'Ello, 'ello! Only three hours? I thought you said you weren't a speed freak!
Ah it's not bad, Wayne. Y'know, I mean you could've built a garage in that time, never mind repair one.
Well, I hope you don't expect to be paid for this afternoon.
Oz...Just pour us a cup o' tea, will ya?
Come on then, blow-by-blow account!
The boy looks wrecked. She certainly taken it out of him.
Oz
[Sighs] Unbelievable. It's the only word for it. Unbe- I mean if I told yer, yer wouldn't believe it, so...
Well we won't know till you tell us, will we?
Oz
Well, yer kna what I was saying in the bar the other night aboot, eh, aulder women?
Oz
Yea, experience an' all that beef... Dear me! This one... this one makes Simone Signoret look like Shirley Temple, that one!
Doesn't mean nowt to me! I've never seen either of them.
Oz
Well I'll try and put it another way.
Oz
Yer kna when footballers get to a certain age, they've gotta slow their game doon? Yer kna, but they seem to get to be better players because of experience, yer kna. Like Johnny Giles, Leeds and Éire. I feel like I've been playing with somebody like him after ninety minutes of soccer.
It's funny you should mention that about footballers, Oz. 'Cos the only older woman I ever had looked like Billy Bremner! [Everyone laughs]
Now I can get my beloved motor out, eh? Can I borrow your van, Den?
Aye, sure, yeah. Here y'are. [Gives Wayne the keys]
I'll, erm, probably need someone to drive it back.
Oz
[Oz opens a bottle] Yeah, what?
Off you gan wi' Wayne, make sure he doesn't spend his finishing bonus on the way across.
Oz
Why me, like?
Because we've spent two months tarting this place up! I don't want a lunatic like you in there pissed!
Oz
Ah nah, I'm not gannin!
I'm still the gaffer, so get gan!
Oz
[As he and Wayne get out of the van] I've telled him to get these brakes sorted! [They look inside the pound. Wayne's car is just behind the fence]
There. There, look. [The car is still dirty.] 800 quid and they ain't even bloody cleaned it.
Oz
[Scoffs] They've probably been out joy-ridin' in it, man. Did yer check the clock before you give 'em it?
Y'know, I didn't think of that!
Oz
I'll come in wi' yer, I'll tell 'em I'm yer legal adviser. If yer get any grief, I'll nut 'im.
Right, it shouldn't take long, Mr. Norris. You have the full amount with you, I presume?
Of course. [Throws the money down on the desk.] There it is. It's in pounds though, not Deutschmarks. Is that all right, sunbeam(?)
No need for any sarcasm, thank you, sir. [He starts to count the money]
Oz
There's nae need to count it, man. It's all there.
I have to check it, sir... just in case you've given me too much.
Ere, listen, seeing as I've paid you up in full, I don't reckon you can tell me who shopped me, can you?
Certainly not, that's privileged information.
I thought it might be. [Oz looks around the office and sees a photo of a woman on the cabinet behind Wayne. His eyes widen - it's the mature woman from the Barley Mow! He clears his throat to attract Wayne's attention then nods towards the photo. Wayne turns and glances at the photo, then turns back to the customs inspector] Just looking at the photograph. Lovely lady. Who is it?
That happens to be my wife, sir. [Oz turns away]
Very attractive, wouldn't you say so, Oz?
Oz
[Turns back] What? Oh, yes, uh-huh... Not my cup o' tea, like, but... tidy bit o' tackle.
[Gets up] Right. I'll get you a receipt, Mr. Norris. Won't take a minute. [He leaves the office, glancing at a sheepish Oz as he does.]
[As soon as the customs officer is out of earshot] Well, I declare, as they say in the trade! [Laughs as they gather by the photo]
Oz
Can yer believe it? It's ironic, really isn'it, when yer think aboot it. If he hadn't've nabbed your car, I wouldn't've knobbed his wife!
Poetic justice, that's what I call it. 'Ere, talking of justice, you keep dog eye, because I want to check out who shopped me. [Oz goes on lookout while Wayne opens a foolscap wallet. He goes through the documents.]
Oz
Owt there?
Hold on... [He finds the relevant document] Hold it, here we go... "Dear Sir, acting on information received from a Mr. Arthur Pringle of the Barley Mow Inn..."
Oz
[Scoffs] Pringle... Might've knaan it'd be that old bastard!
