Buffy Summers quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy

I know you. You were in that costume shop.

Ethan Rayne

I'm pleased you remember.

Buffy

You sold me that dress for Halloween and nearly got us all killed!

Ethan Rayne

But you looked great.

Buffy

What are you doing here?

Ethan Rayne

Snooping around.

Buffy

Honesty... nice touch.

Ethan Rayne

It's one of my virtues... not really.

Ethan Rayne

Well we can't run. Eigon will find us. This mark's like a homing beacon.

Buffy

It's okay. I'm not much into running.

Ethan Rayne

Aren't we manly.

Buffy

One of us is.

Ethan Rayne

If you think of it karmically this is, this is really big for your soul. You know, taking my place with the demon. Giving, so that others may live.

Buffy

I'm gonna kill you. Will that blow the whole karma thing?

Cordelia

This isn't right, school on a Saturday. It throws off my internal clock.

Xander

When are we gonna need computers for real life, anyway?

Jenny

Hmm. Let's see. There's home, school, work, games.

Xander

You know, computers are on their way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback.

Willow

And the abacus.

Xander

Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci. [scoffs]

Jenny

Alright, guys, the first thing we're gonna do is... Buffy.

Xander

Huh? Did I fall asleep already?

Willow

Aw, you miss your friends?

Xander

Sit here, Buffs. Demilitarize the zone between me and Cordelia.

Cordelia

Yeah, and delouse him while you're at it.

Buffy

Actually, I wanted to talk to you for a second.

Jenny

Is something wrong?

Xander

Is there some crisis that requires instant action, very far from here?

Buffy

It's Giles.

Jenny

Well, he's all right, isn't he?

Buffy

I don't know. He didn't show up when he was supposed to last night, and then, when I went over to his place, he was acting... well, very anti-Giles. He wouldn't let me in, and he looked really bad. I think he might have been... I think he was drinking.

Jenny

He was home alone drinking?

Willow

But, tea, right?

Buffy

It wasn't tea, Will.

Xander

Yup. Yup, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be would as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night it was booze, whores and fur flying. Were there whores?

Buffy

He was alone.

Xander

Give it time.

Buffy

So, none of you guys have noticed anything different lately?

Willow

No.

Jenny

Not really.

Buffy

You haven't seem anything weird?

Xander

Nope.

Cordelia

No, he seemed perfectly normal yesterday when I saw him talking to the police.

Buffy

And you waited till now to tell us this because...?

Cordelia

I didn't think it was important.

Xander

We understand. It wasn't about you.

Jenny

What were the police talking to him about?

Cordelia

Oh, don't tell me I know this one. Um... Something about, a homicide.

Buffy

That's it. I'm calling him right now.

Buffy

[about Jenny] Hey. Is she okay?

Giles

Um... the hills are not alive.

Buffy

I'm sorry to hear that, I think.

Giles

I don't think she'll ever really forgive me. Maybe she shouldn't.

Buffy

Maybe you should.

Giles

I never wanted you to see that side of me.

Buffy

I'm not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I'm so used to you being a grownup. And then I find out that you're a person.

Giles

Oh, most grownups are.

Buffy

Who would've thought?

Giles

Some are even, uh, shortsighted, foolish people.

Buffy

So, after all this time, we finally find out that we do have something in common. Which, apart from being a little weird... is kind of okay. I think we're supposed to be training right now.

Giles

Yes, yes. Um, need to concentrate on your flexibility.

Buffy

And you know what? I have just the perfect music. Go on, say it. You know you want to.

Giles

It's not music, it's just, uh, meaningless sounds.

Buffy

There. Feel better?

Giles

Yes. Thanks. Bay City Rollers. Now, that's music.

Buffy

I didn't hear that.

Xander

"Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?" Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?

Buffy

So, mark "none of the above".

Xander

Well, there are no boxes for "none of the above". That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world.

Buffy

I wish we could be regular kids.

Angel

Yeah. I'll never be a kid.

Buffy

Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

Buffy

You must be number two.

Buffy

Thanks for the wake up, but I'll stick with my clock radio.

Buffy

Come on, don't make me do the chick fight thing.

Kendra

Chick fight?

Buffy

You know...

Kendra

[grunting] Who are you?

Buffy

Who am I? You attack me. Who the hell are you?

Kendra

I'm Kendra, the Vampire Slayer.

Willow

There's a Slayer handbook?

Buffy

Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?

Willow

Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...

Giles

After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.

Buffy

Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha- what's wrong with my case?

Kendra

And those two, they also know you are the Slayer?

Buffy

Yep.

Kendra

Did anyone explain to you what "secret identity" means?

Buffy

Nope. Must be in the handbook. Right after the chapter on personality removal.

Buffy

It's your lucky day, Spike.

Kendra

Two Slayers!

Buffy

No waiting!

Buffy

[panting] Okay. One more time. You're the who?

Kendra

I am the Slayer.

Buffy

Nice cover story, but here's a tip. You might want try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.

Kendra

You can't stop me. Even if you kill me, another Slayer will be sent to take me place.

Buffy

Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!

Kendra

Nonsense. There is but one. And I am she.

Buffy

Okay. A scenario. You back off. I'll back off. But you promise not to go all wiggy, until we can go to my watcher, and figure this out.

Kendra

"Wiggy"?

Buffy

You know, "no kicko, no fighto".

Kendra

I accept your scenario.

Buffy

So, you were sent here?

Kendra

Yes, by my watcher.

Buffy

To do what, exactly?

Kendra

To do my duty. I'm here to kill vampires.

Kendra

Thank you for the shirt. It was very generous of you.

Buffy

Hey, it looks better on-- well, me, but no worries. Now, when we get to the airport...

Kendra

I get on the plane with me ticket, and sit in a seat, not the cargo hold.

Buffy

Very good.

Kendra

That is not traveling undercover.

Buffy

Exactly. Relax. You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your peanuts, you watch the movie-- well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy Chase.

Kendra

I'll remember.

Buffy

I, um... I just wanted to thank you for helping me save Angel.

Kendra

I'm not telling me Watcher about that. It is too strange that a Slayer loves a vampire.

Buffy

Tell me about it.

Kendra

Still, he is pretty cute.

Buffy

Well, maybe they won't fire me for dating him.

Kendra

You always do that.

Buffy

Do what?

Kendra

You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you are.

Buffy

Did you get that from your handbook?

Kendra

From you.

Buffy

I guess it's something I really can't fight. I'm a freak.

Kendra

Not the only freak.

Buffy

Not anymore.

Kendra

I don't hug.

Buffy

Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.

Willow

And you're loving playing nursemaid?

Buffy

Oh, yeah!

Xander

So, is it better than playing naughty stewardess?