Twinkle quotes from Dinnerladies

Bren

Twink, what's the soup?

Twinkle

Minestrone

Bren

Why didn't you put it on the menu?

Twinkle

Can't spell it!

Twinkle

We're off clubbing! Have a great night, oldies!

Tony

Have you not got coats?

Twinkle

Coats? How sad are you?

Twinkle

(reading the Christmas party invite) What does that mean, sake from six thirty? (pronouncing it sake)

Dolly

Sah-ke!

Twinkle

I'm not being sarky, I'm asking!

Dolly

(reading Tony's get well card) What does that say?

Twinkle

Love Twinkle.

Dolly

We had to practice handwriting when I was at school! The little boy next door can only write his name in macaroni! How's he going to move on to joined up writing?

Bren

He'll have to have a pencil case big enough to hold spaghetti

Dolly

Didn't they teach you anything at school?

Twinkle

How to put a condom on a cucumber

Dolly

Honestly, what's the point in that?

Bren

Be fair Dolly there's not many cucumbers that could manage it for themselves

Jane

Is there anyone you want to bring?

Tony

What 'bring' bring

Jane

'Bring' bring? Not, not 'bring' bring, just bring.

Twinkle

You can get phones that do that!

Stan

They used to call me Coppernob!

Twinkle

What colour was your hair, though, Stan?

Dolly

Will you moderate your language please at this very special time? And it would be nice if we could all perhaps spare a thought for the coming of our Lord.

Twinkle

Oh, not him again. We'll be back on Rag, Tag and flipping Bobtail in a minute! Can I just finish me coffee?

Philippa

Never mind your bloody coffee. Get in the bloody bloody bloody frigging car!

Dolly

Now that's enough!

Bren

Yeah that is enough, actually, Philippa. The traffic will be crawling along anyway, 5 minutes isn't going to make any difference, we've been working really hard as well, you know. Now I don't mind how many "bloody"s you pack into a car, two in the front, two in the back, and a "frigging" on the roof rack, but some people find it offensive.

Dolly

Thank you.

Anita

I don't like 'fart face'. Even after 9:00.

Bren

(about the smell) Have a whiff of raw bacon, it takes the edge off it.

Twinkle

Who was it? Christine?

Bren

Yeah. Might be nerves.

Twinkle

Might be mushy peas!

Anita

When our neighbour died, when the (she draws a box in mid air)

Twinkle

Coffin?

Anita

Went through the (mimes looking through curtains and draws them in mid air as well)

Jean

Curtains?

Anita

They played the theme music from Countdown!

Bren

Did it make you cry?

Anita

No, I never watch it!

Dolly

(after the ambulance men leave an old woman in a wheelchair in the canteen) I wouldn't get too close, Bren, there could be two slap heads under that blanket!

Twinkle

Do you mean smackheads?

Dolly

There could be two drug addicts under that blanket, ready to leap out!

Dolly

They are small! Once people are on heroin, square meals fly out of the window, it was in the Daily Mail!