No, of course I don't believe that, but I also didn't believe that Karl was going to cheat on me, and I didn't believe that Mary Alice was gonna kill herself. I mean, let's face it, Mike. Blind faith is not my friend.
Every time we went out for pizza, you could have said, 'oh, by the way, I once killed a man.' Or when you said, 'hey, let's go jogging', you could have said, 'well, by the way, I once killed a man.' Every time we went to the movies and the hero shot the bad guy, you could have turned to me and said, "oh, by the way, I did that once" You didn't.
Susan, you know I try. I try to look past your flaws, your klutziness, that, that faux vulnerability, your hair, but you look for ways to push my buttons.
Because, one day, when the time is right, we're gonna tell him how he drove me right into your arms, and that's gonna kill him. And tonight, just whatever you do, don't call me beautiful.
Please hear me out. This is important. Today I have a chance to join the human race for a few hours. They're actual adults waiting for me with margaritas. Look, I'm in a dress. I have make-up on.
When she said that to me, suddenly it hit me how I was gonna get back at her. From now on, I'm going to be so good. I'm gonna eat my vegetables, I'm,I'm gonna get good grades, I'm gonna say "yes, ma'am" and "no, ma'am." I'm gonna make her believe that God has delivered her this little miracle. Until one day, when she least expects it, I'm gonna do something so awful, it is going to rock her world. I mean, it is really going to destroy her. And when that day comes, trust me. I'll know Paradise.