Oz
[Sitting with his back to the stripper] Well... I'm sorry I'm not yer genial host tonight, lads. I mean, any other time I'd have been happy to... drag ya roond the flesh pots of the north east, yer kna, but... Oh, it's just this thing with me kid, I mean, it's weighin' heavy on us.
[Not taking his eyes off the stripper, as is Moxey] I'm sure it does, son.
Oz
I mean, I kna what yer think. I kna what everybody thinks for that matter. You think that I'm irresponsible. A bit of a heid-the-baw. A bit of a...
Oz
Yeah, oh all right, Moxey! All right! Yer not always rowin' with all yer oars in the water yersel', yer kna!
No. Fair enough. Sorry, Oz.
Oz
But I'm still 'is father, isn't I? He's still me kid. [Turns around for a second to the stripper, then turns back again.] You have to put yersel' in my place. Wayne, man! [Wayne finally turns to Oz] Put yersel' in my place, man, with this business with the kid, man. Because you're married, aren't you, eh? If your bird pissed off and left yer, how would that feel, eh, if she went back to Germany?
Who's been talking to you, then?
Oz
[Confused] Naebody, man, I'm talkin hypothetically.
Oz
Well, I mean, can yer imagine if she had a sprog, eh, and she dragged him back to Düsseldorf? You'd never see it again. Can you imagine how that would feel?
[Quietly] Yeah, well, I can, as it happens...
Yer do things on the spur of the moment, Oz, without ever thinking them through. I mean, where were you gonna take the lad, eh?
Oz
Well I wasn't gonna hang on to him, man, I only wanted twenty four hours with him, to find out how he feels aboot this trip abroad, man. Find oot how he felt about this Sandro gadgy. And she wouldn't let us anywhere near the bairn, so I had to dae what I did, didn't I?
Well she'll be even less disposed to let you see him now.
Ah, so you met the Italian in question, did you?
Oz
Aye, yes, we exchanged one or two words, yes.
What sort of person did he seem then, Oz?
Oz
Well, he seemed perfectly affable and pleasant and polite, but I mean ye cannae gan on that, can yer? He's a waiter, he's trained to be.
Oh come off it, Oz. You said in the car that he was a nice enough sort of bloke.
Oz
Aye, but them were first impressions, weren't they? He's gotta be a bit micey if he wants to lob up with my Marjorie!
[Holding a couple of mugs] Shall I do another pot? [Everyone murmurs in agreement]
No, I'll do it, pet. [Exits into the kitchen]
So, when do they leave, then?
Oz
Eh? Er... Next week.
If you ask me... just in my opinion, like... I think living in Italy might benefit the lad. I mean, he'd had the climate, when he comes back he'll be bilingual, a wonderful advantage. I only spent one night in this area and I'll tell you it was a bleeding terrifying experience!
Yer can't judge a place on one night, man!
Oz
[Overlapping with Dennis] What's wrong with this place? We've all seen Wolverhampton, it's not exactly Beverly Hills, is it?
Here we are. [Places the mugs into the sink.]
Ah, you didn't need to do that. I'd have seen to it.
That's all right. Just glad to get out of the smoke. [Picks up a tea towel and starts drying up]
Oh, you've not left your wife, have you, and run off with a sailor?
[Smiles] If you do, you'll be the first to know.
Honestly, it's been like Heartbreak Hotel here this week, I'm thinking of leaving me job at the hospital and taking up marriage guidance!
Well, we'll be off in a couple of days and you can get some peace and quiet.
[Enters the kitchen] Brenda?
The kettle's not ready yet, pet.
No, could you come and have a word with the lads, please? [Brenda takes off her gloves and goes into the living room. Bomber takes over doing the dishes.]
Brenda, er... We're all agreee we think Oz has got a case here. I mean, we think that he should see his young lad before he's whisked off to a foreign country.
Oh, I quite agree, Dennis.
The main problem is the situation with Marjorie is... delicate, to say the least. I mean she has to understand that Oz seeing his son won't be a threat to her. I mean, that's only right and proper.
So, er, we thought the best way to convince her would be, erm... if you had a word with her.
Oz
Aye. This is where your grandda used to work.
Oz
Well, not here exactly. Up the river. Wallsend slipway.
Oz
No, nah. He was a riveter. Hard man. Proud man. But, the job killed him in the end. That's why you never got to meet him. [Opens a bar of chocolate and gives some to Rod.] Aye, it's funny... he built ships what went all over the world, and yet he never left Tyneside. I think that's how I become a bit of a wanderer, yer kna, got a bit of a gypo in us. 'Cos I said to meself when I was your age, I said, "That's never ganna happen to me." Mind, not that I'm afraid of hard graft or nowt like that. It's just... well... yer kna, there's a great big world out there.
