Raj quotes from Camp Lazlo

Here you go pal, use my neckerchief. I won't need it anymore.

Raj

Lazlo, there is something written on the inside of your neckerchief.

Oh yeah, that was there...when I first got it.

Raj

Let me take to my heart, Camp Kidney, a wonderland where summer runs free...

...where I laughed and I played while my good parents paid to let their child come of age and be me.

Raj

[laughs] Steaming saffron! Who wrote that hokey baloony!?

BBBig Bean

[crying] I did.

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[The Jellies and Samson are trying to lay low while hiding in the Jelly cabin from the Squirrel Scouts after they've been chasing Samson around all day]

Raj

No matter where we hide, the Squirrel Scouts always find us!

They won't find us in here, Raj.

Raj

[gasps fearfully when he hears a squealing sound, believing it's them] (Oh, no!) Here they come!

Samson

That's just my deviated septum. It's not so loud if I breathe through my mouth.

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GGirls

Hi, Samson!

[The Jellies and Samson all scream in terror and back away as the Squirrel Scouts come closer to them]

Raj

I'm sorry, Samson! I didn't sign up for this! [uses Clam as a drill and they both fall in a hole, escaping the cabin]

Run away!

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[as Raj and Clam crawl out from under the cabin] Raj? Clam? You slipped the magazine under the door.

Raj

Guilty. It's amazing what you can do with tape, scissors, and a picture of Edward. [holds up the new issue of "Dreamboat" with a picture of Edward tapped on it]

[off-screen, while the Squirrel Scouts chase him down] NO!!!!

Whoa! Poor Edward.

Samson

I'd hate to be that guy.

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[The next morning, all the campers are in their jammies]

Raj

[to Lazlo] Slinkman has never gotten us out early for announcements before. [sees Slinkman in his full body cast in the wheelchair, looking very annoyed] Uh-oh.

Listen up, campers. Due to our mishap yesterday involving... Well, [through clenched teeth] I won't mention any names, but their initials are... CHIP AND SKIP!!!

CSChip and Skip

Yay!/Whoo-hoo!

He said our initials!

We are reinstating the rule that all cabin leaders are responsible for their bunk mates. [Campers gasped] That means keep them from hurting themselves or others.

Wait a minute. What does that mean, babysitting?

In your case, Edward, it means dung-sitting, 24/7.

WHAT?!?!

Edward's gonna dung-sit?

Skip

Does that mean he can sit on us?

[desperately] No! [grabbing Slikman, causing him to fall down] I don't want to be a dung-sitter! I beg you! You can't do that to me!

I'm sorry, Edward, it's new... camp... policy! [shoves Edward off him with his feet and onto Chip and Skip]

Hey, Edward, are you gonna sit on us for a while?

Skip

I don't know if you wanna do that. We just had beans.

[sulking grumpily to himself] I hate my life.

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Well, I guess that leaves more for us then.

Raj

Um...I think I'm late for my yoga lesson, Lazlo.

Yoga.

Oh well, I will save them some.

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Patsy

Oh Lazlo! [giggles]

Raj

[annoyed] What is it, Patsy, for the 20th time?

Patsy

Never mind. [she, Nina, and Gretchen giggle]

Raj

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Those girls are nothing well.

Ding-dongs.

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Raj

Are you sure it's okay to steal all this stuff?

It's not stealing, Raj, it's borrowing and besides we'll leave an I.O.U for them in case they're wondering where it is.

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[First lines]

Hey Raj?

Raj

Yes lazlo?

How many times can you hop up and down?

Raj

Well, my legs ARE tremendously strong so I will have to say...eleven thousand times.

Yeah that sounds about right. How 'bout you Clam?

Four.

Four?

Raj

No way!

Four.

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[Nurse Leslie couldn't stand hearing that waiting room music]

[crying] Don't judge me for crying fellas. DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME!!! Wahhahah!

I think someone needs a vacation.

Vacation? What's a...vacation?

You don't even know what a vacation is? [drops mouth open in surprise]

Raj

Come on, Lazlo. Maybe Nurse Leslie comes from Europe where vacations are known as holidays.

Look, you idiots, I know what a vacation is. I just never had one.

Well, everyone can have a vacation. Including you.

Oh, yeah? Well, tell that to Scoutmaster Lumpus.

[calling out] Scoutmaster Lumpus?!

Lumpus

[relaxing on the beach chair] What?!

Can Nurse Leslie take vacation?!

Lumpus

[surprised] We have a nurse?

[to Nurse Leslie] See? It'll be fine.

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[over the radio] They're getting closer! This isn't a stunt! Call the coast guard!

[Chip and Skip begin crying]

Samson

[enters their cabin] Hey, guys! Chip! Skip! Come on, you two! We're gonna go watch Edward getting eaten by yetis!

CSChip and Skip

Cool!

Come on! Hurry!

[while carrying Raj] Save Edward! Save Edward!

Dave

Where you going?

Raj

Radio station.

Save Edward.

Dave

[to Ping Pong] Want to watch Edward get eaten by yetis?

Ping Pong

It beats sitting here.

[still freaking out] Help! I lied about last night! This is real now! [voice cowering] This has been...Edward...After Dark. [screams as the yetis enter]

[The campers arrived too late as the lights of the radio station went out]

Raj

Are we too late?

[solemnly] Yes, Raj.

Raj

[to Clam] Can you put me down now?

[Clam puts Raj down]

[holding a radio] Goodbye, Edward.

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Skip

What do you recommend? [Chip fills all the tray from rice] It needs something. [thinks what needs, meanwhile a fly dies by the insects killer and falls into the tray. he soon speaks to Chip] You’re a genius [although the dead fly do this]

Ugh... [walks backwards disgustedly]

Raj

I'm not hungry anymore.

We might throw up.

[The Jelly beans run away from the mess hall]

Lumpus

[annoyed] OH, I'LL TAKE THAT! [chews the tray and throws up off-screen]

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[Last lines]

Raj

[to Lazlo] Scoutmaster Lazlo?

Yes, Raj?

Raj

Um, my cabin's on fire.

Oh, I'm not the scoutmaster anymore, Scoutmaster Lumpus is now. He's not leaving.

Raj

Ohhh... [moves over to Lumpus] "Scoutmaster Lumpus, my cabin's on fire. [the camera zooms out to show camp on fire] Scoutmaster Lumpus, there's fire on your shoe.