Prison rules.
S3 E11Scared Straight
S3 E12Eating Contest
They're gonna lose.
Where's the bratwurst?
S3 E13Sporting Goods
(Reading Beavis and Butt-head's self written note) Please excuse Beavis and Butt-head from wearing althetic sip-otters. They were unable to buy them because of a national sip-otter shortage. Hell that's funny boys.
[Shows Beavis and Butt-head a front page with themselves wearing an eye patch as Athletic Guard.]
Accortding to the school press, you had no problem at all locating the necessary equipment.
S3 E14Sperm Bank
NNurse
Well gentlemen, go to work.
[Beavis unzips his pants]
NNurse
...On your tests.
...oh. [zips back up]
NNurse
Where's your container?
I was supposed to use a container?
[Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson and the sperm doctor are shocked to find the boys goofing off juggling the jars]
DDoctor
You kids are going to pay for those.
No problem dude, you want cash or should we go spank the monkey again.
Yeah.
What the hell!? These are the boy geniuses you're talking about!? What's so funny you little twerps!? I'LL SPANK YOUR MONKEYS!!!
He's fallen and he can't 'get it up'.
S3 E15Buff 'N' Stuff
You are what you eat! You got three food groups, and they sure as hell ain't fries, Chips Ahoy, and Milk Duds! And you all wonder why your faces look like topographic maps of the Himalayas!
Are you a man?
Uhhh, yeah.
What makes you think so?
Uhhh, I got testicles.
You think that makes you a man? I'll show you a real man... kick me in the jimmy.
No way!
I said do it!
[Butt-head kicks him in the nuts, Buzzcut strains]
Yyyyeessss! Do it again! do it HARD!
[Butt-head kicks him again, Buzzcut strains]
Yyyyeessss!!
Whoa, that was cool.
S3 E22True Crime
Huh huh huh. Maybe we should go buy something.
Yeah. Heh heh heh. Like what? Heh heh heh.
TATV announcer
Good evening and welcome to America's Most Hated. What you're about to see is a crime so heinous, so replusive, so actual, it may shake your very faith in human nature.
S3 E23The Trial
JJudge
You don't want me to appoint you an attorney, a lawyer who can take your case?
I can handle it, dude. I've like, seen The People's Court.
JJudge
You'll need someone who knows the laws, who's familiar with the penal system and--
[Laughing with Butt-head] She said penal.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.