[The lads finally arrive at the site. The Cockney, Wayne, is already hard at work and watches them as they arrive. The lads meet their boss, Herr Grunwald, at the site entrance...]
Reporting for work, sir. [Hands papers to Grunwald] Patterson, Osbourne and Hope. Er, Herr Pfister signed us on - two brickies and a chippie. [Neville motions to Dennis] Er, unless you want another brickie.
Er, well we know one if you do.
GGrunwald
Nein. [Dennis looks at Neville as if to say "I tried"] It is not good, I think, to arrive so late.
Yes, well sorry, sir. We had a bit of bother on the roads. [Glares at Oz] Look, can we just check in the hostel and we'll get back here smartish, eh?
GGrunwald
The hostel is full. You will have to stay on the compound. [The lads look into the site]
I thought we'd be in the hostel.
GGrunwald
First served, first come. Put your things in your hut. [Walks away]
'Hut'? What's he talkin' about, 'hut'?
It's pro tem, man. Pro tem. Howay.
[They grab their belongings and head inside the site...]
[To Dennis] You said we'd be in a hostel with table tennis and baths.
Aye, well we would've been, wouldn't we, if we'd've been on time! [Oz doesn't respond.]
Stalag 17 by the look of things.
Eeh, is there anywhere to go round here?
I don't know, Neville, you've seen as much of this place as I have.
Aye, but you've been here before.
Not to this site, I haven't. Neville, I can't choose the site! I'm a bricklayer, I'm not a bloody architect! [Spots a builder walking in their direction] Oi! [The builder approaches, he's significantly taller and more well built than the other three] Er, excuse me, d'yer speak English?
[In a Bristolian accent] 'Tis my mother tongue, my dear. Spoke it all my life. The name's Bomber.
Which is the best hut, Bomber?
Oh, I'd take that one. [Glances over to his left] The other one's got all the Turks in. We calls it the Casbah. [Walks off.]
You are telling me this man has worked here almost three weeks without credentials?
Oh he's got credentials, Herr Ulrich. But, er, as a bricklayer. One of the best, mind, I can vouch for that meself.
But he is working here as carpenter. How can this be?
Well, er... I can only presume it was some sort of administrative cock-up.
Wass? (What?) [As this goes on, site secretary Dagmar is listening in to their conversation from the other side of the office.]
Well, a mistake. A blunder, like.. With the agent.
I think not. [To Dagmar] Bringen Sie mir die Arbeitsbedingungen deshalb vom Erster September. (Bring me the workforce requirement from 1st September.) [To Dennis & Neville] My requirement is always exact. I cannot believe the agent would make a mistake.
Well, he's handlin' people for all over Germany, I mean there's 30,000 of us workin' here. [Dagmar gives Ulrich the paperwork.] There's bound to be the odd error, like.
Herr Pfister is most dependable. [He goes over the paperwork] Ja. Here is my letter to Herr Pfister dated August 4th - my requirement is exact. Carpenters - three, plasterers - five. He sent four only - one comes today. Bricklayers... two only. There is no "cock-up".
[To Dennis] Ask him if there's any chance of a vacancy coming up.
He speaks English, Neville.
Ah, but you always put things better than I do, Den.
[Sighs] Look, Mr. Ulrich, I've worked in your country three times before. Now, you can ring round all the Stompenfuhrers you like, they'll all confirm that I'm straight, right. Now you lot asked me to bring people back. That's why I brought this lad here, because he's top rank. Now, as he was under my wing, so to speak, wa didn't want to split up. Now I'm sure the occasion is gonna arise shortly when you need another bricklayer. But in the meantime, he'll do anything you like. He can shovel. Fair enough?
[Grunwald, who was working in the office next door, enters and approaches Ulrich, who gets out of his seat.]
GGrunwald
Was habt ihr Problem? (What is the problem?)
Dieser junge Mann sagte, er wäre Zimmermann. Es hat sich aber herausgestellt, dass er Maurer ist. Ich habe keine freie Stelle für solche. (This young man said he was a carpenter, but it turns out he's a bricklayer, and I have no vacancies for such.)
GGrunwald
[To Neville] This is true? You are bricklayer?
