TV show quotes
Hey doc.
Two dead bodies, both were in perfect health.
I am so hoping you have more in the report than that.
Well there are two toxins that can turn a body pink post mortem.
We already ruled out carbon monoxide.
Which leaves one, cyanide ingestion. Interesting fact about cyanide, not all everyone can smell it.
Right, it's a genetic quirk.
Unfortunately, I don't have that ability.
The nose has arrived.
What's going on out here?
Well, an anonymous 911 caller reported body parts in this area. I rolled, and found this. [Shines flashlight on a pile of intestines]
Mmm, tasty.
You know, I was under the impression that it was against departmental policy to negotiate with terrorists.
Are you a terrorist?
Depends. [Shines flashlight in Grissom's face] Are you terrified?
Look, I really don't want to talk to you. Where is my guy?
Oh, so he's "your guy", huh?
Yes, he is. Where is he buried?
Are you two close?
That's none of your business.
What does "Nick Stokes" mean to you? How do you feel when you see him in that coffin? Does your soul die every time you push that button? How do you feel knowing that there's nothing you can do to get him out of that hell? Helpless? Useless? Impotent?
[Grissom is silent]
Good. Welcome to my world. [Opens jacket, revealing Semtex strapped around him] Uh, if I were you, I'd back up a little.
[Grissom takes a step back]
[Gordon blows himself up]
I;m going to get right to it, because time is of the essence here. Where'd you get that package bud?
I'd like to advise my client, careful how you answer that son, this man here's slicker than a snake in the green grass.
Let me tell you my story. Once upon a time, you follow your husband to a trailer park. You see him slumming with his little trailer bunny. You waited for him to come out...
[Flashback to, trailer door opens, Robert Durgee steps out. Amber sits in her car watching him. He lights his cigarette, suddenly car lights glare at him and tires screech as the car surges toward him]
When she pulls the body back in, before she can call for help, you torch the place. Kaboom. The end.
That's the craziest thing I've ever heard
Brass [laughs]: Wouldn't even make my top ten.
Your broadcast was for a blue Pontiac. Patrol figured this was worth a look.
How bad does a smell have to get before Parking Control calls Homicide?
No way this car was at the trailer park. Think we've got a new case. First citation was issued five days ago. Car's probably been here at least six. [Sofia pops the trunk. Inside are the liquefied remains of two bodies] Six days in the summer heat.
And a trunk becomes a crockpot.
Are you baggin' Z's right now, man?
I was just having the greatest dream.
You were out.
It was the 80's and I had this Don Johnson beard, you know, the Miami Vice stubble. It just gave me this air of danger. My lady loved it.
[Nick and Warrick are walking up behind Greg who is in the DNA lab]
I thought Greg was in the field, is he back in the lab?
I don't know.
We gotta clear this up, it's like he's confused. Lab, field, field, lab. We have a lab on wheels.
Would you guys just shut up? I'm doing this as a favor to Ecklie, it's a one time thing. He's still interviewing lab techs.
Are you making overtime?
I'm taking one for the team.
It's like the Red Sea in here.
The Red Sea's not red, David.
No, it's blue from afar and transparent when held in hand, like any other body of water. I was just speaking figuratively.
Husband claims she's a biter, fine line between pleasure and pain, but who doesn't like to cross it every once in a while right? [Grissom looks shocked at him]
When exactly was the last time that you had sexual intercourse with your late wife?
Four years ago, Rosie Palm and Thumbelina are the only action that I get.
The Orionid meteor shower. You never get a view like this in town.
Hmm. So, uh, is this part of the investigation?
No. But we're here, and it's beautiful.
It's a big desert.
About twenty-five thousand square miles
Nearest town is Pahrump. That's about thirty miles from here
But I got water, we can share.
Who are you today, Moses?
[on phone] Yeah, Jim. Uh, Grissom and I are gonna take a little walk.
Any good news, Mandy?
A little bit. Male DB at the bunker matched your partial from the kitchen door. So far he's the only one with a record. Matthew Dickens, 19, bust for petty theft.
College student
Yeah, very impressionable. When I start my religion, that's where I'm gonna recruit.
[Sara gives her a weird look]
How are we doing on the other IDs?
Including the ones that you just made, we got one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