Oz
Well, that's... that's how come I'm pleased about yer gannin to Italy, yer kna. Now that I kna how you're feeling aboot it, 'cos I mean it's... it's gotta do you good, hann'it, really? I mean, you'll come back and be able to... parlez amour Italiano, as they say. Give yer an idea what the world's about. And it has to improve yer ball control, doesn't it? Yeah?
[Laughs for a second.] My teacher says I'm very fortunate.
Oz
Aye, well, your teacher's right for once.
I'll miss me friends though.
Oz
Ey, you'll make new ones, man. Anyway, you'll be back, won't yer? I mean... [chuckles] ...you couldn't leave this for long, yeah?
Oz
Now, I don't wanna wait six months for a postcard, allreet? [The bus stops.] Well, er, have a great time. [Rod boards the bus.] But here, listen - you might be a man of the world now, but never forget your roots, son. Right? You'll always be a Geordie no matter where you go. 'Cos this is the place what shaped yer, made yer what y'are. Alright?
Ciao, dad. [Pays the driver, the door closes and the bus starts to drive off.]
Oz
Auf wiedersehen, son.
The food doesn't seem so good tonight, does it, Wayne?
There's no difference in the food, son. It's the mood that's down the crapper.
Oz
Well, it's got to be said... [Burps] ...this latest development with this Martin gadgy, I mean it's took the shine off the trip to Spain to everybody, hann'it?
Of all the blokes in Newcastle, you had to pick on him.
Oz
What?!
He picks on a lot of people, Nev. So the odds aren't that outlandish!
Oz
Hold on a minute, hang on, it wasn't me who started that barney, it was that Martin gadgy, man, wann' it?
Hey, hey, if you remember, the incident occured because you tried to get into his old lady's knickers.
Oz
Oh, hey, hold on! I don't think you're one to point the finger aboot that, do you, eh? We've been dropped in the clarts plenty of times by your rampant member, haven't we?
They never forget, do they?
C'mon, lads. Fair's fair. That Martin's a born headbanger. And I can't say I fancy working alongside him.
Hey, Moxey! Where've you been?
I called 'round your house, Den, and er, your sister said you were all in here.
Oz
[Calls down the table] Give him a chair, somebody.
Before I do, though, there's just a couple of things I'd like to say, y'know. Er, I've got me passport sorted out, y'know, so I can go to Spain. There's no problems there.
Oz
[Sets a chair at the head of the table for Moxey] Fantastic!
But I know I've caused you lot a lot of aggravation, y'know, with all this duckin' and divin' an' that, so, er, well if you don't want us to go, y'know, I'll understand, and there'll be no hard feelin's.
Oz
Naah!
Get this man a drink! He's the guest of honour.
Oz
Guest of honour? He's the man of the year as far as I'm concerned! [Shouts to a waiter] Another one here!
You've turned up, sunbeam, that's what you've done.
Somebody better tell that Martin fella to forget it.
The Magnificent Seven rides again! Yahey!
You came in the nick of time, my son.
I'm made up! You lot don't exactly owe me any favours.
It's you that's doing us a favour, man. [Stands up, glass in hand] A toast, to Moxey! [They all raise their glasses]
It's great to have you back! [Moxey smiles]
Oz
...It's what?
Oz
Francis Fogarty? [Laughs] Where did you get Francis Fogarty from?
Well it wasn't my idea, y'know. If it was up to me, I'd like to be called Derek. But no Derek died in Kilburn on Tuesday.
RRussell
Party of ten for Swallow Tours. Are you all here? Let me have your tickets and passports, and we'll get you checked through.
Want a Playboy for your Neville?
I'm not getting that, it's disgusting!
[Laughs] Cosmo? Ooh, I'll have that after you.
Listen, pass us down the Nursing News. There's a really good article about... [The rest of their conversation is drowned out by the airport tannoy, and they pick magazines.]
AAAirport Announcer
Passengers for Flight 213 to Málaga to Gateway 2, please.
[To Debbie] I think it's very noble of your dad to bring you and your mum along, you know? 'Cos it'll keep him out of mischief! Listen, d'you know why? Because we're going to be sampling all that pulchritude down there. [Laughs.]
