Who is this chick?
Uh...I don't know. She looks like some chick you'd see hanging out in K-Mart.
Um...I think I've seen this chick before.
Yeah. She did Prince.
Oh, really? Well, at least that's something.
“E”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (24), Smart Beavis (23)
You know, they don't have to keep showing her face just because she's singing.
Yeah, really. Like, move down and show her butt or something.
Yeah!
Look at this stupid stuff she keeps doing with her face.
Yeah. This chick is pretty dumb.
Yeah, and she's probably a slut too.
Why do you think this chick like, dresses up like a slut?
Prince makes sure that all his women look like sluts.
Oh, yeah. That's one thing I like about him.
Yeah. He has a vision.
Yeah, me too. Someday, all of the girls in the world will come all onto me.
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes, Kisses Over Babylon
Um, is that Christ?
Uh, what language is he speaking? Uh, I think it's Mexican.
Um, you know Butt-Head, you really shouldn't say that, seriously. Come on. You know better than that.
Uh, oh yeah. It's Spanish.
Wow. So Jesus can speak Spanish? That's uh, that's pretty impressive you know, because it's not easy to learn a second language. Not anybody can do that.
It is a miracle.
Yeah, that Christ is something else. I didn't know he had it in him, you know?
Yeah. He may look like a bum, but he can do a lot.
[as prisoners try to escape prison] Wow, they really hate this song.
These people would rather get shot than listen to him anymore.
Elastica, Connection
Alright! A chick band. Look at all these naked dudes! They're just like sitting there! What's going on?
Yeah. Look, you can see that one dude's nutsack!
Look, a buttcheek! A schlong! A nad!
Those are just hands, Beavis. That's not his nads, his nutsack or his buttcheeks.
I don't know. You know, this is kind of messed up. It's like, they have all these dudes there, and like, they don't even think of them like people. They're just there, like they're these things for these chicks to look at and get off on, it's like, it's disgusting! This band should be ashamed of the way they're treating men, and um, and uh, these men shouldn't have the uh, they should not be in this video!
Uh, well...if these chicks asked you to get naked and be in their video, would you do it?
Uh, yeah! But that's different; see, but then it would be me, and I'd be naked. That would rule.
How come whenever you see a chick band, they're always looking down at their hands when they play?
Maybe they're looking at their boobs; did you ever think of that?
Oh yeah. I guess I would look at my boobs too.
Check it out. That drummer dude is surrounded by a bunch of naked dudes.
These chicks are pretty cool. They just have a bunch of naked dudes around so they can use them whenever they need it.
Yeah. Some bands have a bunch of water bottles and stuff around so if they get thirsty, but these chicks just like, keep naked dudes. That rules--you know, for a chick.
It's a pretty good idea. You'll probably see a lot more bands doing that now.
Carmen Electra, Everybody Get On Up
Is this a commercial?
Yeah, it's a commercial for MTV's House of Butt.
Electric Sun, The Night The Master Comes
Uh! This sucks!
Yeah! AAAAHHHH! It's like, it sucks!
This is horrible.
Yeah, and it sucks too.
Beavis, "sucks" isn't strong enough a word to describe this crap.
Yeah, it's like it sucks...a lot.
Eleven, Reach Out
Is this Boy George?!
Yeah. He's all fat now.
Yeah, yeah! I heard he's like, trying to be manly now, and he's not gonna dress up like a chick anymore.
He's a turd.
You know, he's bisexual.
Oh yeah. Um, I know what that means, but just as a test, why don't you tell me what that means?
Beavis, you dumbass, you don't know? It means he has two schlongs!
So, like, um...if you had two wieners, how many nads would you have?
Uh...I'd guess you'd have, you know, like three or something.
And then, whoa, I just thought of something else! So like, if you have two wieners, you know, if you go to take a leak, you just decide which one you're gonna take a leak out of...or you take a leak out of both of them...you know, sometimes you have a boner! Would you have both of them at the same time?
You should do stand-up comedy, Beavis.
Oh really? Thanks, I think so too.
Entombed, Wolverine Blues
Well, I guess I'll go take a leak.
No way, Beavis! I get to take a leak when the video sucks.
No way, Butt-head! I got up first!
Yeah, but I have to take a dump. That's more important.
No way, Butt-head! I was gonna take a dump too, I was just like, you know, embarrassed.
Well, you snooze, you lose. [leaves the room]
Uhh, this sucks. Hey Butt-head...[turns around and sees Butt-head has left] Oh. Um...guess I'll go take a leak. [gets up]
[calling from bathroom] Beavis, stay on the damn couch! [Beavis sits down]
[hums] Dun da da dun...da na nun dun...[calls out] Hey Butt-head, are you almost done in there?
Uhh, just a few more minutes.
Guess I'll go take a leak. [leaves the room. The sound of a door opening can be heard]
UH!
AAHH!!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BEAVIS?!
DAMMIT, BUTT-HEAD!!
NEVER COME INTO THE BATHROOM WHILE I'M TAKING A DUMP!!
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU'RE NOT TAKING A DUMP!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
I JUST HAVEN'T STARTED YET, GET OUTTA HERE, BEAVIS!!
YOU'RE JUST HANGING OUT IN HERE!!
DAMMIT, BEAVIS!! GO BACK AND WATCH THE DAMN VIDEO, AND LIKE, SAY STUFF!!
Maggie Estep, Hey Baby
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.