L.]
The ducks found the journal.
Access to the most mysterious relics lost to time.
Mervana! A shining civilization, until its people disappeared... into the sea! Never to be found again. Until now! Solving the clues in Isabella Finch's journal, we'll finally able to find one of her legendary Missing Mysteries: The Lost Harp of Mervana!
[raising his hand] Doesn't Uncle Scrooge usually make the long winded treasure speeches?
Scrooge
Long winded?!
Scrooge
This is Huey's quest. We're all here to support him. Well, go ahead lad.
Scrooge
Lads, lasses, where are ya?
Scrooge
Ahh, I knew you could foil those feculent F.O.W.L. agents!
SSteelbeek
Your Bazaar adventure is over. Get it? "Bazaar?" Ho-ho-ho, man! I gotta try stand up!
[closes his beak, shutting him up] Quiet! My patience is up. [walks over to the kids] Hand over the Sword pieces.
[to Huey] Come on, man! Duke it up again!
Oh, boy! Jackpot! Wait, it's just an old dime. Oh, new pick.
Scrooge
[takes back the dime and reads a letter from his sister, Hortense] "Dear Scrooge, I am sending your angel niece and nephew, Della and Donald, to stay with you while their father is in the hospital. A giant firecracker exploded under his chair. The little darlings are so playful. I hope you enjoy them. Your sister, Hortense." [crumples up the letter and throws it in the trash can Duckworth's holding] I am a multi-billionaire businessman, not a babysitter. I do not have time for this!
Same old grouchy uncle. Today's gonna be a total bummer.
No way! Uncle Scrooge toppled the Colossus of the Nile. He discovered the Treasure of the Ten Avatars. So what crazy fun adventure do we have on deck for today?
Scrooge
I do not adventure.
I'm looking at a big room of gold that says different.
Scrooge
My expeditions were grueling, treacherous, and only served to build my company and my fortune. Nothing fun about them. These days, I've left all that behind to focus on a new kind of conquest… Corporate conquest.
Bradford, your contract is FLAWED!
What?! Impossible! I've worked on it for thirty years! Went over with the finest toothcombs!
According to this, Scrooge can be with his family as long as he doesn't adventure.
But family is the GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL!
That's... the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There's no way that-- [the Papyrus promptly disintegrates the contract] No NO! [he is drained of his power] I will not lose to Scrooge!
Scrooge
You didn't lose to me. You lost to my family. ALL of them!
[The McDuck family are joined by their allies, and Bradford crawls backwards in fear, only to find himself at the feet of Scrooge's other enemies]
Really? And you're supposed to be Scrooge's greatest villain?
He's not even wearin' a kilt!
Please, no! I'm not a villain!
No, you certainly are not.
[Magica turns Bradford into a non-anthropomorphic vulture and directs him to fly to her arm, and she and the villains depart]
DuckTales (2017) · 345 quotes
