Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, whose trailer is that?

Butt-head

Uhh...it kinda looks like my Uncle Mike's.

Beavis

Really? He has all those butterflies and crap on it?

Butt-head

No, you're thinking of my Grandma's trailer.

Beavis

Oh yeah. Your Grandma's a slut.

Butt-head

I know. So what?

Butt-head

Uhh...is this Sesame Street?

Beavis

Oh yeah, that looks like, uh...Grover.

Butt-head

You probably watch Sesame Street.

Beavis

No. I used to watch it when I was a kid. And sometimes, when Sesame Street on Ice comes to town, sometimes I go check that out.

Butt-head

You wussy!

Beavis

[sings] One of these things is not like the other/One of these things just doesn't, uh, belong...

Beavis

You know the guy that comes out, and he goes "Twelve chocolate cakes", and then he, like, falls on his butt, and the cakes spill all over the place? That was pretty cool.

Butt-head

Oh yeah. That was kinda cool.

Butt-head

Whoa! I've never seen a puppet with hooters like that.

Beavis

Those are some big boobs.

Butt-head

They probably have this chick on the show to teach kids the number 2.

Beavis

I'd say this puppet chick right here is one of the top three muppets that I would do.

Butt-head

Really? Who else would you do, Beavis?

Beavis

Well, Miss Piggy's kinda hot.

Butt-head

That fat pig?

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head! I like 'em with a little meat on their bones.

Butt-head

CROTCH STUFFING!

Beavis

Let's try that.

Butt-head

Yeah, maybe we would get some.

Beavis

Some what?

Butt-head

Dude.

Beavis

Nice organ lick.

Butt-head

Organ lick?

Butt-head

These guys are hippies.

Beavis

I hate hippies.

Butt-head

These are like sports bleepers.

Beavis

Sports suck!

Butt-head

This is like circus music.

Beavis

Yeah, this sucks!

Word up, this is Dr. Dre.

Beavis

Yeah yeah, it's Dre! Check it out, it's Dre! Droppin' plates on yo' ass, beotch!

Butt-head

Yeah! The D-R-E, out on a robbin' spree. A straight G.

Beavis

Um, you don't do that very good, Butt-head. It's like this: The D-R-E! A straight G!

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, how come I'm white?

Butt-head

Because your mom's white, dumbass.

Beavis

You know, my mom used to say it doesn't matter what color your skin is. It's like, what color your skin is on the inside that counts.

Butt-head

She's a slut.

Beavis

Oh yeah. She's a cleap slut.

Butt-head

Check it out, the Doctor's stealing a plane.

Beavis

Like, what do you do with a plane once you stole it?.

Butt-head

I guess you, like, go to the flea market or something.

Beavis

Oh really? But then, what do you do when someone says "So, where did you get this plane?"

Butt-head

I'd be like "Well, I got it from the airport." Cause they have a store there.

Beavis

Ah shut up, Butt-head. Keep that up and I'm gonna put the smackdown on yo' ass, beotch!

Butt-head

What did you say, Beavis?

Beavis

I said "Shut up". I'm gonna put the smackdown on yo' ass, beotch!

Butt-head

Beavis, your mom is a depraved worthless slut.

Beavis

Oh, yeah.

Butt-head

Aspen Extreme...

Beavis

That movie sucked! I sat through that whole damn sucky movie for two hours and that chick never got naked!

Butt-head

Yeah. It's a good thing we snuck into that movie, 'cause if we had to pay, I would have been kicking ass all over the place.

Beavis

Yeah, really. How could she not get naked, when they say "ass" right in the title?

Butt-head

Whoa. I didn't know that, like, rap dudes ski.

Beavis

Um, I don't think these are real rap dudes, Butt-head.

Butt-head

Yeah. They thought if they, like, went to a ski resort, that they'd be sure no real rap dudes would find them and beat the crap out of 'em.

Beavis

It's the only place they're safe! They probably, like, sit around the corner, and like, have their, like, big 40 ouncers of hot chocolate.

Butt-head

Yeah. No chicks, no butts.

Beavis

Get me some marshmallows, bee-otch! Change the channel, Butt-head, I've had enough of this.

Butt-head

Okay, I think it's over though.

Beavis

Ohhh, good it's over. [the song doesn't end] No, no.

Butt-head

Uh, now it's over.

Beavis

Oh, okay now it's over. Ahhhhhhhh! Oh no. Damn it! Come on, change it Butt-head, this song's never gonna end!

Butt-head

What a bunch of, buttmunches!

Beavis

Who is this chick?

Butt-head

Uh...I don't know. She looks like some chick you'd see hanging out in K-Mart.

Beavis

Um...I think I've seen this chick before.

Butt-head

Yeah. She did Prince.

Beavis

Oh, really? Well, at least that's something.

Butt-head

You know, they don't have to keep showing her face just because she's singing.

Beavis

Yeah, really. Like, move down and show her butt or something.

Butt-head

Yeah!

Butt-head

Look at this stupid stuff she keeps doing with her face.

Beavis

Yeah. This chick is pretty dumb.

Butt-head

Yeah, and she's probably a slut too.