There'll not be much of that, man. The tourist season's well finished.
Oz
There'll be enough, divvn't you worry. Anyway, with a bit of luck, we'll have sorted summat out before we land.
'Ere! Are you trying to tell me, right, that on this charter tour, there ain't gonna be a surplus of salesgirls, secretaries, hairdressers, the lot, eh? I tell you, we'll be well locked off before we've even landed, son!
RRussell
[At the check-in line] Check-in over here, Mr. Patterson. [The group join the check-in line. In front of them is a large group of pensioners.]
Hold on, what's all this lot, then?
RRussell
It's the Spennymoor & District Senior Citizens Society. They go every year. You were lucky to get those seats! [Wayne's face falls.]
I wouldn't waste any time, Wayne. I'd steam in now! [Cockney accent] Get it all locked off, son! [Laughs.]
Oz
What was it Fraser said aboot us coming doon here? He was sendin' a team doon to help the British unemployed. Ho, ho, what a lot of bollocks! [Takes a swig of a bottle of beer.] It's obvious we're here 'cos there's not a building worker available from Malaga to Gib!
I never saw so much building in all my life!
It's a brickie's paradise!
Mind, I think it's ruined the view.
Aye, but think of all the lads they're employing, man. They must all be millionaires.
Y'know, I had a totally false impression of this place. I thought it was all, y'know, yachts, and playboys with Porsches. I've seen more bloody cranes than sports cars!
Yeah, y'see, leisure is the new growth industry of the eighties.
We ain't got the climate, have we, Nev? Look, look. [Points to a giant water slide] When would you ever see a bloody water chute in Wolverhampton High Street?
Shall we get a cab to Marbella, check that out?
Oz
Nah, I just wanna get to me pit. [Burps.] Christ, I've had more excitement in Berwick on a wet Sunday afternoon.
Yeah, let's put the lid on this one, eh?
Mind you... it is Tuesday. [Everyone stares at Barry.] What I mean is, er, nothing ever happens on a Tuesday, does it?
Oz
I think Newcastle won the Fairs Cup on a Tuesday.
I knew this bloke once who killed himself on a Tuesday.
[Bored] Been in here, had he?
It's nice to think you could retire to somewhere like this. I suppose the best I could hope for is a caravan near Clevedon overlooking the Bristol Channel.
At least people would talk to you there, Bomb. You'd have neighbours and friends. Where out here, you'd probably wind up next to some people like that couple who hoyed us out of their pool today.
Oz
Aye. I know we were trespassing, like, but as soon as I seen his face I hate him. He's just the sort of person that makes you ashamed to be English.
In all fairness, Oz, he probably feels exactly the same about you.
Oz
What? Well, he shouldn't, should he? 'Cos I'm isn't. He is. He is. Every time I see his sort, the hairs on me back curl up!
Oz
Yeah. A prick, in my language. He's the sort of bloke who'd sit in the golf club all day, moaning and groaning, or write to the papers about [Posh accent] how people don't pull their weight. [Normal accent] Then what does he do when he cops his pension, eh? Whoosh! Body sweve doon to Spain so he'll not get collared wi' nae tax!
Er, when did you last pay your income tax, Oz? Was it...
Oz
What's that gotta do with anything?
I thought you lads might be a bit thirsty.
Oz
Oh, San Miguel? [Wayne and Nev take a beer from the tray.]
Vicky, just bring that over here, will you? I'll take care of that. [She puts the tray on the table] There you go, gentlemen, help yourselves to a beer. I'll be with you in just a moment. Uno momento. Vicky? [Goes into the villa. Vicky follows.]
Always wondered what our Vicky would look like unwrapped.
Look, Vicky, when we've got these cowboys around the place, it might look better if you didn't go around flaunting yourself.
[Looks down at her bikini-clad body] Who's flaunting?
D'ya think that bikini's the height of discretion? I used to use bigger plasters to cover my pimples.
Yes, well, you don't complain as a rule, do you? [Reclines on the sofa]
Well, as a rule, I don't have seven randy brickies running around the patio!
Well, there's going to be no point in going out is there? I mean, I cannae sunbathe, I cannae go for a swim 'cos there's nae water in the pool, I cannae play me records 'cos I cannae hear them for the concrete mixer...
Are the arrangements not to your liking, Vicky?
Is the villa no longer up to scratch? May I just remind you that two years ago, when you were a manicurist at Maison André, your idea of the holiday of a lifetime was a fortnight at Redcar!
