Buffy Summers quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy

I told one lie, I had one drink.

Giles

Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.

Cordelia

You did it. You saved us. I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole. You guys. I just... hate you guys. The weirdest things always happen when you around. And you, you're going to jail for 15,000 years.

Buffy

I told one lie. I had one drink.

Giles

Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.

Buffy

I'm sorry.

Giles

So am I. I... I drive you too hard because I know what you have to face. From now on, no-no more pushing, no more prodding. Just, um, an inordinate amount of nudging.

Willow

It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher Diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.

Buffy

Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private.

Willow

Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.

Buffy

Most importantly, it would be wrong.

Buffy

Angel's a vampire, I thought you knew.

Cordelia

Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.

Willow

It's true.

Cordelia

You know what I think? I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.

Buffy

It's just ... You're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding! You're missing the whole point of Halloween.

Willow

Free candy?

Buffy

It's "come as you aren't" night! The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild, with no repercussions.

Willow

Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.

Buffy

Ta da. Just little old 20th-century me.

Angel

Sure you're okay?

Buffy

I'll live.

Angel

I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?

Buffy

I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.

Angel

Oh, ho.

Buffy

What?

Angel

I hated the girls back then. Especially the noblewomen.

Buffy

You did.

Angel

They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone ... exciting. Interesting.

Buffy

Really? Interesting how?

Angel

You know how.

Buffy

Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.

Angel

You're right. I should.

Buffy

Definitely.

Angel

Do you love me?

Buffy

What?

Angel

Do you?

Buffy

I love you. I don't know if I trust you.

Angel

Maybe you shouldn't do either.

Buffy

Maybe I'm the one who should decide!

Angel

I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was ... an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet, and chaste.

Buffy

And you made her a vampire.

Angel

First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.

Buffy

Well. I asked for the truth.

Giles

I believe that's called growing up.

Buffy

Then I'd like to stop, okay?

Giles

I know the feeling.

Buffy

Does it ever get easy?

Giles

You mean life?

Buffy

Yeah. Does it get easy?

Giles

What do you want me to say?

Buffy

Lie to me.

Giles

Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Buffy

Liar.

I'm sorry, Summers. Did I screw up your righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?

Buffy

I'm sorry. I had no idea. But what you're doing is still very wrong.

Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty-four hours straight because the pain in your head is so intense, and then we'll discuss the concept of right and wrong. These people are sheep. They're wanna be vampires 'cause they're lonely, miserable or bored. I don't have a choice.

Buffy

You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice. You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay.

You think I need to justify myself to you?

Buffy

I think this is all part of your little fantasy drama. Isn't this exactly how you imagined it? You tell me how you've suffered and I feel sorry for you. Well, I do feel sorry for you, and if those vampires come in here and start feeding, I'll kill you myself.

You know what, Summers? I really did miss you.

Buffy

Ford, help me stop this. Please. People, listen to me! This is not the mothership, people! This is ugly death come to play--

Buffy

I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

Giles

You needn't say anything.

Buffy

It'd be simpler if I could just hate him. I think he wanted me to. I think it made it easier for him to be the villain of the piece. Really, he was just scared.

Giles

Yes, I suppose he was.

Buffy

Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. And it's just, like, the more I know the more confused I get.

Giles

I believe that's called growing up.

Buffy

I'd like to stop then, okay?

Giles

I know the feeling.

Buffy

Does it ever get easy?

Giles

You mean life?

Buffy

Yeah. Does it get easy?

Giles

What do you want me to say?

Buffy

Lie to me.

Giles

Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. And, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Buffy

Liar.

Xander

Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.

Buffy

He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be math year."

Giles

Um, a medical transport is delivering the monthly supply of blood to the hospital.

Buffy

Mm. Vampire Meals-On-Wheels.

Xander

Yep, yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night, it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores?

Buffy

He was alone.

Xander

Give it time.

Buffy

Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find?

Xander

I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath? Nah.

Buffy

I'm not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I'm so used to you being a grownup, and then I find out that you're a person.

Giles

Most grownups are.