[To a criminal about butt-head]He keeps calling me "buttknocker" & he won't stop & IT PISSE ME OFF!!!
Later...
S5 E45Murder Site
[Pointing to beavis]There he is,The buttknocker in the middle.
S5 E46Spanish Fly
Hey Beavis, huh huh huh. If you like, abstract a chick, huh huh huh, then I can like, stick it in her taco! Huh huh huh.
Heh heh heh m heh No way, Butt-Head! We have to like, give her the Spanish Fly first!
What the hell do you think I'm talking about, butt plug?!?!
Um, I uh, oh yeah, yeah heh heh heh m heh...
[Tommy, the student who's consumed the Spanish Fly, has got a scared Beavis in a wrestling position]
AHHHHHHHHHH!!! HE'S GOT A BONER!!!!
Kick him in the nads, Beavis.
[Beavis delivers a low blow to Tommy]
Buzzcut [Whilst tending to Tommy]: Beavis, get back here!
Let's get outta here before he screws us all!
[Beavis and Butt-head walk out]
S5 E47Sexual Harassment
Right now, I'm being sexually harassed by Kimberly.
KKimberly
WHAT!?!
Yeah, me too, she's giving me a stiffy.
Yeah, and it makes it like uncomfortable to work and stuff....usually harasses me at least once a day.
Four or five times for me, sir.
I think YOU'RE sexually harassing Kimberly.
No way! Chicks can't get stiffies!
[Beavis is staring at Kimberly while Joe Adler is pleading Beavis and Butt-head's case of sexual harassment against her]
She's doing it again! She's doing it right now!
JJudge
What is she doing?
She's giving me a stiffy.
JJudge
Giving you a what?
Heh, you know…boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing.
[to judge] He has an erection.
S5 E48Bus Trip
Let's write big butt on the chalkboard.
[Beavis and Butt-head are about to deface the blackboard when they see the words, "FIELD TRIP TODAY"]
Wait, it's trying to tell us something. [Begins to read] "Feel"..."Tit"...err..."Tripe"...
I've got a rock formation in my pants.
[Van Driessen has got his guitar ready and asks the students for song requests]
DDean
Like, 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall?
Good, Dean. But beer and driving don't mix. How about 99 Bottles of Tea on the Wall. Or we could try some other arrangement.
Cars behind the bus are honking their horns.
Hey, why's everybody honking?
Beavis [Whilst mooning at other cars]: Peek-a-boo!
[Van Driessen has got his guitar ready and asks the students for song requests]
DDean
Like, "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"?
Good, Dean. But beer and driving don't mix. How about "99 Bottles of Tea on the Wall"? Or we could try some other arrangement. [cars behind the bus are honking their horns] What's going on? Why's everybody honking?
[whilst mooning at other cars] Peek-a-boo!
S5 E50Steamroller
Some day, we're gonna have wheels just like Todd.
Yeah, then we can, like, drive chicks to school.
You dumbass! If we ever get a car and chicks, we're not going anywhere near a school.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.