Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

This is that video where Ariana Grande had a lab, and she was gonna cure cancer, but then she was just like, "Nah, let's just make a bunch of slut robots."

Beavis

Oh, yeah yeah, she's creating a Franken-slut. Yeah yeah! [the female robot comes to life] "It's alive! It's alive! It's a slut!"

Butt-head

Presenting the Slut-bot 3000, the cutting edge in slut technology.

Beavis

I don't know, Butt-head, it seems like all that metal would like cut up your schlong, you know?

Butt-head

That's why you'd need like a special metal robo-schlong.

Beavis

Oh yeah yeah, that would be cool.

Butt-head

She's gonna get it on with the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz.

Beavis

Oh yeah yeah, he's got an iron schlong. Yes.

Butt-head

Yeah, he'll be like, "Well, I guess I don't need a heart anymore."

Beavis

"If I only had a schlong..."

Butt-head

Tin Woodsman. [cackles]

Butt-head

Is this a Clearasil commercial?

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

This is stupid!

Beavis

Yeah. And it sucks, too.

Butt-head

Whoa! That chick is naked!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

She has the flag on her face.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republican for which it stands, invisible--

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis! We're missing this video! And it doesn't even suck.

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

That drummer has lights coming out of his butt.

Beavis

Yeah. Lights are cool!

Butt-head

Especially when they come out of your butt.

Butt-head

These guys must be, like, hallucinating.

Beavis

Yeah. Like back in the '60s, when you like, see stuff that you don't believe.

Butt-head

Yeah. I must be hallucinating now. I can't believe they're playing something cool.

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Toys are cool.

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

These guys rock!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! They rock!

Butt-head

GWAR kicks ass!

Beavis

Yeah!

Butt-head

[reacting to video] Oh no.

Beavis

Yeah. No! NO! NO! AHHH! GET AWAY!

Butt-head

Aaaahhhh!

Beavis

GET AWAY! AHHH!

Beavis

Oh my God!

Butt-head

Is this, like, a joke?

Beavis

Yeah! Yeah!

Butt-head

She's got one of those bathing caps on.

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

Hey, what's that noise?

Beavis

Umm...I think it's that chick.

Butt-head

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

What's this guy lookin' at?

Beavis

Yeah.

Beavis

[about Daryl Hall] This guy's hair is cool 'cause it looks like mine.

Butt-head

Yeah. And he's a maneater. Are you a maneater too, Beavis?

Beavis

Yeah. Yeah. I mean - I mean, no!

Beavis

Well, look at that. That's that chick.

Butt-head

Uhh...oh yeah! That chick.

Beavis

Yeah, she looks nice when she's dressed up!

Butt-head

Yeah! Not too shabby!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean...in that other video, she was just like, you know, looked all, I don't know, you know. I mean, she looked all right, you know. Ooohh!

Butt-head

Yeah, really! She looks kinda sexy!

Butt-head

How come chicks in videos never dress up? It's like, they always, like, come out all skanky looking.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. I think they do that on purpose, because they think that, like, people want to see 'em looking all skanky, but I think like, people don't really want to see that. People want to see 'em, like, you know, looking all sexy and you know, like, with some lipstick, and you know, some long hair, and you know, show a little bit of, uh, you know...

Butt-head

Yeah.

[whispers] Little fish, big fish, swimming in the water.

Beavis

Boy, this chick is freaky! This whispering is freaking me out, Butt-head, I don't like this.

Butt-head

Yeah. [whispers] I'm not gonna change the channel, Beavis.

Beavis

It doesn't freak me out when you do it, Butt-head. It sounds stupid when you do it.

Butt-head

Oh yeah? Well, you're gonna be freaked out when you find this remote shoved up your butt sideways.

Beavis

Um, that wouldn't freak me out that much, I'd just go to the bathroom and poop it out. I've done that before with stuff.

Butt-head

Is this foreign?

Beavis

Yeah.