TV show quotes
[about the prophecy] Well, there's gotta be some way around it.
Listen, some prophecies are-are a bit dodgy. They're-they're mutable. Buffy herself has-has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass.
Then you're reading it wrong.
I wish to God I were. But it's very plain. Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die.
(about the prophecy in which she will die) So that's it, huh? I remember the drill. One slayer dies, the next one's called. I wonder who she is. Will you train her? Or will they send someone else?
Buffy... I...
[wimpering] Does it say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? [as Angel steps close to her] Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?
I was hoping I wouldn't have to, that there was some way around it. I...
I've got a way around it. I quit.
It's not that simple.
I'm making it that simple. I quit. I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop The Master from taking over.
I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate...
[enraged, throwing books at Giles] The signs?! Read me the signs! Tell me my fortune! You're so useful sitting here with all of your books! You're really a lot of help!
I don't suppose I am
I know this is hard.
What do you know about this? You're never gonna die
You think I want anything to happen to you? You think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...
I already did. I quit, remember. Pay attention!
Buffy, if the Master rises...
I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.
You're dead.
I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.
You were destined to die! It was written!
What can I say? I flunked the written.
Where are your jibes now? Will you laugh when my Hell is on Earth?
You're that amped about Hell? Go there!
The vampires?
Gone.
The Master?
Dead. The Hellmouth is closed. Buffy? Buffy?
Um, sorry. It's just... been a really weird day.
Yeah. Buffy died and everything.
Wow. Harsh.
I should've known that wouldn't stop you.
Well, what do we do now?
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore.
Hey, I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun.
Yeah.
Buffy?
Sure. We saved the world. I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty.
What about him?
He's not going anywhere. Loser.
I'm not dancing, though.
We'll see. You can come with us, though.
So, what's the story with the car?
Oh, that was me.
I'm really, really hungry.
[laughing]
By the way, I really like your dress.
Yeah, yeah. It's a big hit with everyone.
The first day back. It always gets me.
Yes.
I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare. Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist.
I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your abhorrence of children, school principal was not, perhaps, your true vocation?
[Giles sees Jenny and starts talking to her ignoring Snyder]
Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. You think they're thinking about learning? Every time a pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a bumbling idiot. I try to teach them the important things in life. Discipline. Respect. Punctuality. I might as well be talking to myself.
[Snyder doesn't notice that Giles has left]
Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers.
[The others look at each other.]
[to Xander] Was that an insult?
Kinda lacked punch.
The Three Musketeers were cool.
I see your point.
I woulda gone with Stooges.
Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?
Uh, yes! Our own personal demons.
Uh, such as, as, as lust and, uh, thrift!
I would have to go with Stooges also.
Xander, did I ever thank you for saving my life?
No.
Don't you wish I would?
Buffy. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?
As defending champion, you nervous?
[scoffs] I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close which is good cause I don't really like you that much. But you have been known to save the world on occasion, so I'm going to give you a piece of advice.
Which is?
Get over it.
Excuse me?
Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now.
She's possessed!
Possessed?
That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should've seen her last night. That wasn't Buffy.
Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? [gets looks from the others and concedes] She's possessed.
Possessed by what?
Aaaaa possessing thing!
[sarcastically] Well, that narrows it down.
Well, you're the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some... mystical bad guy transference thing happened.
That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
A bitcuh?
There's some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
No actually that would be one of the five.
That summers girl, I smell trouble, I smell expulsion, and just the faintest aroma of jail.
Well before you throw away the key you might consider giving her the benefit of the doubt, she may surprise you.
You really have faith in those kids don't you?
Yes I do.
Weird.
We need to distract the vampires.
Right.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna kill them all. That oughta distract 'em.
What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is?
What?
It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry-clean till Judgment Day, you are living with those stains.
Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat. The stains.
We Bronzin' it tonight?
Wednesday's kinda beat.
Well we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer but, gosh, we did that last night.
Angel stopped by? Wow, was there... Well, I mean, was it having to do with kissing?
Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing.
Yeah, some stuff's about groping. It wasn't about groping?
Okay, hormones on parade here, it was pure shop talk. Remember vampires? Pointy teeth? They walk by night? Am I ringing a bell?
What did he say?
Oh, something's up. Nothing I can't handle.
Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna be at the Bronze tonight?
Cibo Matto? They're playing?
No, Willow. They're gonna be clog dancing.
Cibo Matto can clog dance? Oh, sarcasm. Right.
We should attend, no?
Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers.
[The others look at each other.]
[to Xander] Was that an insult?
It kind of lacked punch.
The Three Musketeers were cool.
I see your point.
I would've gone with Stooges.
Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?
Uh, yes, our own personal demons.
Uh, such as-as-as lust and, um, thrift.
I would have to go with Stooges, also.
What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big, squiggly demons that came from the ground? Remember? Prom night? With all the vampires?
Cordelia? Your mouth is open. Sound is coming from it. This is never good.
No, it's... See, we can't mention that stuff in front of other people. Buffy being the Slayer and all.
You haven't been talking about our little adventure all summer, have you?
Are you nuts? You think I would tell people that I spent the whole evening with you? Besides, it was all so creepy. That Master guy and all the screaming? I don't even like to think about it. So... your secret's safe with me.
Well, that works out great. You won't tell everyone that I'm a Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron.
Now, that was a good insult.
A little too good.
What's up with her?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