GGrunwald
What if there had been an accident? You would want compensation, ja? But the fault would be yours.
Oh, I never thought about that.
GGrunwald
Ja. [To Ulrich] Sie müssen das selbst ausmachen. Ich bin schon fünf Minuten später. (You'll have to sort this out, I'm already five minutes late.) [Grunwald leaves the office]
[Sits back down. To Neville] You do not work today. I must think.
[Dennis is called into the site office. Herr Grunwald looks over the site plans with Dagmar.]
You said you wanted to see me?
GGrunwald
Ja, as you seem to be the lead person.
GGrunwald
No matter. The point is... you can get Osbourne back. He can stay.
Really? Oh, thanks a lot. That'll be a relief to him.
GGrunwald
Ja... I hope he change for the better! [Exits the office]
He is very angry to give back the job.
[Pouring herself a coffee] Oh, because of the Germans. [She holds up her cup to ask if Dennis also wants a coffee]
They say it doesn't make them look good if an Englishman gets fired because of an argument with a German.
Mmm. So they said to him if he isn't coming back, we are not going to work.
GGrunwald
The police say that the girl... she was assaulted, beaten up.
Yeah, well, anybody could see that. What's that got to do with Neville?
GGrunwald
You saw what happened. She pointed him out. Last night, she say he beat her up.
That's bloody madness, man. Look, yer know young Neville, you know he's not capable of a thing like that! Don't yer?!
GGrunwald
It would surprise me, yes I admit.
GGrunwald
It is in police hands, all right?
No, it's not all right! Look, that young lad's down that cop shop, right? He's alone, he'll be scared stiff! He'll need a lawyer.Now you give me an hour off work, I'll get down there and try to sort it out.
GGrunwald
...all right. He should have help. [Dennis turns and leaves the office.]
GGrunwald
Wo denken Sie, wo Sie hingehen? (Where do you think you're going?)
Wir brauchen jemand zum dolmetschen. (We'll need someone to interpret.)
GGrunwald
Sie haben Ihre Arbeit. (You have work to do.)
Ich geh' mit ihm. (I'm going with him.) [She leaves her office.]
What's in the paper, then?
[Reading a paper.] Nothing that's gonna change the course of history, son. It's the music press, innit?
Oh. [Walks over to Wayne] You're really into that, aren't you? [Sits next to Wayne]
You should've been a rock star, you. Dead ringer for Ronnie Wood. Anybody ever told you that?
Yeah, couple of times, in fact. As it 'appens, I signed Woody's autograph for a couple of Fräuleins down the old town on Tuesday.
Go away, you didn't, did yer?
Yeah, yeah. There's no harm done though. They was thrilled at having met one of their idols, and I was gratified at having put a bit of colour into their otherwise drab existence.
That don't seem right to me somehow.
Look, I didn't abuse Woody's name by jumping 'em, did I? I could've.
Ehh, they were all over me like a cheap coat, they were. But I've got a code of ethics, Moxey. I know where to draw the line.
Very c-c-commendable, that, in this day and age.
Yeah, ain't it? Mind you, bein' ethical don't 'alf put a crimp in your nuts!
Hello, Herr Grunwald. Its not Monday already is it?
GGrunwald
No, it is not. It is Sunday. And on Sunday I expect to be with my family. At home.
Turfed you out, have they? Never mind, son. Pull up a bed. We accept all sorts in here.
GGrunwald
Please, I am not in the mood for your insolence. Where's Patterson?
Dennis? Down the baths, I think. What d'you want 'im for?
GGrunwald
He is your leader.
S'pose so. It's not a role he relishes, though.
GGrunwald
Englanders are the problem. [Walks sternly towards Wayne and Moxey] They always are!
Look, I just don't think it's fair that I'm held responsible for every British workman on this site.
GGrunwald
Well, I am not to be responsible for how you behave. Look, you people come over here, we give you work. But you are not registered, you are self-employed. So, if you cause trouble, then you must go, unless you correct it among yourselves.
Look, my lot don't cause any trouble.
GGrunwald
They are not saints.
Well, they're still a canny set o' lads. Just that Magowan.
