Anita quotes from Dinnerladies

Anita

[crying] I SAID NIPPLES!

How do you feel about wearing a uniform?

Anita

I think we can all see the sense in it, for hygiene. And it protects your nipples!

Anita

I'm really upset. It was me who saw him sitting on the toilet - I think I should have counselling!

Dolly

Counselling! My mother was trapped under a Blackpool tram for four and a half hours - she didn't get counselling. She got a cup of tea and two tickets to Charlie Drake!

Anita

I fancy devorai!

Dolly

As a guest?

Anita

As a fabric for my dress!

Dolly

It sounded like an ethnic boyfriend! Devorai Singh, Devorai Patel...

Tony

Do some flipping work!

Anita

Tony, I've done it again with the mushrooms!

Tony

Where was your last job, a crematorium?

Stan

It's one of several neglected areas in my life. I've got no sex life, no frying pan and I'm halfway through a tube of toothpaste I absolutely cannot stand!

Anita

Aww, I can help you out, Stan!

Tony

Aye aye?

Anita

I could lend you a wok!

Anita

(after Bren telling Bob she's just doing some bacon) You know you were asking about bacon? We haven't got any at the moment but Bren's just doing some.

What are you on, a two minute delay?

Bren

Tony didn't tear it. It was Martin.

Jean

Ooh, this gets better. Who's Martin? Should we have had a bet on him?

Bren

He's my-

Jean

Calor Gas man?

Dolly

Mother's boyfriend?

Philippa

Chiropodist?

Anita

Stick insect?

Bren

Husband.

Dolly

Will you moderate your language please at this very special time? And it would be nice if we could all perhaps spare a thought for the coming of our Lord.

Twinkle

Oh, not him again. We'll be back on Rag, Tag and flipping Bobtail in a minute! Can I just finish me coffee?

Philippa

Never mind your bloody coffee. Get in the bloody bloody bloody frigging car!

Dolly

Now that's enough!

Bren

Yeah that is enough, actually, Philippa. The traffic will be crawling along anyway, 5 minutes isn't going to make any difference, we've been working really hard as well, you know. Now I don't mind how many "bloody"s you pack into a car, two in the front, two in the back, and a "frigging" on the roof rack, but some people find it offensive.

Dolly

Thank you.

Anita

I don't like 'fart face'. Even after 9:00.

Tony

Did you drive in Anita? How was the traffic?

Anita

The traffic?

Tony

Yeah, you know, cars on the road, passing each other?

Anita

Didn't come that way.

Tony

Yeah, of course you didn't.

Anita

Who's that?

Bren

That's Christine.

Anita

And what's that smell?

Bren

That's Christine as well.

Anita

When our neighbour died, when the (she draws a box in mid air)

Twinkle

Coffin?

Anita

Went through the (mimes looking through curtains and draws them in mid air as well)

Jean

Curtains?

Anita

They played the theme music from Countdown!

Bren

Did it make you cry?

Anita

No, I never watch it!

Tony

Anita, did you get your yoghurts out?

Anita

Sorry?

Tony

Let me rephrase that. Can you get your yoghurts out?

Anita

Do you mean yoghurts as in breasts?

Tony

No, I mean yoghurts as in little pots of milky stuff with fruit in, with this being a canteen.