Beavis and Butt-Head · Season 5
[Beavis' ride in the tire causes not only a car crash, but also makes Todd spill a small drop of beer onto his jeans]
Aw, Dammit! My good jeans.
[Beavis then hits a car on cinder blocks,owned by a redneck couple, killing the man underneath. Butt-head soon follows up]
HEY! IF YOU STEP ON MY PROPERTY AGAIN, I'LL SHOOT YOUR ASS!
[Todd arrives at the parking lot where he is about to attack Beavis for making him spill beer on his jeans.]
You pre-schoolers are dead! You made me spill beer all over my jeans!
Do you want me to kick Beavis' ass for you?
That won't be necessary, man.
[Beavis's ride in the tire causes not only a car crash, but also makes Todd spill a small drop of beer onto his jeans]
Aw, damn it! My good jeans.
Butt-head, perhaps you see a part of yourself in Michael.
Yeah, my butt.
And Beavis, is that what you feel?
Beavis feels himself.
Shut up, Butt-head! Heh, I'll kick your ass!
[thinking] You will get the chick across from you. You will see her thingies. It is going to be cool.
Dammit, Beavis! We've got a room full of chicks here who do it for free, and all you can think about is why there aren't more guys here?!
Ummm, yea, hehheh.
Hey, Butt-head. I bet if we had a bomb, Pantera would hang out with us.
Yeah. We could make 'em hang out with us.
I was like, AGHH!! MY LEG!! Uh I mean, AGHH!! MY NECK!!!
We'll take you for a ride.
For today's positive activity you're gonna wash my wagoneer!
Umm, that's not what my dad said we're gonna do.
Your dad's not here, boy! And for the tenth time, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna positively kill you!
Heh heh heh heh, "wood."
Heh heh, "boner!"
[About the place where the guy killed his brother]It was your idea in the first place, buttknocker.
Hey don't call me "buttknocker" butt-head.
Turn on the lights, buttknocker. I can't see anything!
[Angrily] Stop calling me "buttknocker"!
Beavis, you buttmunch, turn on the light before I kick your ass!
[Calmly] Okay. That's better. [Switches the lamp on]
[Scoping the living room, which resembles their own living room] This is cool... So,uh... where do you think he killed him?
Hmm, let's see. It looks like he fell. I'd have to say he died right about here. [Points to an outline of the victim's lying position] Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa! [Walks toward tire iron] Check out this thing. [Picks up tire iron] I bet he hit him with this.
Don't be stupid, Beavis. That's for, like, changing tires and stuff.
Oh, yeah. [Throws tire iron right next to the lamp table] Whoa. [Spots a TV remote and picks it up] Hey, I got the remote. Let's see what's on TV.
Beavis, I told you I wasn't gonna let you touch the remote anymore. [Makes an unsuccessful grab for the remote] Now, give me that, buttknocker!
No way, and stop calling me "buttknocker"!
[Climbs toward Beavis] Give it here, before I kick your buttknockering ass! [Manages to grip the remote with Beavis still holding it, before they drop it on the floor]
Stop calling me that, Butt-head! [Punches Butt-head twice in the stomach] Stop it!
[Knees Beavis in the groin] Buttknocker!
Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up!! [Growls uncontrollably, Beavis and Butt-head fall behind couch] I'm gonna kill you, Butt-head!! I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you!!!
[knocks lamp over] Oh, yeah? [Throws punch at Beavis, most likely his head] You and what other buttknockers?
[Beavis and Butt-head fall on the couch, then the floor] Shut up, Butt-head!!
Buttknocker...
SHUT UP!
Buttknocker...
STOP IT!
Buttknocker...
I'LL KILL YOU!!!
[Barges in] GET HIM!
YOU SON OF A BITCH!! [Growls uncontrollably, then gets apprehended by the officers] Come on! Let me go! I'm gonna kill Butt-head! I'm gonna kill him! [Growls uncontrollably]
[Watches as Beavis is taken away] That was cool. [Laughs in lower pitch than normal] Uh huh huh huh.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
