[chortling] ...white people.
BeavisThis is like a boy band, but with just one person.
Yeah. And he actually is a boy.
Beavis
Yeah, he looks like he's 11. Yeah, check this out, Butt-head. Yeah, I mean this is kid, he's young you know, when he says, "Hey you wanna come back to my crib?" He means an actual crib! You know what I'm saying? He's young, so...
You're in rare form today, Beavis.
Beavis
Yeah yeah yeah, I don't wanna say he's young, but you know, this chick thinks he's got wood, but it's just his diaper's full. He's young, this kid! Hey-ooo!
JSJacob Sartorius
... nothing between us, but chapstick...
Beavis
"Nothing between us, but chapstick?" What's that even mean?
Well I'll tell you one thing that's not between him... pubic hair.
Beavis
Come on, Butt-head, that's kinda mean.
Uh, I don't care! He's rich, and he gets to score when he's 11? He'll be just fine.
Look at these special effects.
Beavis
These special effects suck.
Do you have to spit when you talk, Beavis?
Beavis
Yeah. I always try to hock a loogie when I talk.
You just spit in my eye, assmunch.
Beavis
Yeah! Yeah.
These guys seem pretty cool.
Beavis
Yeah, yeah. It's like, they kinda remind me of myself.
Yeah, right! You remind me of, like, Urkel.
Beavis
Shut up, Butt-head! I'm cool!
[a photo of a bicycle is shown]
Beavis
Hey, hey, THAT'S MY BIKE! Remember, my bike was stolen last week, that's it!
Uh...that's not your bike, Beavis.
Beavis
Yeah it is! That's my bike. That dude ripped off my bike!
Beavis
Uhh...um, uh, maybe not. These fartknockers ripped off my bike!
Dammit, Beavis, that's not your bike!
Beavis
That's my bike, Butt-head, how do you know?!
Because, Beavis, I stole your bike. It was cool.
Beavis
No way, Butt-head! You didn't steal my bike, you just got a new one last week. It looks just like mine.
Uh...okay, Beavis. You're stupid.
Beavis
Yeah. You know what else, someone else stole five bucks from me last week.
Hey Beavis, since you don't have that bike anymore, can I like, have your lock?
Beavis
Um, I guess.
Uh, I'll give you five bucks for it.
Beavis
Um, okay.
[video is set at a gas station]
Beavis
Um, what's wrong with this dude's hair?
Look who's talking, Beavis!
Beavis
What are you talking about, there's nothing wrong with my hair. My hair's cool.
Besides, that's not his hair, Beavis. He's like, wearing some kind of Davy Crockett hat or something.
Beavis
No way, Butt-head, that's his hair!
No it's not, Beavis! It's, like, a squirrel or something.
Beavis
Oh. Oh yeah.
Beavis
Whoa, check it out, Butt-head, they got Crocodile Dundee in the band!
Uh, it's pronounced "Dundee," Beavis.
Beavis
Oh yeah. I didn't know he played.
Yeah. He jams with Midnight Oil sometimes.
Beavis
Oh, really? He sounds better with these guys. I'm glad to see he hooked up with a good band. Yeah.
This dude's, like, getting on my nerves. It's like, quit wiggling around and get me some gas!
Beavis
Yeah, really! And check the oil, dammit!
Yeah! And wash my windows, buttknocker!
Beavis
Don't call him that, Butt-head.
Beavis
Dammit, Butt-head, don't call me that, I told you that before! And don't call him that, either.
[Brian Setzer plays his guitar in masturbatory fashion]
Beavis
Whoa, look, he's choking his chicken!
Beavis
Yeah. That was pretty cool. Hey, Butt-head. I might get a guitar. Yeah.
Yeah! Then in the morning, you could like, just say, "Uh, I'm practicing."
Beavis
Yeah, yeah. "I'm wack-tising." Yeah.
SThe Shamen
A great philosopher once wrote, "Naughty, naughty, very naughty."
Beavis
[imitating] Naughty! Naughty! Very naughty, naughty! Naughty, naughty! Naughty!
Beavis and Butt-Head · 2,204 quotes