To defeat a child, you gotta think like a child!
You are uniquely qualified.
[running from kids] I've had it with your stupid plans, Now it's time for my stupid plans.
S3Trees a Crowd
S3Picture Perfect
With your knowledge of city stuff, and my knowledge of non-city stuff, we know all stuff!
We know all stuff. Wow, that does sound tempting, but I'm not really drawn to a night of drinking beer and watching TV.
Well, there are prizes.
What kind of prizes?
Beer and a TV.
I feel like we don't connect…
That crazy old bird next door has trolls!
What do you mean, trolls?
There's trolls on her lawn, first it was that stupid flamingo and then the frog with the butterfly in its mouth!
Oh, the lawn ornaments! I thought you meant she was possessed or something.
They're all over the place! Swans and donkeys and castles and gnomes, and now trolls! It's like a stupid circus!
Gnomes and trolls, that'd be a good circus.
Why can't we have normal neighbours?
Cuz you always frighten them away.
I'm gonna have to do something about this.
Promise me it'll be something stupid.
You sure told that wingnut a thing or two.
I don't appreciate being called a thief.
She called me a thief too.
You are a thief. If she just called you a thief, she and I would be having tea right now.
[comes into the room] Where did I leave my sandwich? Oh there it is.
That's your sandwich?
Yeah, I left it there when I went to get my milk. You didn't think Gnome Oscar made himself a sandwich, did you?
Don't be ridiculous, and don't call it Gnome Oscar.
[referring to the gnome] That thing can sleep down here, I mean stay down here.
S3Safety First
I don't know why we can't hire somebody to fix the roof.
I can do it myself. It's just a roof, not rocket surgery.
Well at least get somebody to help who knows what he's doing, instead of dorkus (referring to Davis).
[wearing kneepads on his hands] Hey these kneepads are like hats for little elves.
When you fall off the roof, try not to land on anything important
S3Hair Loss
So how did Florence die, anyway?
Oh, uh, she died of a rare condition called, uh, almost 100.
Yeesh, would you call that tacky or icky.
It's just plain ugly.
S3Merry Gasmas
Mistletoe.
Hey, is that fake or real? Cause if that's real, it's probably my mom's.
I better take it down.
Here, I'll get that.
Are you sure?
Brent, be careful.
I got it.
Same damn thing every year.
This one's broken. [referring to a toy that's in a community donation box]
Let's sing Christmas carols.
Who would give a broken toy to a needy child?
You mean a cheap child.
It's one of those motor goats; his head's come off. [chuckles]
I think if you look in the neck hole, you'll see there's a twenty in there.
[singing] Joy to the world, the Lord has come …
[to Lacey] I can see what you mean about the weird stuff reminding you.
S3Ruby Newsday
Hank was right, my newspaper was late this morning.
Yeah, well, you can thank my dad. He's your eager 12-year-old.
Really? Ha! That is so sweet. Sweet and a little bit sad. Mostly sad.
Yeah, we're all very proud.
Why should I pay you? These tips are for my service.
MMan
Can I get a coffee?
In a sec!
Come on! Betty or Veronica? Anyone can think of that.
This is what I'm saying.
Yeah? Well, I don't need this! I quit!
You're quitting a job you never had.
It's finally sinking in, isn't it? No more questions from me.
[to Wanda] Thanks for sticking up for me.
I got your back, sister! [they high-five]
S3Friend of a Friend
I'm full of wit.
Rhymes with wit.
S3Block Party
All great artists overcome adversity.
Actually most of 'em go nuts, lop off an ear or two.
Lop off my ear!? Some help you are!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Corner Gas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.