[Leaving the bar, the lads start to make their way to Oz's car.]
Hey, why'd you have to give that German fella money anyway, Dennis?
Well, he got us the job, man. See, that's like his backhander, yer kna.
[A young lad in a red jacket with raven black hair with blue streaks, his bags, a spirit level and a Cockney accent exits the railway station]
WayneOy, oy! What's the word, then, eh?
Eh? What's the what then?
Wayne
How's it going?
All right. [They walk off, but the man follows them to the car.]
Wayne
You said you were off to, er, Düsseldorf, is that right?
Er... might be. [They open the car doors.]
Wayne
Got a car, then?
Wayne
Hey, any chance of a lift, like?
I'm afraid not, son. See, we've got all wor gear an' there's the three of us, like.
Wayne
Yeah, yeah. Thanks. Do the same for you sometime, right(?) [Walks off, annoyed.]
Spurs. You can tell, man.
[Oz's car finally packs in on the Autobahn just outside Düsseldorf. They're stranded on the hard shoulder...]
[Under the hood with Dennis] Turn it over, Nev. Give it another try. [Neville does so, but it's no good.]
[A lorry passes by, but slows down on approaching the lads. The Cockney they met in Nijmegen pops his head out of the window.]
Wayne
'Ey, 'ey? What's the word then?
Choked's as good a word as any!
Wayne
[Laughs at the lads' misfortune] I might've given you a lift, y'know, but there's, er, not enough room for the three of you!
Ho'way with yer, London. We'll manage!
Wayne
See you in church! [The lorry drives away]
[Gets out of the car and checks underneath] Bottom of the sump's dropped off!
The sump, man! The oil's all run oot! Engine must have seized.
Nah. It's a new engine, that. [Frustrated, Neville gets the bags out of the car.]
If we get this fixed in a German garage, will the insurance cover it?
I doubt it very much, it's not insured.
It has to be insured, man, otherwise you couldn't've got the green card to get the car out of England.
Ah, well I cancelled the insurance when I got the green card to give us a bit of spendin' money for when I got 'ere, y'see.
You were ganna drive all the way to Germany without insurance? What if we had a crash? Eh? What if we'd ended up in a German hospital? We're not on the German national health, yer kna!
But we could've done! What if the engine had seized on the fast lane, eh? One of the them big juggernauts up our arse?
We've never been in the fast lane.
Should never have left nowt to you! [Slams the driver door shut in frustration] I won't again. You're totally irresponsible, you, Oz! It has to be said!
[Oz, Dennis, Neville, Wayne and Bomber get their pay packets]
There ya go, Nev. That makes it all worthwhile, eh? First pay packet.
PPfister
What? You are leaving?
And not soon enough, me ol' duck! Got a nice job lined up, I have. Bristol, new bypass. Good money, home every night and English ale. [Walks off]
[Sotto voce to Neville] If, eh, they need a brickie, I'll steam in there Monday, all reet?
[Barry arrives at the site on his motorbike]
Wayne
Who's this then? Barry Sheene?
[Stops his bike in front of the three Geordies. Wayne also approaches] Hello again, Dennis!
Wayne
Oh yeah? Don't believe I've had the pleasure, son!
Ah, Barry! Barry Taylor. [Shakes Wayne's hand]
Thought you'd, er, gone to Mönchengladbach.
Ah, I didn't like one bit, did I? Didn't like the place nor the site! [Looks around] This looks alright, though! It's got a sort of... better air, hasn't it? Need electricians, do they?
Wayne
Capo's in the hut.
Ey, I'll chance me arm here then!
[Holding up his bandaged hand] I do that every day!
Wayne
Hey, she was a bit tasty that interviewer, eh? Old Nev should've steamed in there!
Aye, they've got some canny boilers, the Germans, like, I'll give 'em that.
But nothin' else, though.
. Well, the beer's passable. [His comments start attracting the attention of a few German workers]
No, no, no. To be fair, I've only been here three weeks, I mean.
Doesn't make any difference, does it? You could be here three years, and all you'd see was bierhalles, massage parlours...
So yer gettin' at me again? [Bomber nods]
Look, you could use workin' here as an education, yer kna. You could learn from it.
Look, man, look. I lay bricks, that's what I do. I get up in the morning and for eight hours a day, five days a week, I lay bricks, alreet? It doesn't make no difference to me if it's Dusseldorf or Darlington. I just lay bricks man. [The German workers shake their heads and prepare to confront Oz.]