Listen, I travelled before I met you, Ally Fraser. Me and me friend Barbara had two successive summers in Magaluf.
Och, well, in that case... In that case... [Picks up the phone and hands it to Vicky] Why don't you just give Barbara a bell? See if she's still got the tent!
Afternoon, Ally. Didn't expect to see you back this early. [Fraser produces a copy of The Sun.]
Oz
Is that an English paper you got there?
That's right, Oz, I've got an English paper. Something I'd like to read to you here, boys, I don't want to take up too much of your valuable time. If you just gather around, please. [The lads down tools and gather round Fraser.] Right. Are we all sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. [Reads from the paper] "Spain's Costa del Crime is still a haven for the growing band of Brits who Scotland Yard are," quote, "'anxious to question'. Kenny Ames, 47, who persists in denying he was Britain's King of Porn, continues to sun himself on his luxury yacht in Marbella."
Ah, that sounds like the one we were on, is it?
[Continues reading] "No doubt, his companions, newly arrived from England are business associates." [He puts the paper down for the others to see.]
[Pointing to the photo] Hey, that's us!
Oz
Hey, look at that! Centre spread!
I've seen much better photos of me than that one, though.
What's Brenda's folks ganna say?
[He picks up where Fraser left off.] "I spoke exclusively to the new arrivals in their luxury hotel."
"They were evasive about their reasons for being in Spain, one of them claiming that they were members of the Wolverhampton Aqualung Society." [Looks at Barry, then back at the paper.] "Research has shown that no such club exists. Meanwhile, police continue their search for the gang who pulled off the daring payroll robbery in Sheffield last week." [The lads voice their disdain.]
Oz
Wasn't that geezer who was buyin' all the booze in the bar the other neet called Nick?
Is this your idea of keeping a low profile?
Why, that story's a load of bollocks!
I know that, and I bet half of Fleet Street knows that, and in their effort to discredit this story they'll be down here buzzing 'round you like flies 'round a jam jar!
Well, why don't we just tell 'em we're ordinary gadgys?
[Presses the paper to Neville's chest] Working on my villa, I suppose? Well that's precisely exactly what I'm trying to avoid, my friend!
Wait a minute, I mean, we can still be ordinary gadgys. Just down here on holiday. We just have to make it look convincing, that's all.
And how do we do that, Dennis?
Well, er... you'd better give us the rest of the week off.
GGeoffrey
Good heavens! Look at this. [Gives the paper to Pauline, who looks at the photo.]
PPauline
I'm not surprised. [Throws the paper onto the floor.] One only had to look at them.
GGeoffrey
I sometimes wonder if Worthing wouldn't have been a better idea.
Oz
[Shouts to Wayne] Oi-oi, London! What's happenin'? Owt you can't handle, send 'em up to me. [Wayne returns to the lads.]
Not much joy out there, Oz. See, they're Norwgeian, ain't they, and you know what your only point of reference is when you're Norwegian, don't ya?
Oz
What's that?
Open deck sarnie, ain't it?
Well, that's probably why they're a bit sticky, then, innit?
RRonnie
Sorry to interrupt, but I can see you're busy.
Oz
Who are you?
SSid
[Pulls out a dictaphone] Have you lads got a few words to say to the press?
Oz
[Scoffs] Aye, yes. I've got two, and the second one's "off".
Go on and beat it. We're in enough trouble because of you buggers.
RRonnie
We know about that, but we want to help you lads.
Here, you wouldn't happen to know the Norwegian for "Can I get into your knickers?", would you? [Chuckles]
SSid
Look, the more you stall us, the more difficult it's gonna be for you in the end.
Oz
Look, look. [To Wayne] Gan have a swim. [Wayne walks off. To the journalists] Look, that rubbish in the papers wasn't true, right? It was a load of crap, alright? We're not bank robbers, man, for Christ's sake!
RRonnie
Lovely, we wanna believe that too, so we can write spoilers on that crap Nick Wheeler wrote.
SSid
So, just tell us who you really are and what you're doing here, and we'll all go home. [Holds his dictaphone right in Oz's face]
Oz
Just mind yer own business! [Shoves the dictaphone away.]
RRonnie
Hey, hey, you're not helping us, son!
Look, boyos, what that bloke wrote was a load of cobblers. We know it, so why should we have to prove it to you?
SSid
So we can deny it on your behalf.
[Returns] Oh yeah? So the other mob can deny it again, and erm, it's a vicious circle, innit?