GGrunwald
He is not German worker. He is Englander.
GGrunwald
Does he know you suggest this? I think it is better that he does not, ja?
Look, he's ended up in our hut now, man.
GGrunwald
Good. Then you can a close watch on him.
[Mutters] Oh aye. Smashing(!) [Exits the office]
GGrunwald
You wish something?
Er, just a word in your ear, sir.
GGrunwald
[To Dagmar] Dagmar, bitte machen sie mir eine Tasse Kaffee. (Dagmar, can you go make me a coffee, please?)
Das dauert noch ein bischen. Es is noch nicht ganz durch gemacht. (It'll take a while. It's not quite ready yet.)
GGrunwald
Ich glaube, ich habe mein Auto nicht abgeschlossen. Können Sie mal sehen? (I think I forgot to lock my car. Can you go and check?) [Hands Dagmar his car keys. She takes them and leaves the office.] Follow me, please. [Dennis follows Grunwald into his office.] Yes, Patterson, what is it?
Not a word. Not one word will be heard by any of my lads. No to no-one, not to the Brits, not to the Erics, not to nobody. You have my solemn oath.
GGrunwald
All your hut knows.
All except Magowan. But the rest of my lads, I promise you. However, if, er... if Magowan does find out, I mean his silence... I cannae guarantee.
So, er... it'd be best all round if Magowan left.
GGrunwald
For what excuse can I give? He is good worker.
You'll think of somethin'. [Smiles, then leaves Grunwald to it.]
[Gives a thumbs up] Nice one.
Hey, Nev, what time are the Army arriving, eh?
Aboot six o'clock, I'd better put a move on, eh?
We'll go down on the bike, they can follow us back in a taxi.
Aye, it should be a good night. And you're in the team after all, Nev.
Ah, that's not important.
Hello, Dennis. [The lads put their tools in storage] Ahh, it's great, innit? The old spirit restored.
Aye, a darts match and a piss-up to follow, eh? Magic!
Better get some practice in.
Yeah, gotta make a good show against the Army lads.
Aye, well there's no panic. We can have a monumental piss-up, but you can forget all about the darts match.
Magowan's pissed off with the dartboard. [We see the bare wall where the dartboard used to be. Moxey looks disappointed.]
GGrunwald
Well, gentlemen, as you probably know there have been one or two changes in the Federal Government's attitude to Gastarbeiter - visiting workers. This is because of increasing unemployment here in West Germany. Oh yes, we have it too.
Yes, but ours is bigger than yours! [The others laugh]
GGrunwald
So, we have had to look at ways of keeping more jobs for our own people. Up until now, you have worked here without paying tax or insurance, and that has been very convenient for all of us, ja? But, from next Monday, if you wish to stay and work here in Germany, you will have to apply for official registration and be issued with a license.
Ere, does that mean we gotta give up our British nationality? 'Cos I'm buggered if I'm becoming a German!
GGrunwald
No no no, you do not understand. As members of the EEC you have the right to work here, but from now you must accept your financial obligations to the German state.
Well... can we not just graft here and then send wor tax home?
I'm not being ridiculous! I just think it's a bit strong that we give Germany all our skill and labour, and now it's tryin' ta issue us with dog licenses and take what little pittance of money we earn off wor!
Just ignore him, Herr Grunwald.
GGrunwald
So... if you could let me know as soon as possible if you wish to stay or not, we can get on with the paperwork.
I can let you know straight away, Herr Grunwald. I'm goin' back to England.
Me too, Herr Grunwald. Family calls.
GGrunwald
I shall be sorry to see both of you go. Anyone else?
...Well, personally, I... I'm not quite sure yet, Herr Grunwald.
GGrunwald
[turns to Wayne and Dennis] And what about you, Mr. Patterson? [Dagmar looks through into Grunwald's office at Dennis. Oz turns to Dennis]
I haven't decided yet, Herr Grunwald.
GGrunwald
Well, it looks as if no-one will be staying, ja?
I wouldn't be too sure about that, Herr Grunwald. [Referring to Wayne, who has been exchanging glances with Christa in the other office the entire meeting]
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet · 320 quotes
