I fell off a diving board in Guernsey!
Would this be a good moment to talk about Scottish country dancing?
No it wouldn't!
Twink, what's the soup?
Minestrone
Why didn't you put it on the menu?
Can't spell it!
I quite like women in a sad, baffled sort of way! But can we get a grip? Out of a workforce of five, at any given moment one will have pre-menstrual tension, one's panicking because she's not, someone's having a hot flush and someone else is having a nervous breakdown because her HRT patch has fallen in the minestrone!
[Annoyed] That was a one off!
Pressure at work can affect your sex life, they did a questionnaire [reading] "Are you too busy to have an orgasm?"
Orgasm? I've not blown my nose since Wednesday!
(to the Stripper) Can you play the accordion?
Well, you could see what a liability that could be naked, might trap a nipple.
Last big wedding Keith's Auntie ate a coaster.
What?
Keith's Auntie Margo ate a raffia drinks coaster. She thought it was a high fibre biscuit. She had to be held back from moving down the table and buttering two more.
I thought about trailing greenery for the reception, but Keith's anti-ivy.
I didn't know Keith had an Auntie Ivy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dinnerladies pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.