It depends how you use your time off, don't it, eh? I mean Nev's got the right idea, he's integrating himself, I mean.
Yeah, that's what Kevin Keegan did. When Kevin Keegan went to Hamburg, he made a real effort to adapt...
[To Dennis, who's gone to the bar] Get us a bottle, will ya?
And Mrs. Keegan! They learn the language, and they made a wide variety of friends amongst the German community.
Oh, aye? So how come he transferred to Southampton, then? I mean Germany must be pretty desperate if he preferred Southampton!
[Returning to the table with some more beers] Have yer been there, like, have ya? [Three of the German workers stands behind Dennis.]
GWGerman worker
I have a question for you.
Oh aye? Wanna see me papers, do ye?
GWGerman worker
If Germany is such no good place, why don't you piss off back to England? [Dennis winces as Oz breaks a bottle and grabs the German worker]
[To the barman] Six pils, and six rounds of ham and cheese. [Oz enters the bar, the lads say nothing.] What'll it be, Oz?
[To the barman] Another pils.
Oh don't be daft, he only wants a swift half.
[Gets up and approaches the bar] All right.
That don't count! Come on, man. Give him a beer. [The barman reluctantly puts a seventh beer on the table. Oz goes over to the others.]
Did you get the boot then?
Aye, yeah. [He sits at the table, with the others, followed by Barry and Dennis, who puts a beer in front of Oz.]
I'm really sorry, Oz. I didn't mean...
Oh nae, it's not your fault, Neville, it's them bastards!
Come off it. You've only got yourself to blame, you brought this on yourself.
Because you're always soundin' off at the Germans! They're just a canny bunch of lads, same as the rest of us!
Well, alright, he's a hardnose. But it's his job, man.
Well Ulrich can put his job right in the shit, couldn't he, if you'd've back us up!
Wayne
What do you mean "back"?
Oh, right, like a confrontation with the management over his unfair dismissal.
What good d'ya think that's gonna do?
Well it's ganna leave 'em short, isnit? Then what's he ganna dae?
He's gonna ring the agent and order another six Brits! He's got plenty to choose from, there's three million unemployed back home!
Well, it shouldn't be allowed. It's shouldn't! I mean, we've got wor rights, haven't we?
We haven't got any rights, Oz! We're on the lump, man, we're black. Look, if you want worker's rights, then register with the Germans. Pay them income tax, welfare, insurance. Can't have it both ways.
[Quietly] Right. So... [Louder] So... What yer sayin' is you won't back us up! One of yar own mates! Is that it?
Look, Oz, I'm sorry you got the boot, right? We all are. But I can do sod all about it.
Well you're the one that talked Grunwald into letting Neville stay, aren't ya?
There were two other factors that helped Neville: A - the bomb, and B - your big mouth.
Look, I've seen blokes like you come and go all the times I've worked in Germany. Never been out the UK before. Never eaten foreign food, never drank foreign beer. Fish out of water without the wife or the mother to lend a guiding hand. After a week they've lost their passports, they've got pissed, lost most of their money, and become ridiculously nationalistic for the country that can't even bloody employ them in the first place. man! [Oz gets up and walks towards the exit]
Me? No, no, I know when I'm not wanted? [Exits the bar.]
[After the German workers convince Herr Grunwald to reinstate Oz, the lads decide to invite them to the hut for some beers and a game of darts. Bomber and Moxey put a light above the dartboard]
[Plugs the light in] That's it. Perfect. [The light is a bit dim.]
Could've done with a stronger bulb, though.
[Takes a beer from a crate] D'you reckon we've got enough in, Den?
Well if there's not, it's easy enough to get some more, innit?
Aye, ey, they drink a bit, them Jerries! Maybe as much as us!
Listen, Oz, Listen, everybody, it's because of those Jerries that Oz is still here. Don't want anybody forgetting that, right? [Murmurs of agreement] When those German scaffolders turn up tonight, let's all make sure that we have a good night. Agreed? You especially, Oz.
And this darts match, right, it's not the World Cup, or a replay of World War II. It's just meant to cement the harmony and the goodwill amongst the British and the Erics. Agreed? [Murmurs of agreement] Good.
Mind you, it might only be a darts match, but us British have still got to try and hammer these Germans.
Wayne
What for?
'Cos they're the bastards that bombed me granny!
It's ten to six, yer kna.
Yes. Yes, it is, yes, Oz.
Yeah, but he was supposed to be here at two o'clock!
Well, maybe his car broke down.
