Pip quotes from Back at the Barnyard

Pip

[to Abby, about Otis] He's still upset about the Farmer. You know how it is when a friend tries to barbecue you.

Pip

[after winning the poker game] Wow, Duke, I play with a lot of great poker players, and you're not one of them!

Pip

[when a dinosaur hatches out of the egg] Dude, that's no giant chicken! That's a Godzilla!

Pip

The Quick Fryer Mark IV. Hmm.

Abby

That's a weird name for a stereo.

Otis

Now, now, now, watch and learn, okay? The CDs go in here. [opens the lid] Then you crank up the volume right here. [turns a knob, causing flames to erupt from the machine]

Pip

And then, you run away and scream.

Otis

AAAAH!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

Otis

The farmer is a total vegan, guys.

Bessy

Vegan, my rump! You know what I heard? I heard he ate an entire village down in Mexico.

Otis

'Kay, pretty sure that's not true. The farmer absolutely has no interest in meat whatsoever.

Pip

Here comes the carnivore!

Freddy

This is horrible! My dearest friends are gonna be barbecued! [sobs] Mmm, mmmmmmmm. I mean... [sobs]

Duke

I'm too young to be eaten. Too young!

Pip

Dude, get a grip. You're a dog. The farmer's not going to eat you.

Duke

What, you're saying I wouldn't be nice with some low-fat chips and a nice cherry cola?

Otis

Alright, enough with the chips and the cola! This is crazy talk, people, come on! Even if the Farmer came in and dipped us in seasonings, I still wouldn't believe it.

Pip

Captain Cold Cuts, two o'clock!

Pip

We're ready to go, Otis!

Otis

Has the escape pod been built to my exact specifications?

Pip

Yeah, listen, we couldn't get an escape pod, so we had to go a little more low-tech.

Otis

Okay. So, no warp drive?

Pip

Uh, no.

Otis

Thrusters?

Pip

Uh-uh.

Otis

Air brakes?

Pip

No.

Otis

Doors?

Pip

Negative.

Otis

Is there a floor?

Pip

Uh, define floor.

Otis

Alright, well, uh, we got hot air. That's a thing, right? Where do we get that?

Pip

You don't wanna know.

Pig

My work here is done.

Otis

Now, the Farmer we've loved is gone for good, but we can still end his carnivorous reign of terror!

Pig

Mmm, pass.

Pip

Pass.

Abby

Pass.

Freddy

Big pass. Huge pass.

Otis

That's pathetic. Did Luke Skywalker pass when he had to blow up the Death Star? Did Tarzan pass when Jane was threatened by the Chimp King? Did that guy... pass... when he had to do the thing... in the place with those people?! You bet he didn't! NOW, WHO'S WITH ME?!

Otis

[gripping his own neck, using ventriloquism with his other hoof; high-pitched voice] Get in the cart or the cow gets it.

Freddy

Don't hurt him! Please don't hurt him!

Peck

Otis, we are so sick of this stupid game of yours!

Bessy

Yeah, I hope you're faster than a speeding butt-whoopin'!

Otis

Whoa, citizens no likey the Cowman.

Abby

Now, you listen, Otis, your idea to fight evil around the barnyard by becoming a superhero is just plain--

Freddy

Dumb! D-U-M-N-7-L, dumb!

Pip

Dude, there's no "L" in "dumb-7".

Otis

They're just wrong, Pip. I know we have what it takes to be superheroes.

Pip

We're way better than most of those other costumed losers out there.

Otis

Yeah, like the aqua dude. I mean, his tights are silly, and how much crime really happens underwater?

What do you think, Otis? She's all repaired and ready to go.

Pip

Whoa, no way! Otis can't fly this thing; he can barely drive a stick.

Otis

Pip, relax. It's just a simulated flight. I mean, you know, Bingo wouldn't put his top test cow in any kind of danger.

Simulated. Yeah, you took these words right out of my mouth. [takes a control device from his spacesuit] Oh, oh, oh, and by the way, one little thing. It's not! [presses a button, trapping Otis and Pip inside the rocket]

Otis

What? Hey, what's going on? We're trapped!

That's right, cud boy, I'm sending you into orbit. Of course, there's no biggie for someone with your vast space experience.

Pip

Ground Control to Major Monkey. He lied!

Otis

We were nice to you. We said you could stay with us and some of us licked you. Why are you doing this?

Because I spent my whole life taking orders from humans. And I'm not about to start taking them from a cow. Any-moo, ten, nine, other numbers, blast off! [presses another button on the control device and the rocket lifts off, causing Otis and Pip to scream] [hooting] That's the last time we're ever going to hear from Otis the Daring Space Cow.

Abby

Bingo, what's going on?

Pig

What happened to Otis and Pip?

I sent your leader and his little-rat friend on a one-way trip. You're all taking orders from me now.

[singing] Good riddance, Mrs. Beady! Good riddance, Mrs. Beady! Good riddance, Mrs. Beady-y-y-y-y-y...!

Otis

[singing] You nosy meddlesome crank!

Otis

This is one sweet deal. We get some much needed "us" time, and Mrs. Beady gets to make macaroni bracelets at Camp Drools-A-Lot.

Freddy

[worried] Oh, sure. If as she doesn't mind the straitjackets, the padded cells, the burly nurses force-feeding you applesauce...

Otis

What? Freddy, what are you talking about?

Freddy

And don't get me started on the shock therapy! Zzz-ding! Zzz-ding! Soup's on!

Otis

Ah, stop! What do you mean? Shock therapy? Why would anyone do that to her?

Pip

Otis, she said talking animals crashed her car. That sounds crazy to me, and I'm a talking animal.

Freddy

Zzz-ding!

Otis

This is awful, and it's all our fault. Mrs. Beady may be annoying, but she's still our friend. Neighbor. Well, lady. Alright, organism. It doesn't matter! We are breaking her out of Camp Hoo-Hoo! [the other animals look disappointed] Alright, after we eat the cake.

Otis

[writing personal advertisement for the Farmer] Let's see now...Gloomy farmer seeking anyone with pulse. Hmm...We should hot it up a little.

Pip

Write he's rich. The ladies love cheddar.

Otis

[writing] Rich farmer.

Abby

And he got to have muscles!

Otis

[writing] Rich, beefcakey farmer.

Pig

Yes, but don't write farmer! Write [writing] exploding lion tamer.

Abby

Even more bulky! And write that he has a pony! [writing] Has a pony...

Otis

Okay, I will read it to you. Reflag 7-star number sign glare...Man, I wish we had fingers!

Pip

I can do it. [jumps on the keyboard] There, what do you think?

Otis

[reading] Wealthy, agricultural mogul with body of a Teutonic god wants to share his heart with you.

Pip

Check it out. That's the sixth night in a row they've been out together.

Otis

And you know what that means.

Pig

Their next date is free with the purchase of a large soda?

Otis

No. It means that the Saturday night party train is pulling back into the station! All aboard!

Otis

Otis wants to part-ay! Abby likes to part-ay! Pig, he is so pork-ay! Ferret, he likes satay!

Pip

Hey, he's cured!

Pig

Uh, never say "cure" to a pig.