Jenny Calendar quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I'm just going to stay and clean up a little. I'll be back in the Middle Ages.

Jenny

Did you ever leave?

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Jenny

You kids really dig the library, don't you?

We're literary.

To read makes our speaking English good.

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Jenny

Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?

The smell.

Jenny

Computers don't smell, Rupert.

I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower, or a a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and-and-and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is a - it, uh, it has no no texture, no-no context. It's-it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then-then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.

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Oh, great. A book.

Oh, I, uh, I haven't gone through the new arrivals. Uh, put it in-in that pile.

DDave

Here, I'll get it.

Oh. Thanks, Dave. Willow pile.

Uh, uh, when I've examined it, you can, uh, uh, skim it.

Jenny

Scan it. Rupert, that's "scan it."

Of course.

Jenny

Oh, I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century, with three whole years to spare.

Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.

Jenny

That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the good box.

Well, I still prefer a good book.

FFritz

The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive.

Jenny

Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people. Fritz-Fritz comes on a little strong, but he does have a point. You know, for the last two years, more e-mail was sent than regular mail.

Hmm.

Jenny

More digitized information went across phone lines than conversations.

Yeah, well, that is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.

Jenny

I'll bet it is. All right, guys, let's wrap it up for today.

I've just got a few more. I'll hang for a bit.

Jenny

Cool. Thanks.

Xander, you want to stay and help me?

[chuckles] Are you kidding?

Yes. It was a joke I made up.

[chuckles] Willow, I love you, but bye.

See you tomorrow.

Buffy, wait up.

I-I'm just going to stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the Middle Ages.

Jenny

Did you ever leave?

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[keyboard clacking and computer beeping]

[clears throat]

Jenny

Well, look who's here. Welcome to my world. You scared?

I'm remaining calm, thank you. I just wanted to, uh, return this. I found it among the new books and naturally, I though of you.

Jenny

Cool. Thanks.

Uh, well, I'll-I'll see you anon.

Jenny

Can't get out of here fast enough, can you?

Truthfully, I'm even less anxious to be around computers than I used to be.

Jenny

Well, it was your book that started all the trouble, not a computer.

[sighs]

Jenny

Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?

The smell.

Jenny

Computers don't smell, Rupert.

I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and-and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is-is... it has no-no texture, no-no context. It's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible. It should be, um... smelly.

Jenny

Well, you really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you?

Well, I-I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.

Jenny

That's not where I dangle it.

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The vampires?

Gone.

The Master?

Dead. The Hellmouth is closed. Buffy? Buffy?

Um, sorry. It's just... been a really weird day.

Yeah. Buffy died and everything.

Wow. Harsh.

I should've known that wouldn't stop you.

Jenny

Well, what do we do now?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore.

Hey, I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun.

Yeah.

Buffy?

Sure. We saved the world. I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty.

Jenny

What about him?

He's not going anywhere. Loser.

I'm not dancing, though.

Jenny

We'll see. You can come with us, though.

So, what's the story with the car?

Oh, that was me.

I'm really, really hungry.

[laughing]

Angel

By the way, I really like your dress.

Yeah, yeah. It's a big hit with everyone.

S1 Prophecy Girl

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What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is?

Jenny

What?

It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry-clean till Judgment Day, you are living with those stains.

Jenny

Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat. The stains.

S2 E1 When She Was Bad

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What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is?

Jenny

Hmm?

It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry-clean till Judgment Day, you are living with those stains.

Jenny

Yeah, that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat-- the stains.

I hear you.

I don't think I can face them.

Hmm? Of course you can.

I can't. What am I supposed to say? "Sorry I almost got your throats slit. What's the homework?"

Punishing yourself like this is pointless.

It's entirely pointy. I was a moron. I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school.

What are you gonna do, crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?

Would it have cable?

Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admid that, but believe me, that was hardly the worst mistake you'll ever make. That wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.

Well, points for effort. I'll see you.

S2 E1 When She Was Bad

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This isn't right, school on a Saturday. It throws off my internal clock.

When are we gonna need computers for real life, anyway?

Jenny

Hmm. Let's see. There's home, school, work, games.

You know, computers are on their way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback.

And the abacus.

Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci. [scoffs]

Jenny

Alright, guys, the first thing we're gonna do is... Buffy.

Huh? Did I fall asleep already?

Aw, you miss your friends?

Sit here, Buffs. Demilitarize the zone between me and Cordelia.

Yeah, and delouse him while you're at it.

Actually, I wanted to talk to you for a second.

Jenny

Is something wrong?

Is there some crisis that requires instant action, very far from here?

It's Giles.

Jenny

Well, he's all right, isn't he?

I don't know. He didn't show up when he was supposed to last night, and then, when I went over to his place, he was acting... well, very anti-Giles. He wouldn't let me in, and he looked really bad. I think he might have been... I think he was drinking.

Jenny

He was home alone drinking?

But, tea, right?

It wasn't tea, Will.

Yup. Yup, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be would as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night it was booze, whores and fur flying. Were there whores?

He was alone.

Give it time.

So, none of you guys have noticed anything different lately?

No.

Jenny

Not really.