Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 2, Episode 2
“Some Assembly Required” · Season 2, Episode 2
In this episode: Buffy Summers (6), Xander Harris (4), Angel (3), Willow Rosenberg (2), Rupert Giles (1), Cordelia Chase (1)
Are you jealous?
(laughs a bit) Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Danced with is a pretty loose term. Mated with might be a little closer.
Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
I am not jealous.
You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.
(digging in the grave yard as the girls watch) Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
(stopping, almost breathless) Hear, hear.
Sorry, but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
So, both coffins are empty. That makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies.
Is it an army if you just have three?
Zombie drill team then.
I don't get it. Why would anybody wanna make a girl?
(bitterly) You mean when there's so many pre-made ones just laying around? The things we do for love.
Love has nothing to do with this.
Maybe not, but I'll tell you this: people don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream. What they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.
Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music's stopped and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?
All the time.
Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to...
Do you mind? We're talking here.
(Cordelia is taken aback, rolls her eyes and leaves.)
So where were we?
Wondering why we never get dates.
Yeah, so why do you think that is?
Come on, Stephan. Rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting.
Hey.
[gasps]
Is this a bad time?
Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or yodel.
I heard you were on the hunt.
I'm supposed to be, but, lazybones here doesn't want to come out and play.
When you first wake up, it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
It's weird to think of you going through that.
It's weird to go through. So, uh, you're here alone?
Yeah. Why?
I just though you'd have somebody with you. Xander or someone.
Xander.
Or someone.
No. Why? Are you jealous?
[chuckles] Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Is it 'cause I danced with him?
"Danced with" is a pretty loose term. "Made it with" might be a little closer.
Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way, behold my success.
I am not jealous.
You're not jealous. What, vampires don't get jealous?
See? Whenever we fight, you always bring up the vampire thing.
Well, I didn't come here to fight. [grunts] Oh, right. I did.
[Buffy and Angel fights Stephan]
Where's my stake? I know I had a stake.
I didn't see your stake. [grunting]
What do you mean, "He's just a kid"? Does that mean I'm just a kid, too?
Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight.
Oh, no, you don't. You can't just turn and walk away from me like that. It takes more than that to get rid of me. [grunts] Oh. Ow.
You okay?
I'm fine. Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this.
So...
Oh.
Another vampire has risen tonight.
I don't think so. Look at those tracks. Whoever was buried here didn't rise from this grave. She was dragged from it.
God, the whole thing was so creepy. At the same time, I mean, he did do it all for his brother.
Sounds like he took it a little over the edge.
Love makes you do the wacky.
What?
Crazy stuff.
Oh. Crazy, like a 241-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?
Are you 'fessing up?
I thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.
I don't love Xander.
Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals. Hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.
I don't look that good in direct light.
It'll be morning soon.
I should probably go. I could walk you home.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
