Mary Alice (voiceover): Every storm brings with it hope that somehow by morning everything will be made clean again, and even the most troubling stains would have disappeared like the doubts over his innocents, or the consequence of his mistake, like the scars of his betrayal or the memory of his kiss. So we wait for the storm to pass, hoping for the best even though we know in our hearts some stains are so indelible nothing can wash them away.
S3Listen to the Rain on the Roof
S3It Takes Two
NNora
We stopped off at this bar and I got bitchy with one of the waitresses. Who cares,right? I mean, who cares? It's a bar, and we all do it, right?
Right.
NNora
So he tells me to watch my mouth, and I'm like, whoa, get a load of Mr. Two Strikes tryin' to tell me how to act in public. And then he called me a whore- We done.
Ok, whoa, whoa. Take a deep breath. You don't break up with a guy because in a weak moment he call you a whore.
NNora
And then on the way out, he threatened to hit me.
Ok, but he didn't, and until he...
NNora
Oh, jeez, Lynette. Whose side are you on?
I'm on the side of love. You guys seem like such a perfect couple.
NNora
[crying] I know.
I just.... You don't wanna throw that all away cause of a little fight with no hitting.
NNora
No. It's over.
S3A Weekend in the Country
Parker, hey, where's your uniform? You've got your game in an hour.
No I don't, I quit.
What?
I hate baseball! Daddy said I don't have to play it anymore.
Well Daddy should've checked with Mommy so she could have a chance to tell him why he's wrong. Hey, you're playing!
But Mom, I suck! Everybody says so! That's why they made up a fake position for me!
It's not fake. There's not a team I know that can get along without their back-up far right fielder! OK, come on, let's go practice.
[disgruntled] Ohh!
S3Nice She Ain’t
Will you stop it! Suicide is the worst thing that can happen to a family! I will not have it made light of!
Wow, how self absorbed can you be? I have had a thing for Mike since the day he moved in here and I even backed off when he fell for your little Miss Adorable act. But he's over that, it's my turn now and I will be better for him than you ever were. And if you do get hurt, well, that's just gravy.
She tried to slit her wrists with a spoon. Next time she might jump off the porch.
How do you sleep at night?
Soon... with Mike on top of me
S3Bang
Let him work it off. You get a free store stocker for a month.
AAustin
A month?! It was a $10 whiskey!
Exactly. You weren't even smart enough to steal the good stuff.
Nora (dying): I don't have later, you stupid bitch.
Lynette (In her dream, seeing Mary Alice at the last time): Let me save you.
You can't.
Why not?
Sweetie, we can't prevent what we can't predict.
Isn't there anything I could do?
Yes. You can enjoy this beautiful day. We get so few of them.
Carolyn (To Lynette in the supermarket): Have you not been listening? My husband cheated on me!
Who cares?! We all have pain, every one of us has pain but we deal with it! We swallow it and get going with our lives. What we don't do is go around shooting strangers!
CCarolyn
She deserved it!
Well, maybe you deserved to be cheated on!
S3Sweetheart, I Have to Confess
How long will Daddy be gone?
Well, that sorta depends on Daddy.
Are you two mad at each other?
Yeah, a little, but that's okay. We still love each other very much, but like kids, sometimes grown-ups throw tantrums and need a time-out.
Why can't he take a time-out in his room?
Cause he decided to take it in his pizza place.
No fair, that sounds fun!
Not this pizza place, it's a rat hole. But once your dad comes to his senses and stops being petulant, he'll come home.
What's petulant?
It means childish, stubborn, careless with my money and your futures.
Huh?
It's a grown-up word, and when daddy comes home, he'll learn a new one: grovel!
S3Children and Art
ASAdventure Scout Girl
[Approaches Gabrielle on the front porch] Hi. What if I told you that there was a way to help children, while reading your favorite magazines at a reduced price? Would you be interested?
[as she continues to file her nails] Sure. Knock yourself out.
ASAdventure Scout Girl
Wise choice. [Reading from her clipboard] For the lady of the house, there's Redbook, Glamour, Vogue...[Pronounces it "vo-gew"]
[Pronouncing it correctly] I believe that's Vogue, sweetheart.
ASAdventure Scout Girl
Really? Are you sure?
I should know. I was on the front cover.
ASAdventure Scout Girl
[Stunned] No. Way.
Uh, way.
S3The Miracle Song
The annual block party was a winter tradition on Wisteria Lane. It was a way for the residents to spread holiday cheer. Everyone was invited, including Art Shepard, the newest resident of Wisteria Lane. But as the big night drew near, more than holiday cheer was being spread around. By Sunday evening, most of the gossiping had subsided, and the neighborhood was once again consumed by the spirit of the season. Friends laughed over eggnog, lovers kissed under mistletoe, and the mood was jolly. That is, until a certain guest made his appearance. Yes, for the residents of Wisteria Lane, it was the most wonderful time of the year. But for Arthur Shepard and his sister, it had turned out to be a very silent night.
While you're in a good mood, I thought I'd spring something on you. My parents are coming to town.
Your parents? Really?
And I wondered if you might be free to join us for dinner Saturday.
Absolutely. So I assume this means they know about me?
But of course.
And they know about me as in (in a bad English accent) "Mum, Dad, bloody good news. I've got myself a smashing new girlfriend."
That's adorable. Please don't do it in front of them.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.