Abby quotes from Back at the Barnyard

Pig

Tell us another story, Santa.

Peck

Yeah, tell us a story!

Pip

Yeah, come on, Santa.

Abby

Tell us a huge one!

Another story? What is this, Santa's book club? Hey, next time I'll tell you about when me and Rudolph went on spring break. No hiding from the cops with that nose.

Hilly Burford live from downtown, where some kind of crazy laser-shooting robot ostrich is weaving a path of destruction!

[grabs Hilly Burford with his arms] Let me help you across the street.

Hey, that's quite all right. Just put me down, now- Whoa! [Robo(Peck) throws him to the TV Screen]

Abby

We gotta do something before he destroys the whole town!

Otis

There's only one way to stop him.

Please don't say peanut butter.

Otis

There's only two ways to stop him.

You mean-

Otis

Precisely! Come on, kids. We've got a cyborg to build.

Duke

Stamps, these are my friends, Otis, Abby, Pig, Pip...

Pip

What's up?

Duke

Peck...

Peck

Hi there.

Duke

...and Freddy.

It's nice to meet you. I can't stay long, Dukey. We just want to stop by and get your blessing, then it's off to Vegas for the wedding.

Otis

Vegas? That's practically in Asia. Why don't you guys just get married here at the barnyard?

Oh, we wouldn't want to be a bother.

Abby

Oh, it's no bother. The farmer is away for the whole week at Fire Dance Camp.

In that case, we loved to get married here!

Duke

So, Stamps, where's my future bro-in-law anyway?

Right behind me with the bags. Here he comes now.

Duke

Look at him, carrying your bags all gentlemanly. I like this guy already.

Thanks, Darren.

I like you, too.

Duke

Baxter?

That's right. Your sister and I are getting hitched.

Duke

Whoa, whoa! [pushes his nemesis aside] Stamps, you can't marry this guy. He's a total conman!

Otis

Yeah, he stole Duke's identity and try to get him kicked out of the barnyard!

Abby

And then he tricked the farmer into adopting him and got Duke kicked out of the house.

Pig

And once he cut off a guy's hand and expelled him from the Jedi Council!

Pip

Dude, that was a movie.

Pig

I like movies. [a flashback shows Pig, disguise as a boy, watching a horror movie in a movie theater] Don't go in there, the monster's in there! Don't do it, old friend! You believe this? It's like she's not even listening. [answers the phone] Hey, I'm at the movies. Alice just went into the room where Dracula is waiting. Well, of course, I've warned her!

Duke

I'm telling you, this guy is trouble.

Dukey, it's okay. Baxter has told me all about his past, but he's different now.

That's right, Dakron, your sister's love has made me a new dog.

Will you please give us your blessing, Dukey? Please? [looks at her brother with puppy dog eyes]

Duke

Oh, geez, with the puppy dog eyes? Alright. But I'll be watching you, buddy. [makes an "I'm watching you" gesture]

Thanks, Dukey! Ain't that wonderful, honey?

It sure is, Cuddle-wuggles. Give me some sugar.

Pig

Pancakes are ready!

Duke

Pig, that's cement.

Pig

Ah. Then, I'm very ill.

Abby

How long does cement take to dry?

Otis

Oh, about this long. [dries the cement with a blowtorch] Voila! Instant speed bump! No hot-wheelin' grannies are gonna turn my friends into roadkill!

[to Freddy and Peck] Know what I like about you guys? NOTHING!

Freddy

Meanie!

Peck

Oh, it hurts!

[to Abby] You have beautiful hair, ON YOUR UPPER LIP!

Abby

Why'd you have to say that?!

[to Pip] How's the weather down there, SHORTY?!

Pip

But I'm taller than you. It still hurts!

Otis

Listen, wormy. What say you just get on your hate wagon and hit the road?

Okay, dugly! I called you "dugly", 'cause you're dumb AND ugly!

Otis

Yeah, that's great. Look, your little schoolyard taunts don't work on me, so why don't you just dive back into your hole, and leave us alone?

You have to hang bacon around your neck just so puppies will play with you!

Otis

[in tears] How did you know that?! I'm a nice guy! Why do I have to hang bacon around my neck?! [weeps] Don't look at me!