Well I can think of better things to do than hang around here on a Friday night freezin' me nuts off.
[Dagmar and Ulrich exit the office, their working day done.]
Wiedersehen, Dagmar. Oh, schönes Wochenende. (Goodbye, Dagmar. Have a nice weekend.) [Some of the workers wolf whistle and make suggestive noises at Dagmar as she walks past. Ulrich approaches Oz] What's this? Some kind of British protest meeting?
We want wor wages, don't wa?
It is not my responsibility, it's the agent who pays you.
We know that, we know that, we just don't know where he is, man.
This is your business, it is not mine.
Oh well that's alright, but if we don't get paid, we just don't come to work next week, alreet?
Well, then I send for more out-of-work Engländers. [He gets in his car.]
We'll get no joy out of him, y'know. [Ulrich drives away, but not before Magowan furiously slams his hand on the roof of the car.]
[Entering the hut] Hey, yer seen them lunatics standin' out there, eh? As if that's ganna make him turn up any faster, y'know what I mean, eh!
Mind, Mr. Pfister's never usually this late, Dennis. I like to get to the post office on a Friday night, that way Brenda gets her money first thing Monday morning. [Moxey pulls the towel all the way over his head and over the bowl.]
Ey, there's no panic, man. I mean, yer kna, Don't forget... [Lights his cigarette] This bloke, he must cover, what, fifteen sites in a day, y'know. He could've got held up, had a puncture, yer kna, anything.#
[Lifts up his towel] It's like what Bomber told us the other day... [sniffs] ...there were thirty other Brits, y'know, when he was workin' in Essen a year ago waiting for their money. The agent never turned up at all.
[Pulls the towel back over the bowl and coughs before pulling the towel back] Well, it turns out... he'd legged it to Hamburg. Left his wife, took all their money and some young Fräulein, y'know, from the a-architect's office. [Coughs and covers his head again.]
Well, I've had enough of this. I mean, there's no point in standin' here like spare pricks at a wedding, is there? I mean, he knows where we live, doesn'he? [Turns and heads back to the hut]
You're right. Might as well get back and put the kettle on, eh? [Also turns and leaves]
Wayne
Ah well, can't keep a nice young Fräulein waiting, I'd better wash me barnet, eh? [Turns and leaves. Barry follows suit.]
[Brandishing a hosepipe connected to a gravel suction pump] Well I'm gonna wait it out. Y'know what I'm gonna do when he does turn up?
I'm gonna connect 'im to this hosepipe there and I'm gonna blow gravel right up his jacksie.
Ah, yes, that is one approach, Magowan, yeah. On the other hand, you could always take a hard line though(!) [Magowan throws down the hosepipe and glares menacingly at Barry, who promptly backs away and heads with the others to the hut.]
What's got into you, Brenda? ...What do you mean "loonin' around"? ...Of course I'm in the bar, man! That's where the telephone is, isn'it? ...No, there's naebody here but Wayne and Barry playin' cards. ...Eh? Oh, hang on, pet... [puts another coin in the slot] Hang on, man!
[Wayne and Barry are indeed at the bar playing cards.]
[To the barman] Two pils, please. [To Wayne] What about Neville?
Wayne
[Looks at Neville] He ain't started his first yet. Too busy getting stick from the wife. I dunno, comes in here faithful every Monday, fistful of change, five minutes after the cheap rate starts, rings the missus, good as gold. Gets a verbal bollocking off her. I don't understand married men meself!
I think I know the reason for this.
Wayne
Oh yeah?
Yeah, you have a deep-rooted dislike of women. [Wayne is somewhat taken aback by this] Which explains why you have no desire to form a permanent relationship. You're obviously the product of a broken home, right, where you're brought up by parents who fought all the time. [Wayne looks at Barry] I can see you as a child, lyin' awake until the early hours, listenin' to your parents fighting in the living room below. I think a thing like that scars a child for life.
Wayne
Well I suppose it would, yeah.
Bound to, innit? I thought I'd hit the nail on the 'ead!
Wayne
So, erm... How comes my folks have just had their silver wedding, then? [Turns over a winning hand with his cards. Barry looks confused.] Don't be so put out, they're over the moon about it!
No, no, you know, I'm chuffed for 'em. Really, yeah. Chuffed.
[Oz enters the bar, having fixed the broken radio he bought earlier]
Wayne
Oh yeah?
Listen to this. [Turns it on, it plays loud music.]
[Turns round, still on the phone] Turn that down will yer?
