CSI: Crime Scene Investigation · Season 10
Coach was struck at least a dozen times.
A lot of rage here.
Agreed. The multiple impacts crushed his skull and drove bone fragments into the brain, causing catastrophic hemorrhaging. It's like when you push your finger into a hard-boiled egg. The shell cracks but the pieces stay in place.
Thanks for ruining another breakfast for me.
It's what I do.
C'mon, you're not gonna ask me about the zombie thing?
Well, you're obviously eager to tell me.
Well, damage was predominantly on the right side of the brain to the neo-cortex which controls thought, language and reason. It was almost completely destroyed. But the paleo-cortex which lies beneath it remained intact. The paleo-cotrex controls learned instinct and rituals. Which explains why the victim was able to brush his teeth and eat his breakfast without noticing that he was bleeding to death.
They never seem to get that right in zombie movies.
Captain, do you know how much the university pays campus security?
Well, I know that prison inmates make 15 cents an hour. Is it less than that?
You found my Beemer? Good work, boys.
When you reported it stolen, did you know there was a dead girl inside?
Well, it came fully loaded, but a dead girl wasn't part of the package.
What's with all the blood?
Oh, don't take that tone with me, blondie. This is the blood on an innocent Samaritan.
Oh, yeah? We got a special on Samaritans, we're arresting them tonight.
Why'd the killer put the gun back in the register? Langston? ... Ray? ... I'll answer my own question. You see, Greg, cop pulls you over and finds cash on you, no big deal. If he finds a gun, then you're going to jail.
And don't be surprised if Mr. Baker never admits he was raped. Odds are, you'll probably close the case on lack of co-operation and then make fun of him around the office. Have a nice day, Mr. Stokes.
Hey, what is your problem? I'm just trying to do my job here.
I've watched you guys stand over dead bodies and crack jokes. I still see a human being when all you see is evidence. Which, might make you a good investigator, but it also makes you cold, hard, people.
So you can feel compassion for dead people? But you can't feel it for someone who's alive, wearing a badge, tryin' to help! Good luck with that. Enjoy your sandwich.
So, you catch a guy burglarizing your store. You wanna teach him a lesson, I get it. You beat him, you stab him, you shoot him. But do you have to rape him?
Greek warriors in ancient times would sodomize their enemies after a battle, to humiliate them, take their manhood...
Yeah, yeah. I understand the concept of humiliation: rape isn't about sex, it's about violence. But this is a little excessive, don't you think?
Well... for some men... violence is their sex.
Sometimes, when God closes a door, Satan opens a window.
If you're gonna have me keep doing Archie's job, I'm gonna need a raise.
Lemme know what Ecklie says to that.
I was hoping you'd ask. You're a supervisor.
Yeah, well, it's good to hope for things.
Brass [to Anthony]: We also found Dede Chase's driver's license, how'd that get in there?
Dede partied with my girls for a couple days. Asked me to hold on to her valuables whilst she went clubbin'.
Did she also ask you to beat her, rape her, and slit her throat?
What is this stuff?
Uh, Langston sent us some souvenirs from Miami and New York.
Oh.
Catherine [unwraps a mini-statue of Liberty]: Mm. I was kinda hopin' for a little somethin', somethin' from Burgdorff's.
I love this.
Hodges [puts on sunglasses with palm trees on the side]: How do I look?
Bitchin'.
Ridiculous.
Time for a toast. You know, bowling is a family sport. I'd like to raise a glass to our CSI family. Cheers. [They all drink] But unfortunately, it's time to give the family a little ass-whoppin'. [They all laugh]
Oh, really?!
All of us?
Be careful, Nick, don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash.
Ooh!
Nick [reading the "Closed Notice" at Harry's]: "Notice closed by the board of health. Suspected point of origin of hepatitis B outbreak. Date of closure 7/3/09." Oops.
That was five months ago.
Nice, you were gonna give me hepatitis for my birthday. Thanks
We've got a dead body here, boys.
Henry [unenthused]: Best birthday, ever.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
