What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is?
It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry-clean till Judgment Day, you are living with those stains.
Yeah, that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat-- the stains.
I don't think I can face them.
I can't. What am I supposed to say? "Sorry I almost got your throats slit. What's the homework?"
Punishing yourself like this is pointless.
It's entirely pointy. I was a moron. I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school.
What are you gonna do, crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?
Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admid that, but believe me, that was hardly the worst mistake you'll ever make. That wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.
Well, points for effort. I'll see you.
(laughs a bit) Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Danced with is a pretty loose term. Mated with might be a little closer.
Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.
(digging in the grave yard as the girls watch) Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
(stopping, almost breathless) Hear, hear.
Sorry, but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
I don't get it. Why would anybody wanna make a girl?
(bitterly) You mean when there's so many pre-made ones just laying around? The things we do for love.
Love has nothing to do with this.
Maybe not, but I'll tell you this: people don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream. What they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.
Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music's stopped and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?
Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to...
Do you mind? We're talking here.
(Cordelia is taken aback, rolls her eyes and leaves.)
Wondering why we never get dates.
Yeah, so why do you think that is?
Come on, Stephan. Rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting.
Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or yodel.
I heard you were on the hunt.
I'm supposed to be, but, lazybones here doesn't want to come out and play.
When you first wake up, it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
It's weird to think of you going through that.
It's weird to go through. So, uh, you're here alone?
I just though you'd have somebody with you. Xander or someone.
No. Why? Are you jealous?
[chuckles] Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Is it 'cause I danced with him?
"Danced with" is a pretty loose term. "Made it with" might be a little closer.
Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way, behold my success.
You're not jealous. What, vampires don't get jealous?
See? Whenever we fight, you always bring up the vampire thing.
Well, I didn't come here to fight. [grunts] Oh, right. I did.
[Buffy and Angel fights Stephan]
Where's my stake? I know I had a stake.
I didn't see your stake. [grunting]
What do you mean, "He's just a kid"? Does that mean I'm just a kid, too?
Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight.
Oh, no, you don't. You can't just turn and walk away from me like that. It takes more than that to get rid of me. [grunts] Oh. Ow.
I'm fine. Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this.
Another vampire has risen tonight.
I don't think so. Look at those tracks. Whoever was buried here didn't rise from this grave. She was dragged from it.
God, the whole thing was so creepy. At the same time, I mean, he did do it all for his brother.
Sounds like he took it a little over the edge.
Love makes you do the wacky.
Oh. Crazy, like a 241-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?
I thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.
Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals. Hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.
I don't look that good in direct light.
I should probably go. I could walk you home.
BUBig Ugly
This weekend, the night of St. Vigeous, our power shall be at its peak. When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.
You were there? Please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion actually was there, it would've been like Woodstock.
BUBig Ugly
I oughta rip your throat out.
I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and then I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.
[Big Ugly rushes Spike, who punches him out without even looking]
[to Collin] So, who do you kill for fun around here?
Spike. You're that Anointed guy. I read about you. You've got Slayer problems. That's a bad piece of luck. Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them.
[glancing at Big Ugly] A lot faster than nancy-boy there. Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag... [scoffs] Who am I kidding? I love to brag!
We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you might show.
You said you weren't sure if you were going.
I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?
Wow. Two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still like 400 dates with 400 different... [Awkward beat.] Why do they call it a mace?
I taught you to always guard your perimeter. [tuts.] You should have someone out there.
I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?
Yeah. Come up against this slayer yet?
She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave her the puppy dog "I'm all tortured" act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.
People still fall for that Anne Rice routine? What a world!
[to Angel] I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.
[holding a pole] Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a nice ripe [turns to see Buffy, holding an axe] ...girl.
Do we really need weapons for this?
I just like them, they make me feel all manly.
[They both drop their weapons]
The last Slayer I killed - she begged for her life. You don't strike me as the begging kind.
You shouldn't have come here.
No. I've messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored. I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.
No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.
It was close, baby, but--
[sighs] A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
You'll kill her. And then we'll have a nice celebration.
Yeah, with streamers, and songs.
He's doesn't want to play.
[snorts] Figures. Well, suppose I better go make nice.
AOThe Anointed One
You failed.
I, um... I offer penance.
Penance?! You should lay down your life! Our numbers are depleted. The feast of St. Vigeous has been ruined by your impatience!
I was rash... and if I had to do it all over again. [laughing] Who am I kidding? I would do it, exactly the same. Only I'd do this first!
From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual, and a little more fun around here.
AOThe Anointed One
[screaming]
