Mark Beaks quotes from DuckTales (2017)

Beaks

Ha! I'm about to be a billionaire. And when Scrooge tries to follow me online, I'll block him!

Beaks

Crushed it! It's a hectic world, posting things online, checking to see who liked your post. Couldn't you use a little time for yourself? Couldn't you use a B.U.D.D.Y.? That's the "Beaks-Unmanned-Driver-Drone-Yay!" B.U.D.D.Y. will drive you anywhere quickly, efficiently and cheaply! B.U.D.D.Y. is compatible with any vehicle, making traditional drivers a thing of the past. The Waddle B.U.D.D.Y. system. Because machines are the new man. And hold for applause!

Beaks

Gizmoduck... I must have him!

Beaks

[answering his phone] Hey, I'm stuck on the roof. Gonna need you to send up another helicopter. [beat] Stairs?!

Mark Beaks

[interrupting a staring contest between Scrooge and Glomgold] Old guys, nice club house you've got here. Got a real "I'm so rich I don't care how I look" quality about it. Rich peeps! [takes a selfie] I'm tagging us.

Glomgold

I'm sorry, who are you?!

Beaks

Seriously? Mark Beaks? Founder and CEO of Waddle? Soon to be newest addition to the Duckburg Billionaires' Club. Come on! And creator of the newest tech innovation, Project Tah-dah! It's everything you think it is, and nothing you're expecting. I'll flip you my Peep deets so you can follow my updates.

Scrooge

I don't understand half those words.

Beaks

Whoa. Is that an ironically fancy briefcase in my super chill work environment?

Dewey

Uh, yes?

Beaks

What's going on in there? Like, brilliant business secrets?

Dewey

You know it!

Beaks

Very chill. Oh, I like how you roll! You are my new vice president of fancy business. [to Huey] Intern, you report to him now. Boom. Beaks out! [leaves]

Huey

WHAT?!

Dewey

Yes! Faked it, maked it! I didn't even know this was my life's dream until today!

Beaks

[typing on his phone] What's up over here?

Huey

Uh, we saved your life.

Beaks

Right. Hey, so obviously I have to fire you guys because you know the secret of Project Tahdah, and if you tell anybody I'll just say you're lying because you're mad I fired you. Cool? Cool-cool.

Dewey

[snatches the phone out of his hands; typing] "My face looks like a butt." And… sent.

Beaks

Seriously? That's your big plan? Who even cares about what--

Huey

It already has 1,000 likes.

Beaks

What? No, no! I can't delete it now! Give it back, give it back!

Launchpad

Can you program a robot to brave the unknown and laugh at danger?

Beaks

Yes.

Launchpad

Can a robot greet you with a kind word at the end of a long day?

Beaks

Yes.

That's a nice. Gray. Cardigan. Mr. Beaks. You are. Killing. It. Today.

Launchpad

Yeah, well, can a robot pull you from the wreckage of a crash with a reassuring smile that tells you everything's gonna be okay?

Beaks

Well, no, because it can't crash.

Launchpad

Wait, what now? I'm sorry, what was that?

Scrooge

Impressive display, Beaks. You have really built something here.

Gyro

Or did he?! [pops up from behind a standee of himself] I couldn't be sure until I saw how it performed under pressure. The precision, the deadly grace. Oh, yes, I've seen it before. Ha ha! Beaks Tech is actually Bulb Tech! That's how he beat me to the punch! He stole my technology! [to a police officer standee] Officer, arrest this man!

Scrooge

Is this true?

Beaks

Of course not. I didn't steal it from him. I stole it from a public online forum, then "Beaks'd" it up.

Gyro

How would one of my inventions end up online? [gazes at Fenton and gasps]

Fenton

[examines Lil' Bulb; amazed] Oh, wow!

Gyro

[sharped with anger] You!

Fenton

You circumvented the kill switch. Why didn't anyone else on the message board figure that out?

Gyro

[furiously] You posted my top-secret plans on the INTERNET?!?!

Fenton

You were having so much trouble keeping your inventions from turning evil, so I, turned to the Net to crowd-source a solution? [smiles sheepishly]

Beaks

[as B.U.D.D.Y. goes haywire] Oh, we need a logic puzzle to fry its circuits! Uh, robot! What is love?

Gearloose

That's stupid! Robot, could I invent an element so heavy even I couldn't lift it?

Beaks

Ha. I definitely could.

Gearloose

No, you couldn't!

Behold, my abyss box. May it rest in pieces. Someone opened it the moment before Scrooge disappeared!

Huey

Someone who hates Scrooge more than anyone.

Flintheart Glomgold!

Beaks

Hey, my rich brother from another mother!

Glomgold

Wait. How did you know it was me?

Louie

It's always you.

Glomgold

And it always will be! [evil laugh]

Huey

So you took Scrooge!

Glomgold

Took Scrooge? No, I was trying to kill Scrooge! That's like, my whole thing.

Beaks

FYI, you're terrible at your thing.

Ma Beagle

If he were ever gonna do it, he'd have to do it while Beakley's gone.

Glomgold

Ugh. I hate that woman!

Ma Beagle

Me too. She's the absolute worst.

Glomgold

You know who I miss?

Duckworth!

Ma Beagle

Aw, he threw the best parties.

Glomgold

Ooh, that man was an artist. He never would have let us in here.

Beaks

Nemeses memories! [takes a selfie with Glomgold and Ma Beagle]

Huey

Stop bonding! This is a crime scene!

Beaks

Don't kill me! I barely lived! #YOLO #FOMO #Aaaah!

Huey

The person with the best reason for getting Scrooge out of the party was Scrooge himself!

Gizmoduck

[after saving Mark Beaks from his own missile] Mr. Beaks, I am so sorry-

Beaks

Sorry? You saved me!

Gizmoduck

But the missile actually came from-

Beaks

Pfft. Come on! I have an island where I blow up helicopters for fun. It happens!

Beaks

WD, what's the word, man? I'm seeing a lot of bad reviews on the app. Talk quick, got my daily press conference in a few-

I need control! A person plummeting to their untimely death doesn't have time to open an app!

Beaks

Oh, it's possible. The WaddlePhone is super-fast.