[Back on the phone to Brenda] No, pet! I'm not in a discotheque!
Morning, campers! Rise and shine!
Well, it's not the Duke of Edinburgh, is it?
[Waking up] I was fast asleep...
Howay, Dennis, man! G'mornin'! Work to be done!
[Throws his bed covers off] Why din' ya pack it in, man!
Thought you'd gone for good.
Nah, yer can't get rid of me that easy, mate.
[Waking up] Oh, I'm dreamin' and havin' a nightmare, Oz has come back!
Wayne
Where'd you spring from, then?
Been back home, havven' I? Cadged a lift back home with the lads after the match. Well, why not, you know? Go back home, have a couple of pints with the lads in The Crow, see the wife...
Certainly. While I was back, I might as well sort her out.
Aye, I heard you'd been back home.
I was talkin' to Brenda, she told us.
Ah well look, from now on, we'll just keep the wives' mafia out of our affairs, shall wa? 'Cos one of the good things is Marjorie doesn't know I'm in Dusseldorf. In fact, as far as she's concerned, it's the last place she'll think of lookin' for us! I'm not here, me, I'm the Invisible Man! [Checks his belongings]
Well I can't think of anyone less invisible than you, Oz!
...Hey, where's me stereo?
Wayne
Oh, I've got that, Oz.
Wayne
No, it's.. it's mine now.
Wayne
Yeah, I sort of bought it.
Er, I think an explanation is in order. Err, Dennis...
Well, Oz, it's, er... like this. Us lads, like, we thought we'd seen the last of you, yer kna. Thought you'd gone for good. So we said to worselves, "What shall we do with his stuff?"
So what did you do with it?
Well, we went through your locker, you know, thinkin' you'd need the money. [Oz checks his locker] And the only things we found of any value were your donkey jacket, your digital clock and your stereo.
And they're gone an' all! Where are they?
Well, eh, we had an auction, Oz.
It was a democratic decision. I've got the digital clock.
Wayne
And, er, I got the stereo.
[Looks round] What a bloody nerve!
No, wait a minute! Look, we weren't selling you short. I mean, we raised 230 quid! That plus yer three days wages came to nearly £400!
[Flabbergasted] Oh that's not so bad, 'cos I can borrow a bit to get back! [To Wayne, pointing at the stereo] I'm buyin' that straight back, mate! [To the others] Where's me money?
Er... Well, the thing is, Oz, thinking you'd need the money, like, yer kna, we, er... sent it home.
Home?! But I'm here, man! What's ganna happen to it?
[Smirking] Well, I think your wife'll find a use for it!
[Torrential rain has brought all work on the site to a halt. In the hut, Barry writes a letter, while Wayne, Neville, Bomber and Oz play pontoon with a pack of lewd playing cards. Moxey is in bed with the flu.]
[Looks outside] It's like a bleedin' quagmire out there, innit? [To Moxey] Reckon we'll be laid off?
[All stuffed up] Suits me. I'm not well. [Sneezes into a hankie.]
Still ploatin' doon, isn'it?
Wayne
"Ploatin' doon"? An' what's that supposed to mean, then?
Yer kna... hoyin' it doon, man. Cats and dogs. It's pissin' down, isn'it?
At least that's English. It's easier to learn German than understand Geordie.
Wayne
Look, are we playing cards or what?
It comes from the French - "pleut". [Wayne rolls his eyes.] So, to "pleut" means "to rain" in French. At least, I think it does.
Wayne
Yeah, well you're an educated man you are, Nev. O-Level in woodwork. Can't argue with that, can we(?) [Neville gives Wayne the two-fingered salute.] Do you wanna twist or buy?
Nah, I'll stick with these, thanks.
[One of the Turks enters the hut to bring fuel for the stove. He leaves the door open.]
Wayne
[To the Turk] Door!
I'll stick. [Gets up to shut the door.]
Brought up in a t-tent you were, Ayatollah!
Oh, leave the lad alone, we needs the warmth. [Shuts the door.]
Right, er, twist us a seven. [Wayne deals a card] Nine. Perfect(!) [He's bust, he throws his cards to the table.]
Wayne
[Turns over his cards] Eighteen, pay nineteens.
[As he and Bomber throw their cards down] Can you believe his luck?
[Noticing the Turk standing by the stove with the wood in a bucket] Just leave it down there, Ayatollah. We'll manage it. Just get out. [The Turk sets the bucket down and starts observing the game.]
