Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Hooligan's holiday...

Butt-head

Bennigan's holiday?

Beavis

Yeah. I thought they were open all the time.

Butt-head

Yeah. Someday, like, when I have a lot of money, I'm gonna go eat at Bennigan's.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. That would be cool. I heard they got, like, chicks in referee outfits.

She came in like a lightning strike, rode out like thunder on the pla-a-ains..

Old Butt-head

"Rode out like thunder on a plaaaay-aaaa-aaaaiiiiizzzz..."

Old Beavis

What kind of music is this?

Old Butt-head

Uhh, this is like, country and wusstern.

Old Butt-head

Seeing this video makes me wanna just like, pave this entire place and put a giant parking lot on it.

Old Beavis

Yeah yeah! Maybe some strip malls, or, you know what would be really good is like, a stadium to cover up those mountains. Just such a waste of space!

Old Butt-head

Yeah. And also, like, this makes me wanna pull up next to that horse in a giant SUV with the bass pumped up really loud.

Old Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Where's your open air now, huh? [imitates loud bass]

Old Butt-head

"Oh I'm sorry, did I give your horse asthma? Must be all the exhaust. Let me rev the engine a little more." The outdoors sucks.

Old Beavis

Yeah yeah! I'm glad mankind kicked its ass!

Old Butt-head

This dude's like, "Uh, you know what you need, Jesus? You need my hat on top of your cross."

Old Beavis

"Yeah yeah, that looks better."

Old Butt-head

"You're an honorary cowboy now, Jesus."

Old Beavis

I can't remember. What kind of hat does Jesus usually wear? He's got like a beret, or like a headband, or something?

Old Butt-head

It's like, a crown made out of barbed wire or something.

Old Beavis

Oh yeah, that's pretty metal.

Old Butt-head

That's nothing. You should hear how he died. Now that's really metal.

Old Beavis

Oh wow. Well, I hope those priests don't find out about it. They do not like the metal.

Butt-head

Uhh...well, there's a big eyeball.

Beavis

Yeah, they need more big eyeballs in videos, like a big pile of eyeballs.

Butt-head

Yeah. What is all this stuff?

Beavis

Yeah, really. It's like, they're running through the grass, and then there's like, a house.

Butt-head

Yeah. Whatever happened to chicks with big thingies and cleavage and stuff like that?

Beavis

Yeah. Seems like they don't do that anymore.

Butt-head

These guys need to spend more time with sluts.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. These guys aren't filthy enough.

Beavis

Whoa, are there like two lead singers for this band?

Butt-head

Uh, yeah. So what?

Beavis

Yeah but it's like, there's this dude, like, in overalls, and then there's this other dude.

Butt-head

So what, Beavis?

Beavis

I dunno, I just thought like, y'know, if there's two lead singers, it's like, y'know, that's something.

Butt-head

Hey, somebody's talking.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, what is that? I hate it when people talk over videos.

Butt-head

Yeah, there's some guy going...[mutters incoherent gibberish]

Beavis

Yeah, at least if they're gonna talk, like, break something and like, y'know, just do something.

Butt-head

Either follow or lead or get off the pot.

Beavis

Yeah, really. Get off the toilet!

Butt-head

These guys are like a cross between like, Stone Temple Pilots and like, just a bunch of regular guys.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like they're a cross between the Stone Temple Pilots and those dudes on Hee Haw.

Butt-head

Oh yeah. [sings] You met another and...[farts] ...you was gone.

Beavis

That was pretty good, Butt-head.

Butt-head

Whoa! Did you see that guy's cheeks?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! That was cool. I've seen that, like, in a bunch of other videos, too. I can get my cheeks to do that, like, if I eat a lot of peas.

Butt-head

No way, Beavis, I've never seen you do that!

Beavis

No, I'm talking about my buttcheeks.

Butt-head

Yeah!

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

They should put that in every video.

Beavis

Yeah. Yeah. That would be cool!

Beavis

Hey, Butt-head. What is all that stuff?

Butt-head

All what stuff?

Beavis

I don't know, all th - all this crap in this video, what is all this stuff? It's like...it's like, there's these...people, and then there's this stuff and, like, candles, and...and like, all this out-of-focus crap.

Butt-head

Uhhh...just the usual bunch of crap they always have on.

Beavis

Oh, is that what that is?

Butt-head

Uh, yeah.

Butt-head

I think this song is called "Blue Buddha."

Beavis

Oh yeah. Is that, like, when you get a blue veiner?

Butt-head

Yeah! Sometimes I wake up with a blue Buddha.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. This chick's giving me a blue Buddha right now.

Butt-head

Dammit, Beavis!

Beavis

Yeah!

Butt-head

Pull up your pants, cut it out!

Butt-head

These chicks look like guys.

Beavis

Yeah. That one's not wearing a bra.

Beavis

Hey Butt-head. I heard that these chicks' grandpa is Ozzy Osbourne.

Butt-head

No way, asswipe. They're Elvis' kids!

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

This video needs, like, more explosions and close-ups of butts.

Beavis

Yeah. They should have somebody come out and start kicking these guys! That would be cool!

Butt-head

Yeah! They could kick 'em! And punch 'em, too! Like Ice Cube! He could come out and kick all these guys! That would be cool!

Beavis

Yeah.

Just hangin' tough...

Butt-head

He said "hangin'."

Beavis

Yeah.