Oz
'Ere, I've had enough of these bastards! [Snatches the dictaphone from Douglas] I'm gonna bury them in the sand, head first, eh?
RRonnie
Hey, hold on, hold on.
Oz
Head first! [Takes the tape out of the dictaphone and throws it away, before throwing the dictaphone away.]
RRonnie
Here, hold on, son!
Oz
'Ere? What?
RRonnie
We can always head back to England and write you up as holidaying scroungers from the dole queue!
Oz
[Menacingly] Can yer?
SSid
It's all right! It's all right, it'll probably take a day or two to realise it's all in your own... [Turns round and sees Bomber stood up and glaring down at him.] ...Come on, Ronnie! [The two journalists run away.]
Remind me not to buy the English papers when I get home!
Incredible this place, innit? It's like Bermondsey transported to the Costa del Sol.
Oz
I was standin' at the bar there before getting the bevvies. A bloke comes up, says, "tooled up on yer last job, were ya, Geordie?" "Oh, aye, I had two trowels, a spirit level..." [Laughs, but notices Barry doesn't] He never laughed at it, neither.
Oz
You can say that again. [Points out a group of women.] Look at these here. You can just tell by lookin' at them that they've spent the best part of their married life behind an ironing board in some poxy tower block, yer kna, husband in an' oot the nick all the time, but just manages to keep everything together with the promise of one big last job, and then it'll be off skiing, the sunshine, champagne. Yer kna, all that. And then it comes off, they gets here, and what do they dae? Recreate all the squalor they wanted to piss off from in the first place!
[Shakes his head] What a futile existence, eh? No need to work, but no real way of enjoying themselves, except from getting pissed and maudlin about London.
Oz
Fish oot of water, man, isnit?
I wonder what their kids do for schooling.
Oz
[Scoffs] God knas.
Perhaps their dads teach them. [They laugh.]
Oz
Oh, you can just imagine that, can't you? "All right, now, son, here's the question: If yer daddy and yer Uncle Terry and yer Uncle Arthur stick up an armoured car for half a million quid in the Mile End Road, how much does that leave them with each? And you can use yer fingers." [Chuckles]
Oz
[Head in hands] Dear me, I thought I'd ne'er thought I'd see the day I'd be glad I couldn't get a fry-up! [Coughs loudly. Moxey, also hungover, joins them. Oz laughs] Don Juan! [Barry stirs his coffee noisily.] D'yer have to do that? D'yer have to do that... so loud?
Ah, sorry. [Takes the spoon out and taps the top of his mug a few times. Oz winces.]
Oh, what was that bloody stuff we were drinking last night?
Oz
Never mind what we were drinking, it was what them bastard groupies was guzzlin' in that done all the damage! [Reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money.] I've got about three pound left.
Maybe we should rob a payroll wagon after all. [Carlos brings Moxey a coffee.]
That remark is in very poor taste, if you don't mind me saying so, Moxey. If it wasn't for people like you glamourising criminal activity, we wouldn't be pestered by the press, would we? Or exploited by those vacuous females last night.
Oz
That didn't stop ye stickin' yer heid in the door, did it? See if there was any exploitin' to be done, eh?
Well, if we can't go out, and we can't stay in, there's not much point in being here, is there?
Nah. We're not tourists. We're not workers. We're trapped. We're in limbo!
Oz
They divvn't limbo here, man. They flamenco. [Chuckles, then coughs.]
Barry's got a point though, eh? Leisure without graft has got a pretty hollow ring.
Well, none of this is actually helping to decide what we're gonna do today though, is it? [Gets out of his chair to go to the breakfast buffet] Don't think I can face another day of sunlight, sangria... [Clutches his stomach] ...or food, either. [Carefully sits back down.]
I've just had an absolutely brilliant idea. Why don't we hire a couple of cars and hit the road? Eh? Toddle off down to Gibraltar, it's not far you know, border's open now. What do you think?
There'd be cheap British beer, duty frees, and today's papers too.
Papers are still a sore point, you know, Bomb.
Oz
Aye, g'wan, I'm up for it. I've alwayd wanted me photo taken with them... with them baboons.
Right... [Gets some money from his pocket.] Here is my contribution. I suggest you three pool your resources as well. I'll go and wake Wayne up. [Gets up.] If he's interested, I'll get a hire car brochure in Reception. [Leaves the bar.]
Oz
I wonder if they do a five-seater Porsche?
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet · 320 quotes