Wayne
If I'd known I was going to be put in with you lot, I'd have taken a bloody language course! I'd have gone to that place in Oxford Street, you know? The Berlitz School, and taken elementary Geordie for beginners! :[The Turk takes a keen interest in Neville's cards.]
Hey, Ayatollah! That's all right. Sling yer hook. Get out! [The Turk finally takes the hint and leaves.]
Look at these cards. I must have killed a Chinaman.
A lot of Geordie derives from Denmark. Scandinavia. 'Cos of the Vikings, see? They came over our way first.
Well, they still do, don't they? They shop at Marks & Sparks!
[Meanwhile, Dennis is in the site office. Herr Ulrich enters.]
Er, just checking, Herr Ulrich, the lads were wondering what the possibility is of resuming work.
[Taking off his raincoat] Very small. The forecast is continual bad.
Well, we don't mind working the weekend, yer kna, to make up for it.
No, it's not popular with the German workers.
Well, can I just clarify one thing? I mean, we still get paid, don't we? I mean, the weather, that's not down to us, is it?
Well, the weather's very English, I think.
Yeah, but we'd still get paid in England.
Ja, but in Germany, you're self-employed. No work, no pay.
Well when I read the contract, it didn't read like that to me.
No? Please, read the small print.
Hey, I nearly drowned out there, man!
What's mein Führer say, then?
'Fraid not, bonny lad. Some chippies have got some indoor work, but us lot can forget it.
I was really hoping to put in some overtime this week.
Oz What, to compensate for your pontoon deficits?
Well, a little break won't do us any harm, eh?
Yeah, but Brenda wants to retile the bathroom.
Aye well, you shouldn't play cards, should yer?
I wouldn't be playing if it wasn't raining!
You really reckon Monday, Dennis?
It's Friday now, Barry, and the forecast...
[Checking the change in his hand] I'd better phone her I suppose.
Nae bother, man. Just reverse the charges. It's only England.
I was really counting on that extra.
It's bound to happen, man. It happens at home, doesn't it, the weather?
Wayne
[Getting up] If that's the word then, I know a young Fräulein who won't be too upset. I'd better press me old whistle, haven't I, eh?
It's one of them things, Neville, man, yer kna. We might as well make the most of it.
...I dunno. Somethin'. Pictures, eh? Hey, we could hire a car, couldn't we? Drive off overnight, like. [Sits at the table where Oz is still fiddling with the deck of cards]
Berlin, man. Can we gan to Berlin, Den? I've always wanted to gan to Berlin.
Well, I divvn't kna, man. I mean it's, er... It's historic, isn'it? I mean it's interesting. After all, it is Berlin, isn'it?
It's probably raining there an' all.
No, no, man. But think of it. Berlin, man! Yer kna, spies, the war, Hitler's bunker...
Ahh, do us a favour, man, Bomber.
Hey, you could gan to East Berlin, Oz.
What? Behind the Iron Curtain?
Let's all spend the weekend in East Berlin.
Apparently, it's the most miserable, depressing place you've ever seen in yer life.
[Wayne goes on a date. He gets in his date's car]
Wayne
[Adjusting his hair in the rear-view mirror] It's worse than England!
Wayne
The weather. It makes me feel quite nostalgic. [They drive off.]
IIngrid
What would you now be doing if you were now in London?
Wayne
As it's Friday, I'd probably be working. Or on the dole.
Wayne
It's the unemployment. We're big on that in England. It's one of our few spectacular successes(!) Right, we've managed to put more people out of work than any of our European counterparts.
Wayne
And then I've got mates my age who ain't worked since they left school. Mind you, some of them it suits down to the ground.
IIngrid
So, what do they do?
Wayne
Well... they sort of put their energies into other things. Hence the violence at West Ham.
Wayne
It's a football team.
IIngrid
Oh! And you go to football?
Wayne
Nah, I'm well out of that.
IIngrid
I work in England.
Wayne
Yeah right, you said. Where was it?
IIngrid
Maidstone. It was not far from London.
Wayne
Maidstone, eh? No shortage of action there then, eh?
IIngrid
They were very nice, the family I work with. He was an airline pilot, and she too was working. She was teaching young children.
Wayne
And, er... that's where you learnt to speak such good English, eh?
IIngrid
Huh. I don't speak too good, I think.
Wayne
Yeah, well... You don't have to, do you?
IIngrid
[Stops the car] What do you mean?
Wayne
Where I come from, you're what's known as a very tasty bird.
IIngrid
That is what the airline pilot tells me!
[To Neville] Look, I'm not accusing you of anything.
