[To the barman] Six pils, and six rounds of ham and cheese. [Oz enters the bar, the lads say nothing.] What'll it be, Oz?
[To the barman] Another pils.
Oh don't be daft, he only wants a swift half.
BBarman
He is not to come here!
[Gets up and approaches the bar] All right.
BBarman
[To Dennis] Last night!
That don't count! Come on, man. Give him a beer. [The barman reluctantly puts a seventh beer on the table. Oz goes over to the others.]
Did you get the boot then?
Aye, yeah. [He sits at the table, with the others, followed by Barry and Dennis, who puts a beer in front of Oz.]
I'm really sorry, Oz. I didn't mean...
Oh nae, it's not your fault, Neville, it's them bastards!
Come off it. You've only got yourself to blame, you brought this on yourself.
Because you're always soundin' off at the Germans! They're just a canny bunch of lads, same as the rest of us!
Well, alright, he's a hardnose. But it's his job, man.
Well Ulrich can put his job right in the shit, couldn't he, if you'd've back us up!
Oh, right, like a confrontation with the management over his unfair dismissal.
What good d'ya think that's gonna do?
Well it's ganna leave 'em short, isnit? Then what's he ganna dae?
He's gonna ring the agent and order another six Brits! He's got plenty to choose from, there's three million unemployed back home!
Well, it shouldn't be allowed. It's shouldn't! I mean, we've got wor rights, haven't we?
We haven't got any rights, Oz! We're on the lump, man, we're black. Look, if you want worker's rights, then register with the Germans. Pay them income tax, welfare, insurance. Can't have it both ways.
[Quietly] Right. So... [Louder] So... What yer sayin' is you won't back us up! One of yar own mates! Is that it?
Look, Oz, I'm sorry you got the boot, right? We all are. But I can do sod all about it.
Well you're the one that talked Grunwald into letting Neville stay, aren't ya?
There were two other factors that helped Neville: A - the bomb, and B - your big mouth.
Look, I've seen blokes like you come and go all the times I've worked in Germany. Never been out the UK before. Never eaten foreign food, never drank foreign beer. Fish out of water without the wife or the mother to lend a guiding hand. After a week they've lost their passports, they've got pissed, lost most of their money, and become ridiculously nationalistic for the country that can't even bloody employ them in the first place. man! [Oz gets up and walks towards the exit]
Me? No, no, I know when I'm not wanted? [Exits the bar.]
VVandal
[Checking the coast is clear] Okay. Jemand da, fangen wir an? (Okay, the coast is clear. Shall we begin?) [The vandals enter the site with red paint and brushes.] Wir müssen uns beeilen. (We need to hurry.) [They get to work painting on one of the walls being built.]
No, no. That's it for me. I'm going. [Pays up.]
BBarman
Where are your, er... friends?
Friends?! Ha! I've got no friends, me, man.
BBarman
[Gives Oz his change] You are very er... [Notices Oz's clothing] ...tonight?
Oh, aye. This? It's me best suit. Ha. All dressed up and nowhere to go, eh? Well, that's it. I'll see yer. [Turns to leave.]
Donkey shite. [Exits the bar]
VVandal
Was ist denn das? Das sieht aus wie ein Picasso. (What's that? It looks like a Picasso.)
[Returns to the site. He sees the shadows of the vandals and goes to investigate. He runs along the crane sleepers and spots them.] Hey! What do yer think you're doin'?
VVandal
Los! Weg! (Come on! Let's go!) [They run, ducking under the billboard and leave through a gap in the fence. One drops his tin of paint.]
[In pursuit] I'll knock yer bloody 'eads off! Come 'ere! [He trips over the paint tin and falls, his best suite ending up covered in red paint] Oh, bollocks!
Howay, Mac! Heard you had a bit of bother the other night.
I wasn't lookin' for any trouble.
Nah, nah, that's usually case, isn'it? Er... d'yer wanna drink?
Yeah, I'll have a schnapps there.
Schnapps, eh? [To barman] Two. Two schnapps here. [Magowan picks up a schnapps already on the bar and drinks it] So, er... when are you up in front of the beak, then?
Well, probably be a fine, yer kna, or you'll get bound o'er or something.
You never know where you are with these Erics, you know. They're gonna stuff it to me, you know that, bein' a Brit, like, you know. They've thrown me out the hostel.
They're just waitin' for their chance. They're very, very vindictive, [Looks aggresively at another drinker down the bar.] your average Eric.
Well, no. Let's... let's be fair. I mean, you can't really blame the Germans, can yer? I mean, live and let live. That's what I always say! I mean, yer average German's all reet. I mean, compared to a Turk, aye. [The barman looks on disapprovingly]
It was the Germans started that fight the other night. They provoked me.
Well... that's probably disputable, isn'it?
Hey, whose side are you on, then?
[Has a sip of his schnapps and coughs] Nobody's. No... I'm just sayin', I mean, it's not the first time it's happened, is it? Your record out here is not exactly untarnished.
Ehh, maybe. [Downs his schnapps in one. To the barman] Two more of them 'ere, you.
I mean... I'm no worse than most, you know. I mean... back on my own turf, like, you know, er... I'm a very popular bloke. [Oz, having drunk his schnapps, coughs] Leastways, no-one's ever said that they didn't like me, you know. Now and then I get a bit cantankerous, you know. Now and then.
Yeah, but I mean how often's "now and then"?
Right. [Downs another schnapps]
It must be the drink, yer kna, Mac, with you. I mean, it's a demon with some blokes, yer kna.
You know this fight the other night? I just had about ten pils, you know, a few schnapps... [Downs yet another schnapps, while Oz sips his] so it can't have been the drink!
I always thought that wrestling was rigged.
If that's the case, Neville, how come I always bloody well lose? [They laugh]
BBarman
Last orders, please!
Here, chief. What d'you want, Nev?
Er, I'll have a large Scotch and no ice, thanks. [Leaves the money on the bar and goes off to the toilet.]
Right. A pint and a half of bitter, a large Scotch, no ice. [Den leaves the bar.] Den's knocking back the hard stuff. Or is it just the excitement of the occasion?
Ah, I've hardly seen him, Bomb, actually. Oh, mind, I did have a drink with him last week and he was knocking back the Scotches at dinner time.
Oh, it's all right if you can afford it.
Course he went back to the family and that, but it never worked out.
Is that right? So he gives up Dagmar and ends up with nothing. It must have hurt him pretty hard.
[Comes to the bar] Look, lads, I've been addressing meself to the problems of accomodation. Apparently, there's a B&B down the road, or there's a lovely motel half a mile past the roundabout.
Yeah, I fancy the latter meself. [The pub phone rings.]
Neville I thought we were all goin' for a curry.
Oh, no, Nev. I'm gonna give the vindaloo a miss. I've never found it much conducive to romance.
Barman [Having answered the phone] Is there a Dennis Patterson here?
Aye. That must be Dennis. [Dennis returns to the bar] Den, there's a phone call for you.
It cannae be for me, man. Naebody knows I'm here.
BBarman
Are you Dennis Patterson?
Aye. [The barman signals for Dennis to come round to the phone. Dennis does so.] Hello?
So where are we staying then, Nev?
Eh? I dunno. Barry's, I suppose.
There ain't many amenities, mate. If I were you, I'd come with us. I might need a bit of, er... immoral support. [Tipping his head to the hitchhikers. Dennis returns to the bar.]
Who was that, Den? Was it Norma?
[Downing his Scotch] No. He'd rather we went across to see him. Yeah... he's been breathalysed! [He and Neville laugh.]
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet · 320 quotes