Yeah y'are, you all are! I come in here, it's like the Spanish inquisition! It's none of your business!
I think it is, bonny lad.
But if I pinched Oz's watch, how much would that've fetched at the pawn shop?
Ay, it was a canny watch, that, man!
Oh, and I've just pretended to have me money pinched to cover up? Ohh, howay.
Look, just hear me out, will yer? Look, you are the last person in the world to steal anything, right...
But yer have got money troubles.
[To Oz] Shut up! [To Neville] So, if you're desperate enough to get into hock, I'd like to know about it, 'cos I'd like to help.
Well, personally I don't think he's got anything of any personal value...
Oh, he still thinks I took his bloody watch!
Oz, don't be a prick all your bloody life! Take an hour off, will yer?
Look, it's nobody's business but me own! [Frustrated, he sits on his bed.]
Wayne
Listen, Nev, what Dennis says goes for all of us. I mean, if you're strapped or in a jam or something, we'd like to help you out. I mean, that's the word, innit, lads?
Absolutely. [The lads murmur.] Look, we're all in your corner, kid. [Sits on the bed next to Neville]
Look, you don't have to tell...
Naw, let 'im get it off 'is chest, man!
I met this lass, y'see. Nothin' special, but I didn't want to know 'cos I knew what you'd all think.
Wayne
Who was she, then?
Nobody you'd know. Anyway... I met her, right. And when I seen her yesterday, she gave us this present, er... a bit of jewellery, a keepsake, like. Then this mornin' I gets a letter from Brenda and... it just brought home how short wor are, or... how short she is, and then... so... I pawned the lass's present.
Wayne
Leave it out, Oz!
I know it wasn't a very nice thing to do, but like you say I was strapped. I got twenty-five quid for it, and that's nearly what I had pinched. It's one way of lookin' at it, isn'it?
[Happy with Neville's explanation] Right. That's all that sorted out! Let's all go over to the greasy spoon, eh, and drink to this satisfactory conclusion. [To Oz, sarcastically] Eh, good the the morale of our hut? Eh? [The lads make their way out, except Wayne and Neville]
Wayne
Here, Nev. You gotta get that thing out of hock. Sentimental reasons, innit? Look, I'll loan you the readies, and you pay me back.
Wayne
No, you're all right. How about tomorrow lunch? You on?
Well, I do feel a bit bad about it. But... I couldn't give it to Brenda! Where would she think I got the money from?
Wayne
Later. I mean a birthday or something. Coming, then?
Wayne
All right! Coming down the pub?
[Getting up] You would've liked her, Wayne.
Blimey! What's this? [Picks up a bank note off the floor.] Who's dropped this? Look. Is this yours, then? [Passes the note to Bomber]
Oh-ho, I wish it was, boyo! [Passes it to Dennis]
It's 100 Marks! Hey, somebody's flush [Passes it to Wayne]
Wayne
Or bleedin' careless. [Passes it to Moxey]
Let's have a look. [Does so, then passes it to Neville] 100 Deutschmarks.
100 Alfreds? That's worth about twenty-five quid, ah. [The lads drunkenly giggle, but no-one owns up to dropping the money. Neville leaves the 100 Mark note on the table]
Hey, close the door, will ya? It's worse than the bloody Arctic! [Wayne goes to close the door, but as he does, Oz grabs hold of his wrist.]
Wayne
You naffin' lunatic! What's goin' on?
Look at this! [Holding up Wayne's hand, covered in green stains]
Wayne
What are you on about? [The others wake up]
Wayne
[Breaks free from Oz's grasp] You lunatic!
Look, last night I coated this note with this special stuff, right? Dennis knows what I'm talkin' about. The next day it stains your fingers, right? [Grabs Wayne's hand and holds it up again] Look at the evidence!
Wayne
What are you on about?
I doctored this note, didn't I?
Wayne
But the note's over there, ain't it? [Points to the 100 Mark note still on the table. The Turk also notices.]
[Looking at his stained hands] Hey, what's this?
[Looking at his hands too] I've got it as well.
[Also examining his hands] Eurgh!
Hey, does this come out? [While all the lads are checking their hands, the Turk - the real culprit - takes the 100 Mark note from the table, completely unnoticed by the lads, and exits the hut.]
[Looking at his hands, as is Bomber] Oh, no.
Wayne
You daft..!
Does this come off? I've got a tattoo on me arm I don't want, and now I've got green fingers! [Oz just looks confused.]
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet · 320 quotes
